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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

(a whole list of them will emerge but for starters) to ask my mother to get a train?

54 replies

mosschops30 · 25/07/2011 15:39

yep shes staying for a whole week so this will probably end up as a ranting thread.
Her train is late, and i have an osteopath appointment, so not able to pick her up when she arrives.
I asked if she could get a train to us (well out of the city centre anyway), its one stop, and she just has to change platforms when she gets off the train shes already on.
Cue much sighing, dont think she can manage to buy another ticket, dont bother i'll just get a taxi (£12)!
so now looks like i'll have to drive into city centre at 5 pm with the hungry dcs to pick her up, god knows what time we'll be home.

Aibu to expect her to get on a train and go one stop fgs

OP posts:
HerHissyness · 25/07/2011 16:37

Excellent advice maryz! Grin

mosschops, come on girl, you can do this! stop pandering to her. Give her something to really moan about, then the next time you can say, You did nothing but moan the last time you were here, so let's skip all future visits.

PrincessJenga · 25/07/2011 16:41

Why is she coming?

LRDTheFeministDragon · 25/07/2011 16:44

Call her bluff - she says she can't work out the train, then tell her 'oh, yes, you're right, a train or a taxi are probably both 12 pounds, either is fine'. Deny all understanding of the difference. She can only argue if she admits she does know about train travel.

Heifer · 25/07/2011 17:05

Well,,, she is your mum. It would be nice if you could go out of your way to help her..

How about you catching the train with your DC and meet her then catch the train back again with her?

Disclaimer. My parents have both passed away and were lovely, so I may well have rose tinted glasses on and would want to help.

I hate having to catch another train locally when I know someone could have picked me up..

2rebecca · 25/07/2011 17:07

I'd offer to pay for the taxi.

AbbyAbsinthe · 25/07/2011 18:48

Seriously? She's probably looking forward to her visit, and thinks that you are too, so she wouldn't expect to make her own way there after the train journey. My mum drives me nuts, but I WALK to the station to meet her every time she visits - and I would expect the same in return... It's only polite, isn't it?

That said, the idea of having my mum to stay for a whole week fills me with dread Grin

youarekidding · 25/07/2011 19:05

YANBU. My mum would never ask for fear us us thinking her old and incapable. Grin

If I visit someone I would get myself as near as I could with public transport. It's hardly your fault the trains delayed.

Original poster
mosschops30 · 25/07/2011 20:09

Ha ha, i wonder where some of you live (greendale?) where i can just ring the station and ask for someone to help my mum Hmm

Anyway she got the other train so all was well.

So farshe has commented on my weight, what i feed dh (not enough), not eaten dinner apart from a couple of mouthfuls saying she had a poor apetite then sent dd to the shop for kitkats Hmm.

Taking her to the hotel shortly, oh the excitement (i am a member at the healthclub there so have already briefed them lol).

Wish me luck Smile

OP posts:
ProcrastinatorGeneral · 25/07/2011 20:19

Small mercies mosschops, there is a hotel! Luck for the rest of the week!

ChristinedePizan · 25/07/2011 20:21

She sounds a real delight :o

smallpotato · 25/07/2011 20:21

Think yourself lucky she even got the 1st train! My MIL is coming soon and DH has to do a SIX HOUR round trip to collect her from a random service station (FIL will drive 2 hours to drop her off there) because she won't catch a direct train alone and won't drive alone.

Original poster
mosschops30 · 25/07/2011 21:35

smallpotato thats awful, how do they get to be so friggin helpless?

She did have a bit of cats bum face at the hotel as no biscuits in the room, but was pleased with all the pillows because she cant sleep with just 2 so hopefully its balanced out.
She asked me to show her how to work the door Hmm and show her the staircase because she wont want touse the lift alone!
Oh and hilariously in the car telling me that shes feeling a bit funny at the moment (hot, cold, faint, agitated, so really specific stuff) she said 'you get to a point where you feel so bad that you wouldnt really care of you died, and i feel like that' Hmm
really? I work on itu ffs where people are really fucking sick and some strive to get better and some just dont, but they are really ill, they dont feel a bit faint ffs god she makes me Angry

OP posts:
ProcrastinatorGeneral · 25/07/2011 21:51
HerHissyness · 25/07/2011 21:58

Wine Wine Wine Wine Wine Wine Wine Wine for mosschops Grin

rainbowtoenails · 25/07/2011 22:12

It sounds like she has an anxiety disorder. Maybe you should post in mental health. If shes ill you should be supporting her recovery not poking fun at her.

CardyMow · 25/07/2011 23:23

It's not poking fun at her, it's offloading some of the frustrations of growing up with a parent like this. Unless you've been on the receiving end of this, you can't possibly comment, rainbowtoenails.

iscream · 26/07/2011 05:04

"hot, cold, faint, agitated"
Menopause?

Gonzo33 · 26/07/2011 05:34

mosschops, I feel for you I really do. Only it isn't my mother that is the issue it is my grandmother. Although mother is starting to get like that!

and EuphemiaMcGonagall I think we have an in-law in common...Grin

silverten · 26/07/2011 07:55

Oh FGS 'anxiety disorder'! Its a fun way to get everyone's attention.

(sorry rainbowtoenails am honestly not having a go at you personally here)

Some people just like to moan and pretend they are incapable of the most trivial things in order to be centre of attention. My MIL is like this. Quite capable when she wants to be but utterly useless when she turns her mind to it.

Just ignore it, OP. If you pander to this ridiculous behaviour it will only get worse!

hester · 26/07/2011 07:59

I'm getting raised blood pressure just reading your posts, mosschops. I keep having to remind myself to breathe, she's not my mother...

Good luck this week Grin

Original poster
mosschops30 · 26/07/2011 09:12

Yes rainbow its part of her narcissistic/dependent thing, its very frustrating and when youve listened to it for 30 years its very tiresome.
Off to the hotel in a mo, have booked her in for a facial this morning so hopefully that will perk her up!

OP posts:
wakeupandsmellthecoffee · 26/07/2011 10:22

hey maybe you can bribe them to strangle her at the same time .

biddysmama · 26/07/2011 10:39

if she will struggle to buy a ticket can she not just get on the train and buy one from the conducter?

Original poster
mosschops30 · 26/07/2011 19:09

Its been ok today she slept well yay and breakfast was lovely yay Smile

She did piss me off tonight when dd said she wanted to stay in the hotel with her tonight so she could have breakfast, i reminded her that she couldnt because she has her paper round and my mother said 'cant she just phone in sick' Hmm
ive taken her to town, made her lunch and dinner and now dd is painting her toes cos she 'cant do them herself'

Im extremely jumpy, short tempered and moody. Why does she make me feel this way, i find her visits very stressful

OP posts:
Original poster
mosschops30 · 27/07/2011 15:58

Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrgggghhhhhh Angry is all i can say.
See thread in chat about eating out.
Roll on friday!

OP posts:
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