To wonder why more people don't help at PTA events ... and what would encourage more people to do so ...

[onthebus]

In common with many other schools, our PTA had its annual summer fayre a couple of weeks ago. The school has quite a small PTA (about 6 people) and every year for this event they send out a note asking for volunteers for people to help set up/run stalls/clear away. Every year about 2 people volunteer and the PTA then run themselves ragged trying to do everything (and generally failing).

I'm not on the PTA by the way, though I do offer to help, and it strikes me that this really can't be the best way for anyone.

I understand that some people don't help because they are looking after small children/are at work/think the PTA are too scary/just don't want to but I'm really surprised that so few do. I did suggest to PTA members that if they actually asked people rather than sending out a note they might get more helpers but they are loathe to do this.

So ... I think most people appreciate that funds raised by the PTA are worthwhile. If you do/don't help out at PTA events, why is that, and what do you think would encourage you/other people to do so?

not questionable at all.the commonality of experience and anecdotes attest to a pta bullying circle and clique who enjoy exerting themselves

instead of asking why are so many avoidant of and uncomfortable with pta,thus making it as if the majority are meanies. more fruitful to ask why is the same experience replicated across so many pta?why does pta seem to be choc a block with bullies who demean other parents and bemoan non participation.

I used to be omn the committee of my local branch NCT (and ended up as Chair). I did it becasue someone asked me to.

I am not involved with the PTA becasuse no -one has asked me to be and I do not have the confidence to volunteer. I can't make any of the actual events or meeting due to working at weekends and having no childcare inthe evenings.

Newsletters and written requests for help are no where near as good as someone actually asking you face to face if you can do a little manageable job.

The PTA people at my dc's school are all lovely people but they seem incredibly confident and have their own little social circle.

bibbity, totally agree with you with regards to the cheques not appearing.

All those who say they would be quite happy to give £20 instead of actually participating are all talk.
We tried asking for donations this way to pay for new computers at DS1's school. There was a great deal of muttering and cat bum faces in the playground after school that day.
The majority were not pleased although they didn't actually put themselves out to help raise funds any other way. You can't win.

I wouldn't donate towards new computers because that's what taxes should pay for. It would be as ridiculous as asking me to donate toward a teacher's salary. However, if DD needs a recorder or money for an "essential" trip to a castle then I'll pay for that but not keen on paying for the fripperies our PTA squander the money on.

How about £10k for a fourth IT suite, NEH?

We are quite strict about what we will allow PTA money to pay for.

The head recently wanted us to pay for new KS2 books. We refused on the basis that these are basic equipment that should be covered by school budget.

We have funded an adventure playground.

I agree that no-one would actually donate money straight to the school. Load of bollocks. People huff at another three or four quid for a school trip "they're always asking for money"....

Some parents have to feel they chose the most wonderful school for their child(ren) and bully anyone who feels differently. Ptas do not have to be run by bullies, as little as 3 people can change the culture.

Some people do give money to schools in other ways, either by donating items for raffle prizes or as members of a 100/200 club.

If you want other people to help get to know them and then ask for help with something tailored to their circumstances. Examples might be parent working in supermarket - ask employer for raffle prize and/or can they use staff discount to purchase supplies of tea/coffee, larger firm - can they donate raffle prize, "arty" parent - make friendship bracelets or fridge magnets to sell, only able to give a short time - take refreshments round to those who have been there longer. First build your community spirit, then ask for help.

PfftTheMagicDragonhideGloves - but is there a difference between "should" and "will"?

If the school should pay for KS2 books, but won't or can't, then wouldn't those books be a much better use of the money raised from the parents than an adventure playground?

they are called PITA PTA for a reason

I agree with OfftTheMagicDragon re response to books, the school should pay. I am happy to donate but not for basic stuff.

