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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Private school or bigger house?

301 replies

joric · 21/07/2011 18:05

Less AIBU more WWYD....

Will keep it short...

60/70k will put DD through private school and we would stay in our modest house
or
we could increase mortgage by same amount and buy a similar standard of house in better area with v good state school nearby.

WWYD?

OP posts:
ChristinedePizan · 21/07/2011 20:35

LDNmummy raises a very good (but weirdly largely unknown) point - state schools have much, much more stringent criteria for employment than independent schools.

I have a friend who is head of art at a very well thought of independent school. She has no teaching qualifications whatsoever. Actually I know several people who teach at public schools who wouldn't have a hope in hell of getting a job in the state sector.

Education is not necessarily better because you're paying for it. It's a common (but understandable) misconception. And remember that you are actually paying for state schools. You don't have to use them obviously but you have paid for them regardless.

spudulika · 21/07/2011 20:36

Should add, that our local private schools have loads of brown faces in. Just (almost) no children from non-graduate families. Or families at the bottom of the income scale.

Malcontentinthemiddle · 21/07/2011 20:37

The bullying issue always makes me laugh as well - this whole notion that private schools will kick the bully out.

It's market forces - the bully's parents' money is as good as yours.
What if the bully has 4 siblings, and his/her parents would pull them all out too?

prudaloo · 21/07/2011 20:38

Many private schoolparents scrimp to pay the fees. I went to a private school because there was no state catholic school for us. My mother, a nurse, worked extra nights to pay fees and there were no luxuries, and few comforts at home. We needed a large quantity of uniform which she paid off over five years. I had an excellent education and mother insists she would do it again at the drop of a hat.

yeahyoucan · 21/07/2011 20:39

Home ed. Save the £70K. Buy DC a house or help them start a business.

Original poster
joric · 21/07/2011 20:40

Spud- your argument is very noble.
I agree that if a school is poorly managed it may not provide a good educational experience for a child. But then schools with disproportionate numbers of disadvantaged children are especially difficult places to work and to manage (because staff are under increased stress).
This is all too familiar to me as I taught in this type of school for 15
Years. Have you first hand experience of these schools?

OP posts:
SpottyFrock · 21/07/2011 20:40

As I said earlier, the cheapest house in catchment went for about 500k with most nearer 1m (not ours) so whilst you could assume they may not be able to afford fees, I don't think this makes for a diverse school experience not when they're all off to rugby, cricket and horse riding after school!

Malcontentinthemiddle · 21/07/2011 20:41

For heaven's sake. Is it a private school education and concominant shelteredness which makes people incapable of understanding that most people, no matter HOW MUCH they scrimped and saved would NOT be able to afford private school fees?

It may be one of the most invidious things about private education, that it churns out people who genuinely think that anyone could afford to do the same if they only ate a few less oven chips, because these people have no idea about the real world and the people in it.

Original poster
joric · 21/07/2011 20:42

Malcon - 70k is not burning a hole in my pocket! We would mortgage it!

OP posts:
Malcontentinthemiddle · 21/07/2011 20:43

Buying a house for £500k (although out of my league!) doesn't mean you have £500K. It might mean yout bought a house for £40k in 1996, sold it for £130k in 2001..... and so on.

Malcontentinthemiddle · 21/07/2011 20:43

(joric - sort of the same point I guess!)

Malcontentinthemiddle · 21/07/2011 20:45

Anyway. A kid spends holidays and weekends and evenings in his/her house. That's where I'd spend the money rather than turning them into a snobby little wanker

ChristinedePizan · 21/07/2011 20:45

Well quite malcontent. I also really loathe this idea of parental sacrifice. It puts a huge amount of unwanted pressure on children. Whatever happened to wanting them to be happy fgs?

floosiemcwoosie · 21/07/2011 20:46

Mal you are making sweeping generalisations.

prudaloo · 21/07/2011 20:46

Christine- you maybe don't read these boards, but that old chestnut is dragged out over and over again. You can work in a state school without a teaching qualification- on a different pay scale. I teach in a private secondary and my children attended a different private one. All the staff in both schools are qualified. It's amazing how folks raising that point always know lots of totally crap, unqualified teachers working in private schools. With reference to the Art teacher, I wouldn't give two hoots, an unqualified teacher in that discipline would probably be excellent.

Original poster
joric · 21/07/2011 20:46

Faire- I DO like option 7! Is a good one.

OP posts:
SpottyFrock · 21/07/2011 20:46

Joric, are you me?
I too taught in schools like that for about 15yrs. Great schools with great staff IMO. It is simply not true that the best schools are in the best areas.

Christine, not all indie schools are lax with this. Many excellent independent schools demand the best quAlified teachers. I was a very well qualified state teacher myself so I wouldn't have sent my kids to school to be taught by teachers less qualified than myself.

floosiemcwoosie · 21/07/2011 20:47

Not all privately educated children turn into snobby little wankers.

Whats's the matter, cant you afford it? is that why you have the massive chip on your shoulder

emsies · 21/07/2011 20:47

I like you malcontent :)

Original poster
joric · 21/07/2011 20:48

Christine - read my previous posts again

OP posts:
Malcontentinthemiddle · 21/07/2011 20:50

Thanks Emsies!

Floosie, no, I don't have a chip on my shoulder, although no, you're probably right, I couldn't afford it - being normal and all that. I'm too rich to be allowed child benefit, apparently, so, god only knows how rich you'd have to be to segregate your child from mine!

I just think private education is wrong.

prudaloo · 21/07/2011 20:51

Why should parental sacrifice make children unhappy? My children realised the value we put on their education and were grateful for the experience they had.
I am fully capable of understanding that basic point, Malcontent, as I had a good education. However, the OP can afford it, if she adjusts her finances in a certain way.

Fairenuff · 21/07/2011 20:51

prudaloo You can work in a state school without a teaching qualification - Er, not as a teacher. Yes, as a teaching assistant, learning support assistant, HLTA, lunctime supervisor, etc. but you can not work as a teacher in a state school unless you are qualified to teach.

Malcontentinthemiddle · 21/07/2011 20:54

faire, you got there before me!

You cannot be a teacher in a state school without being qualified.

SpottyFrock · 21/07/2011 20:54

Joric, are you me?
I too taught in schools like that for about 15yrs. Great schools with great staff IMO. It is simply not true that the best schools are in the best areas.

Christine, not all indie schools are lax with this. Many excellent independent schools demand the best quAlified teachers. I was a very well qualified state teacher myself so I wouldn't have sent my kids to school to be taught by teachers less qualified than myself.