to wonder what is so wrong with being 'judgey'?

[BornInAfrica]

As far as I can tell it's human nature. If you deny that you judge you are at best deluded and at worst a bit of a liar. Judging is our inbuilt self defence mechanism surely?

I think people who claim to 'not judge' are basically spineless twats who are too scared to voice an opinion in case someone doesn't like them afterwards.

People judge others all the time for different reasons

I agree it's human nature

Then again, some people won't admit to ever having had a wank, so what can you do?

...or people who claim to not judge, know that life is not black and white but a zillion shades of grey. They don't presume to know what goes on in other people's lives. Those who voice opinions really readily and loudly often do so from the position of knowing Jack Shit - or is that being judgemental?

I judge purely for fun. It's like imagining what I will do if I win the lottery. Fun, in my head, and never to be repeated in a way that will influence the thoughts/opinions of others.

You're absolutely right worra. Funny as fuck and very right!

I agree Dione - it can be done in your head for fun but who ever decided we cannot vocalise our judgements? I find it all rather odd.

this is about Amy Winehouse threads? saw you getting a hard time.

Very judgemental Belle but I will defend to the death your right to be so.

It's not so much judging as the constant need to make themselves feel better by looking down on others that I think is horrible. And you do see it. It's a big difference between 'personally I wouldn't do that' and 'you're to be looked down on for doing that'

at worraliberty!

People who claim that they never ever ever judge, no matter what the situation, are either liars, stupid or total sociopaths who don't care about anyone.

Some things should be judged.

Judge another parent for giving their child a fruitshoot - twat
Fail to judge another parent for kicking their child round the kitchen - twat

It's not about whether you judge, it's about what you judge.

No Tiffany - not absolutely. I wouldn't call that a hard time - I'd call that the Wet Wank massive out in force being ever so non judgey. I expect they get points for it!

I revel in like judging but dislike being judged

It's easy to judge at face value, but once you know the reasons behind why they're doing whatever it is, it's usually pretty understandable.

It's challenging your own judgyness.

Some people judge because they are smug imo and can't empathise with the situation they are criticising.

zukiecat....its ok i understand without translation lol

See I don't think being judgey is necessarily about looking down at anyone - unless they are blatently lying or doing something socially unacceptable. Anyway - we are all judged all day long by all manner of people who have no bearing whatever on our actual lives.

I've never had a wank!

I do vocalise, but again not in a way that would colour the opinion of someone else. Judging allows me to indulge my shallow bitchy side and should not be mistaken for anything serious.

I would say its a bit pointless posting on a forum if you are going to sit on the fence dithering, too scared to voice an opinion.

And thats all judging is, having an opinion, and everyone is entitled to one mine

Im with agentzigzag - perfectly ok to "judge" but the minute someone judges ME...well thats a different kettle of fish!

@ zukie and "Bailey - Dean"

Aw, I can see you're hurtin' real bad, borninafrica
Course we're all judgey sometimes, love, thing is... (scuse the cliche and all, ...) You get what you give, really.
So, sure you can be judgey and aggressive (you can do what you like - surely we're all for free speech, self regarding activities, and after all MN's only an internet forum, ennit?)
... but perhaps you need to be prepared to take what you give - i.e. if you say stuff that's clearly poorly informed, narrow minded and insensitive, then perhaps you shouldn't be too shocked if tons of other posters express their views in 'direct' terms. (They're just calling a spade a spade - or however you want to put it, no?)

I read what you wrote on the other thread OP, I don't think it's what you said that was the problem, it was the inflammatory way your posts came across.

Totally lacking any compassion for anyone who didn't conform to your standards of behaviour.

I do agree that it's 'what you judge' that's the difference between being honest and a grade A tosser.

Would I judge a parent leaving a sensible 8yr old watching TV while they popped to the shops 5 doors away? - NO

Would I judge a parent leaving a baby to scream while they got pissed and ignored it - YES

And by the way I'm running a book on whether the OP has infact had a wank this evening

Oh trust me tchoo - I ain't hurting! I've got my big girl pants on now and if I give it out I do expect to get it back. I don't mind getting it back. It's part of the deal.
What I do not understand is all this desperation to appear non-judgemental. So you're missing the point and using this as a way of having a spitty little pop at me for the other thread. That's ok - I understand.

Lacking in compassion Agent? I reserve compassion for people who deserve it.

Publish the odds Worra and I'll see what I can do!

Conditional compassion kind of misses the point though doesn't it OP?

If people didn't judge other people, then there would be no civilised society. Quite often it is only the fear of consequence that keeps certain behaviours in check. There would be no consequence to fear, if people genuinely didn't care about other people's behaviour and there was no (almost) universally accepted definition of right and wrong.

Anyone who claims not to judge is a liar.

The important thing is to realise, mid judge, is that relatively few behaviours are set in stone as right/wrong and that your particular judgement about trivial issues shouldn't have any impact on decisions that individuals make for their own lives. You may judge, but you won't necessarily be right unless you are me.