Bibbity I have donated in various ways, and I dont mind donating for larger scale projects that are one off's towards capital purchases but wouldnt like Pfft said for books. I make my voluntay contributions each term, non uniform days, books for restocking the library, charity bags full of stuff which they get money for, pay for various present buying (of the tat variety) from the 'school shop' and stuff for raffle etc.

It is not that I am not prepared to give up my time or not able to, I am simply put off by the impression the PTA mums give at my DS school. It really doesnt help when a neighbour who I see often sometimes speak and does not is on the PTA so I leave them to it.

MoreBeta Thu 21-Jul-11 16:31:42
Incidentally, I would like to be a parent Governor but at DSs school you have to be nominated by someone already on the Governing Body so that is even more of a clique. They never speak or communicate to parents - ever.

MoreBeta I have only got this far in this thread, which I've just found, but I would suggest you check what your Local Authority has to say about parent governors. In our county, ALL parent governors MUST be elected by a ballot of ALL parents of children at that particular school.

I have been a parent governor and have now applied to be a LA governor. As the effectiveness of governors is now reported on as part of the OFSTED report, it is possible the govenors at your DSs school are in for a rude awakening....

Govenors are entirely different to the PTA

I think MoreBeta's children are at private school. Presumably they can make their own rules for governors.

I think people should volunteer and help if they want to and not if they don't . that 's the end of it. How can an adult man or woman be scared of approaching someone on a committee and askign if help is wanted or needed. Also, if more than is manageable is asked for, say no, but offer to do what yuo can. Why shuold PTS people be forced to go individually to each parent to ask for help? Why can't these parents read newsletters and nor=tce boards where help is sought and sign up, why do they need a personal invitation? I am not on PTA or committee as not my thing, butI always volunteer to help on stalls and for cake sales etc. Even if theyare a clique, so what? they will not reject offers of practical help.If a committee memebr is actively rude, and not just perceived to be a bit standoffish then report to head and or governors. This is not actually about the parents' feelings etc, it is about helping schools raise extra funds and also showign yuor kids that volunteerign and helping is generall ya good thing

Sun - but there's a fine line.

A school who thinks that they can get away without paying for the books as they can simply dip into PTA resources when they need to, is different from one who genuinely cannot pay.

But still, this is not a situation you want to be in - when you start paying for those things as a PTA, a precedent is set and before you know it, you're fundraising all year for books.

Thing is pearlym, when you've spent time making up notices to put up asking for new members, when you've spent all afternoon printing letters then putting them in every child's drawer for their parents to collect asking for new members, when you've sent emails to a great chunk of parents asking them to join us, you get to the ppint where you have no choice but to use blackmail.

The apathy towards their own children's education and enjoyment of pre-school is staggering. Wven though they have all been informed that, without extra members, the place will be forced to close, it just does not seem to register.

So yes we do have to doorstep them.

you have no choice but to use blackmail.
really?
such as...
no seriously what do you mean,what tactics would you employ
im pretty tame nowt in my closet to compel me to join pta

What if you were told that, unless further help from more parents was forthcoming, the preschool that you depend on for your child would have to close?

is preeschool LA funded? or is it a voluntary by donation?if so start charging per session

Pre school is a charity. The 3 and 4 year olds are funded, the younger ones pay per session.
The problem isn't that, it's the fact that in order for the pre school to run legally, it needs at least 5 committee members and a Treasurer. We have 4 committee members and no Treasurer!

Have been following with interest....have no knowledge/experience of pre-school committees so can't comment there..

Re the books versus playground equipment debate: I have been on 2 very different PTA committees, one for a primary and one for a junior school. Both have been run along the lines that we are raising money for the school. In each case the head has come to us with a "shopping list" and said that they would like us to provide funds for a, b and c, and if possible d, e..etc. Ie they tell us what they would like, and we go away and raise the money.

I would feel very uncomfortable being on a committee where we told the head that we dd not want to buy something that the school wanted (eg books). It is true that we should not really be paying for these necessities, but if in the school's opinion the books are vital, and the school cannot afford to pay them, then why not ask the PTA?

