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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder why more people don't help at PTA events ... and what would encourage more people to do so ...

409 replies

onthebus · 21/07/2011 13:29

In common with many other schools, our PTA had its annual summer fayre a couple of weeks ago. The school has quite a small PTA (about 6 people) and every year for this event they send out a note asking for volunteers for people to help set up/run stalls/clear away. Every year about 2 people volunteer and the PTA then run themselves ragged trying to do everything (and generally failing).

I'm not on the PTA by the way, though I do offer to help, and it strikes me that this really can't be the best way for anyone.

I understand that some people don't help because they are looking after small children/are at work/think the PTA are too scary/just don't want to but I'm really surprised that so few do. I did suggest to PTA members that if they actually asked people rather than sending out a note they might get more helpers but they are loathe to do this.

So ... I think most people appreciate that funds raised by the PTA are worthwhile. If you do/don't help out at PTA events, why is that, and what do you think would encourage you/other people to do so?

OP posts:
manitz · 22/07/2011 15:11

hi, i am sorry i couldn't read all 12 pages but I can see why pta seen as clique. I am on one and try and volunteer where I can, have 3 kids inc one pre school and 4th on way. when i ask others to volunteer am often told they can't cos of the baby yet most people have young children and will manage. the reason i do it is because our school is good but doesn't have a lot of extras - bad buildings/small grounds and no facilities for sports. i'd love to be able to add to my kids experience if poss and i enjoy the social stuff - quiz night and my kids lke the fair and family bingo. The community spirit definitely helps our school which is made up of loads of diverse cultural groups but has a lovely friendly feel about it.

I think it's hard to get volunteers because you do get asked then turn up and aren't really needed sometimes and that puts you off doing it again, because of the cliquey feel to it and because sometimes it's not clear what we are raising money for (which is pretty frustrating). i think if the benefits can be clarified more people may volunteer. all the committees I've been on at work or in the community have been cliquey at first but then you get to know people and they are just normal.

Greatdomestic · 22/07/2011 15:20

Crikey, a lot of negative experiences of the PTA do gooders here. I am currently a member of my DCs pta and work full time.

There are approx 10 committee members and ime all have been welcoming to new members - it's the only approach to ensure that parents who have not been involved want to do so.

I don't always get to meetings, depends on my dhs shift pattern but try to when I can. However ime there is such a lot of apathy/negativity towards the PTA. thoughts of scary clique seem to be the biggest concern, but ours at the moment is not a bunch of close friends. another preconception seems to be that parents think someone else will do it - cover the stall/man the doors at the disco etc.

My experience so far has been positive and at the moment I have the time to do it.

BeerTricksPotter · 22/07/2011 15:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Greenshadow · 22/07/2011 15:27

Can I recommend that those with older children give their secondary school PTA a go.

You don't get the groups of friends (aka cliques) that you might find at primary schools as parents don't all meet up at the school gate every day.

They are often desperate for help - most parents are back at work by this stage and it's often harder to get the PTA message across.

BeerTricksPotter · 22/07/2011 15:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kladdkaka · 22/07/2011 15:49

Now for my positive contribution Shock. Kladdkaka's 10 commandments for PTAs:

  1. When someone volunteers to help, give them something to do and keep them busy. Volunteers do not come back if they spend their time hanging round like a lemon.
  1. Give the more enjoyable jobs to the newcomers.
  1. Raise funds for a specific purpose and clearly show progress towards it eg chart in reception
  1. Organise activities within the scale of your numbers. All day on splat a rat is too much. If you can't man the stalls with a shift change for those that want it, have fewer stalls not harder working volunteers.
  1. Give the quieter volunteers the chance to speak at meetings and listen to what they have to say. You may be surprised.
  1. Keep your meetings on point and to a minimum. Nobody wants to give up their time to be bored stupid with endless waffle.
  1. No bitchin!
  1. No nickin!
  1. No bitchin! (Needs saying twice)
  1. Once a term have a piss up social of some discription for all the volunteers just for fun.
stealthsquiggle · 22/07/2011 16:05

PTA at DC's school is all SAHMs and meetings are all during school hours - which I can appreciate works best for them, but also excludes WOHPs completely.

When asked, I bake for events. That is probably, realistically, as much as I have time for, so it is best left that way.

pingu2209 · 22/07/2011 16:41

catgirl, you have come across as quite a nasty person in this thread. All you seem to want to do is slate people who help their school by helping the PTA fundraise. Any idea and thought PTA members have given on this thread you have taken and twisted so that it is somehow negative.

