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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

(a whole list of them will emerge but for starters) to ask my mother to get a train?

54 replies

mosschops30 · 25/07/2011 15:39

yep shes staying for a whole week so this will probably end up as a ranting thread.
Her train is late, and i have an osteopath appointment, so not able to pick her up when she arrives.
I asked if she could get a train to us (well out of the city centre anyway), its one stop, and she just has to change platforms when she gets off the train shes already on.
Cue much sighing, dont think she can manage to buy another ticket, dont bother i'll just get a taxi (£12)!
so now looks like i'll have to drive into city centre at 5 pm with the hungry dcs to pick her up, god knows what time we'll be home.

Aibu to expect her to get on a train and go one stop fgs

OP posts:
manicbmc · 25/07/2011 15:41

Tell her to cross the platform and get on a train going in the opposite direction. Grin

LaurieFairyCake · 25/07/2011 15:41

Let her pay for the taxi - it's her choice!

Don't feel guilty.

AbbyAbsinthe · 25/07/2011 15:44

I'm not sure on this one - how often does she visit?

When I go and see my mum, I have to get another train from the main station so that she doesn't have to drive 5 miles to pick me and the dc up - and it pisses me off, to be honest.

faaaaghinatub · 25/07/2011 15:44

Is she, a grown woman, incapable of changing trains or sorting out how to use public transport then?

Or arranging a taxi for herself reliably?

Your DCs shouldn't have to go hungry / you run around stressed because she can't do a simple thing like that. Do you or others in the family enable her like this often?

No wonder you're annoyed! YANBU.

EverythingInMiniature · 25/07/2011 15:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LineRunner · 25/07/2011 15:45

Why can't she just get the taxi?

bubblesincoffee · 25/07/2011 15:45

Let her pay for the taxi!

mosschops30 · 25/07/2011 15:46

Lol manic that woyld be fab.
She is as narc/dependent personality so likes to be enabled yes. This will be the tip of the iceberg this week, im dreading it

OP posts:
stillstanding · 25/07/2011 15:46

lol manicbmc

How old is she? Is she frail etc etc? Sometimes I think we forget that older people (and I don't even mean very old) really do find this kind of thing rather daunting. And they want to feel loved and important etc enough to be picked up.

But ultimately ... YANBU

manicbmc · 25/07/2011 15:48

If she's going to act like some petulant child, treat her like one. Wink

LineRunner · 25/07/2011 15:48

mosschops30, I guess we'll be linking up with you often for the next 7 days, then?

Holding your hand, there, mosschops.

mosschops30 · 25/07/2011 15:51

Lol im afraid so!
Shes not frail, shes going to majorca with her friend next month. However shed probably like to be frail so everyone would fuss and she likes to feel important yes

OP posts:
ChristinedePizan · 25/07/2011 15:52

No, it's ridiculous for her to expect you to drive into town and pick her up. My mum used to get two different trains to get to my house when I lived in London and she's in her late 70s.

Don't give in to her!

EuphemiaMcGonagall · 25/07/2011 15:55

Oh bloody hell she sounds like my MIL. DH and I don't enable her silly behaviour; BIL and SIL do. Nightmare.

Tuppenyrice · 25/07/2011 15:58

I feel your pain.
Do not rise to it.
Be clear. Tell her it's a really rubbish time (traffic, hungry children) and much easier if she gets the train or taxi.

Good luck x

pebbles1234 · 25/07/2011 15:59

not unreasonable at all - but mine just the same...I made her get the train out of the city to get to me once.....and I have never heard the end of it! that said, I dont think you should give in, and you might inspire me to be stronger next time!Grin

bubblesincoffee · 25/07/2011 16:07

Maybe if you make a stand with this, she will take the hint and not be so demanding for the rest of the trip.

Pixieonabroomstick · 25/07/2011 16:10

Ah so she can manage to go abroad but not change platforms ? Yeah right. Let her get a taxi and dont let her guilt you into anything.
My mum is like this , often comes out with total bollocks , when i point out she is talking rubbish she gets all upset and says that she can never do anything right and that im always picking at her and saying shes wrong. I can imagine her doing something like this actually.
Christ you have my sympathy.

Maryz · 25/07/2011 16:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EuphemiaMcGonagall · 25/07/2011 16:15

Having just spent a few days on holiday with my parents for the first time in 25 years, you have my sympathy. My dad is incredibly high-maintenance, and it's very wearing.

One evening I escaped to Waitrose for an hour just for some time to myself. Hmm

Maryz · 25/07/2011 16:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhereYouLeftIt · 25/07/2011 16:17

Good advice, as ever, from Maryz there.

Ephiny · 25/07/2011 16:24

YANBU, I can't see how it's a massive inconvenience to her to walk over to the other platform and get on a train. It can't be any more difficult than getting a taxi, which she was willing to do! And probably quicker than waiting around for you to come and pick her up.

EvenLessNarkyPuffin · 25/07/2011 16:26

You could call the station and give your mother's name and the train she's on and explain she needs help to get onto the right train as she's so vunerable. She'd love the fuss from the sound of it

slug · 25/07/2011 16:33

You poor thing. When my mother was 58 she came to the UK on her first ever trip abroad. She borrowed my backpack and merrily went inter railing around Europe, staying in youth hostels and getting by with her schoolgirl French. She also has severely restricted vision (is not quite bad enough to be registered blind, but nearly).

If she can manage to change a platform in a country where she knows the language and knows where she is going then so can your mum. She's choosing to be difficult.