Our head has just retired and said at her retirement party that one thing she would not miss was the budgetting, ie hours spent figuring out what the school could/ could not afford. I take this as an illustration of how much our school, and therefore other schools are struggling now compared to previously. So personally would not want to deny the school anything they wanted - though realise I may have struck it lucky that the schools I have been involved in have made reasonable manageable requests!

Re getting on with other committee members: I think that in both PTA committees I have felt an outsider, especially initially. It does not help that I am quiet and not at all outspoken. I think I may have been lucky in that there have been no/few bullying types on the committees. It has felt cliquey at times, but I try to ignore that.

Re getting a job to do: I have tended to work out what I can do for the committee that is reasonable/comfortable for me, and then offered to do it. Eg on first committee I was ordinary member for a year, and then became secretary in 2nd year. DS2 was at that stage, aged only 11 months. But I felt that I could do my bit by attending 7 or 8 meetings a year, take minutes and circulate them. I made it clear that I could do no more than that. In the committee I am currently on, I said I could send out "begging letters" for prizes for the forthcoming fete. I made it clear that I was willing to do this because it was something I could do from home in the evenings.

Re events being decided on already: I too went to my first ever committee brimming with ideas for events, only to find that they had a year's worth of things in mind already. I felt gutted. But I soon realised that these were the things that were done most years and they worked. So maybe go along to a couple of meetings to see what's planned, and maybe suggest one more event that could be slotted in - though it may end up that you have to mastermind it!

Finally I have been chair of PTA committee for a year, it has been a long slog, and hard work. But rewarding (though I am not sure if I going to carry on). But I would feel really sad if any of the committee members felt that too much was being asked of them - would prefer them to say that they could not do it, and act accordingly.

Sorry this has turned into a long post - but this thread has been very interesting and given me much food for thought.

Found this thread last night and have made it to page 5. I'm on our schools PTA. I, like all of the other members, work. We are struggling to find new members and we are all finding it hard to devote the time needed to organise and run events. I thought this thread may reveal some useful tips to recruit new members but it appears that most parents find PTAs cliquey, annoying, unnecessary, self serving and generally a PITA. Very depressing and feel like my efforts have been a complete waste of time. Think l'll hang my hat up now. Cheers.

DD was in reception so I innocently volunteered for 2 things this year, I won't be doing it again. The politics and complaining (behind backs) and arguing over relatively simple tasks was mind boggling to me. From now on I will do my bit in terms of donations, but I haven't got the stomach for more volunteering.

How can an adult man or woman be scared of approaching someone on a committee and askign if help is wanted

Because if they are rude to me it makes me feel like crap and frankly I don't want to deal with it. Also, if they are rude I may be rude back and that creates more bad feeling near the school gate.

Because half the time they don't know what is needed & you've got to chase around the schoolyard to find someone who does have a clue; make one feel like a numpty.

Why shuold PTS people be forced to go individually to each parent to ask for help? Why can't these parents read newsletters and nor=tce boards where help is sought and sign up

No notice board. Some kids fail to bring home the letters, too.

they will not reject offers of practical help.

They do, honest to goodness! If they don't like you they are snippy as all heck, or ignore you standing around asking for direction on something they think is obvious (but isn't obvious at all). Or simply ignore. eg: I turned up for a Disco (had told them repeatedly I would come to help out) & asked "What shall I do?" and nobody took charge, nobody said a thing. I wandered around vaguely trailing the PTA chair who never said anything specific about what should I do. I ended up guarding the fire doors (kids sometimes open them) but that was my idea, because head had mentioned previously that it was an issue, nobody on PTA seemed to notice or care that I was there.

If a committee memebr is actively rude, and not just perceived to be a bit standoffish then report to head and or governors.

My gut feeling is that neither head nor govs should be asked to get involved, but perhaps I'm wrong.