How on earth can anyone deem another person helping at the PTA to raise funds to help the children's experience at the school. As well as building a community through fun events, be a bad thing?

BeerTricksPotter · 22/07/2011 16:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

plus3 · 22/07/2011 17:06

I live in a fairly well-off area and there is a huge assumption that the school is also well off. It's not - it has a good reputation that has pushed up property prices (unfortunately, but that's a different thread...)

The teachers on the PTA are always complaining of how much of their own money they spend on classroom essentials, the headteacher has already earmarked the 'projected' profitfor the next year for either IT kit, outdoor classrooms, new PE kit with school name on it etc.... This was all completely new to me at the first PTA meeting I attended.

As for the idea of just giving a donation so you don't have to bother attending the events....what's stopping you?? Do you do it without being asked?

We did start a newsletter to feed back to parents what the money was to be spent on - alot of people didn't believe us that we have very little say in where the money goes...

Our last PTA was almost on it's knees due to it's attitude (they weren't very friendly...) and we have worked hard to change that attitude, but ultimately people either want to help or they don't. Smile

BeerTricksPotter · 22/07/2011 17:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

plus3 · 22/07/2011 17:16

The last chair would stand outside the gates loudly slating all parents 'who couldn't be fucking bothered to help' to another member....she was amazed that nobody would volunteer...!!!

Ours is a lovely school and we run some nice events that build real character and community spirit into the place.

After every event an email is sent out, and a poster put up thanking everyone for making the event a success - both in terms of help and attendance, and how much money was raised. I think it is helping [smile}

piprabbit · 22/07/2011 17:16

"As for the idea of just giving a donation so you don't have to bother attending the events....what's stopping you?? Do you do it without being asked? " - good point plus3

BeerTricksPotter · 22/07/2011 17:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dreamingofsun · 22/07/2011 17:21

i get 2 afternoons off work each week when i try and catch up on all the jobs. one week i volunteered to help at the school for the PTA instead. Rushed my lunch (fairly standard i know) and arrived at allotted time and had to wait AN HOUR before anyone had the decency to turn up and tell us what to do, and even then no apology and took ages to allocate jobs.

i don't have that sort of time to waste sitting around doing nothing - so first and only time i bothered.

catgirl1976 · 22/07/2011 17:24

pingu I have not meant to come off as nasty and have in fact been agreeing with many posters on positive points on the PTA.

I did however find your posts pretty sanctimonious and annoying, as you made it sound like the school depended on your hard work for its very existence and saying things like "the PTA pays for all the arts, history etc side" is just ridicoulous. I am sure the money raised by the PTA is very useful but doubt the school would be unable to deliver the full curriculum without it.

You stated that anyone who worked full time wouldn't be able to be a full member of your PTA which I found to be probably the answer to the OPs question as to what could be done to attract more volunteers and clealry highlights one of the problem..

Other people contribute - not just the PTA. It wouldn't hurt you to acknowlege that.

jellybeans · 22/07/2011 17:29

I don't because they are cliquey and some of them just ignore you even if you try to join in. But I do help on school trips and by spending a fortune at the events they put on so i don't feel a jot guilty.

plus3 · 22/07/2011 17:43

Our current chair works full time & thrives on being busy... I work part time yet sometimes struggles to find time to help. It's always nice to remember that what works for one person doesn't always suit another.... But that requires a certain amount of tolerance and commen sense!

unfitmother · 22/07/2011 18:56

It was in the 'Diary of an Unfitmother' column in the Daily Telegraph that I first heard of the Mumfia. Grin
They're all in the PTA at our school reserving seats for each other in the front row - when they're not singing in the PTA 'choir'.

scottishmummy · 22/07/2011 19:18

i take joy in sitting in a reserved for pta big heid
worth getting there early for
as their pal splutter and struggle and hint that well thats pta seats because they are spesh.

BeerTricksPotter · 22/07/2011 19:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scottishmummy · 22/07/2011 19:38

well not formally bit its all hinted and a well placed LV bag, a padhmina aacross chair.you get the picture.
all easily brushed aside as i plant my bahookie down

floosiemcwoosie · 22/07/2011 20:05

I bet they love you SM

scottishmummy · 22/07/2011 20:07

feeling is entirely mutual
of course i relish that sit where i please moment.as they cant legitimately challenge it can they

floosiemcwoosie · 22/07/2011 20:12

I can just imagine the mumblings, dirty looks and teeth gritting!