To wonder why more people don't help at PTA events ... and what would encourage more people to do so ...

[onthebus]

In common with many other schools, our PTA had its annual summer fayre a couple of weeks ago. The school has quite a small PTA (about 6 people) and every year for this event they send out a note asking for volunteers for people to help set up/run stalls/clear away. Every year about 2 people volunteer and the PTA then run themselves ragged trying to do everything (and generally failing).

I'm not on the PTA by the way, though I do offer to help, and it strikes me that this really can't be the best way for anyone.

I understand that some people don't help because they are looking after small children/are at work/think the PTA are too scary/just don't want to but I'm really surprised that so few do. I did suggest to PTA members that if they actually asked people rather than sending out a note they might get more helpers but they are loathe to do this.

So ... I think most people appreciate that funds raised by the PTA are worthwhile. If you do/don't help out at PTA events, why is that, and what do you think would encourage you/other people to do so?

I joined the pta. I was really keen....at first.....!
The comittee was made up of good friends. But, when they got round the table, it was hell. There were 2 or 3, (usually non working mothers) who monopolised everything. Diaries out, ive done this, this, this and this, I want this done that way, and I want you to do all the shitty donkey work whilst I take all the credit! Us minions rarely got a word in edgeways, were never listened to when we did, and got very disheartened. Especially when others came up with our ideas at the next meeting and were applauded! At one event, I was encouraged to put my name to all the legal type insurance and liability documents, and was then told there wasnt anything else for me to do! The problem is, these comittees get taken over by control freaks, and then its no fun. And as for volunteering, when the control freaks plan too many events, and the demand for help and donations come almost weekly, people get fed up.

FoundWanting, oh I see, it's totally dumped on you. @ Splat the Rat.

A reluctant PTA chair here!

Hard to know what to say really, but I don't think we are scary or cliquey. I spoke at the new parents' evening last week for a few minutes, in an attempt to get new parents to join the committee next term. I was absolutely petrified - speaking in public does not come naturally, or easily to me. We had 4 "newcomers" put down their name as "helpers" - but none willing, as this stage, to be committee members.

I do it because I want to be "part" of DS2's school. I do not want to go and help in classes, so have opted to help out at fundraising, hence joining PTA comittee 3 years ago, and landing the role of chair this year.

To be honest (and I don't want to put any would-be PTA committee members off) it has been a truly miserable time. I consider the committee members all get on reasonably well, though we are not sufficiently friendly to be considered a "clique (IMO). It has been a struggle to get committee members and helpers to commit to helping at events.

I did once ask the mum of DS2's best friend (with whom I get on v well) if she could do an hour on a stall, and she jsut gasped "no" in horror. Am not sure why, and did not feel able to ask.

PTA events can be really cliquey. If you want to widen participation, you need to work on building relationships with parents all year round.

It can be really helpful to have one or two parents per class who can pass information on and enthuse other parents. You can then work on activities where parents can participate as a class, eg by having a class table at a quiz night. Lots of booze helps.

Putting together a directory of email addresses and phone numbers means that everyone gets invited to everything and don't fall under the radar screen.

With a school fete, the best thing is to use your children for their nag power. If they were to have a, for example, choir performance on the day, parents will come to watch.

I'm with all those who hate all the fundraising. Isn't schooling supposed to be state funded? And yet parents are forever being asked for more money for this and that. We keep being told that funds raised by PTAs make all the difference but I actually think this is the wrong attitude. Why are we never satisfied?

The reason I don't do it is because I mostly find it a completely useless waste of time and money as a fundraising entity. So for example, they wanted to send our lot to the local country park so needed minibus, driver, lunch, entry fees etc. It was about £25/child which I know would be a massive problem for some of the kids and it would be completely mortifying to ask "Who can afford to pay?"....Despite the fact that a fair chunk of the parents wouldn't mind paying.

So they needed about £500 which they proposed to raise by doing school fair type thing - asking everyone to do baking (cakes sold at 50p when realistically to make them would cost £1 each etc.), asking people to give up an afternoon to man stalls, raffling prizes which were actually worth way in excess of what the raffle raised. And then there is the endless battle over getting people to do what they said they would without 43 different meetings over pointless things...

If everyone willing just put their hands in their pockets and handed over the cash they were prepared to spend on providing time/cakes/prizes, they'd have raised about twice the total needed without any of the stupid meetings. Sigh!!

ibbydibby I think thats the problem, if another mum doesn't want do something, why do you need to know why? This is exactly why as I mentioned earlier our PTA can't get younger parents, they both work, have 2-3 kids, are running around like headless chickens like everyone else and donot want to have to explain to someone why they don't want to do something.

ive just been at a friends house whos on the pta and they put out these questionaires to all the parents at the school (i didnt get one :() and the feeling was the PTA was too white middle class. also apparently there are hge argments and bitchyness, i cant imagine everyone at this school seems to nice. bit too nice.

To whoever asked when the right day/time is, im not being ackward, its on tuesday once a month, twice a month on a tues i have religious teaching circle, the other i attend a local political party (that a miss twice a month to make room for the circle). I also like to go salsa dancing occassionally also only on tuesdays, what ever i chose to do it has to be after i finish work at 8pm.

so no time really, which is a shame as i would love to help

I woul dprobably join the PTA but in DD's current school and the last one they insist on having meetings during the day which I can't do. Never been asked to help though.

Just read the rest of the thread. There is definitely a pattern about the perception of cliquiness.

I don't think PTAs mean to be cliquey, or that other parents don't care. A lot of parents do care but they are scared of getting involved, can't get involved, or would be happier just giving £20.

One of the reason people are scared is that when they do dip their toe in the water, they are suddenly out of their depth. They had an idea of wrapping tombola prizes and find that they are now responsible for contacting local estate agents begging for freebies. They might be very good at that, but next year. PTA leaders need to listen to new volunteers and pace what they can do. They are in school for 7 years+ - there is no need to bleed them dry in the first year.

wigglesrock I think I would jsut be interested to know why so that if it is something that can be fixed, we can at least attempt to do this. I only asked the mum concerned if she would do an hour, at a time when her DH would be with her at the fete, with her 2 children aged 8 and 6. I just thought she was a good enough friend for me to be able to ask her, and was a bit shocked by the extent of her reaction.

After our recent school fair, we had a lot of very positive feedback, and there was a lovely community feel about the whole thing. Mainly because this year each class had their own stall as well as us running our usual BBQ/bar etc. The class stalls meant that the children were there, and so their parents were there.

Re doing jobs you don't want to do - I think if you don't want to do something you say so. Someone did that on our committee this year (ringing up local businesses to see if they would advertise in programme). She thought she could do it, then decided she couldn't. That was fine, and I was pleased that she felt able to say this. Someone else took it on, otherwise we would not have had a usual sponsored programme, we would have just had a single A4 sheet - that is also fine.

I am beginning to think more and more that I am one big mug for bothering though....

I used to help at playgroup fundraising events many many years ago. There was one woman who could never help because "she had a baby". It was ages before I found out that her baby was (a) 6 months older than my baby and (b) the youngest of 2, while mine was the youngest of 4 (we had 4 under 6).

I lost my enthusiasm for putting myself out after that.

i resigned from PTA in protest at their lack of democracy

but i still help

i don't help at brownies though

mainly because the thought of a room full of other peoples scary little girls frightens the bejesus out of me

and i have 2 dds

hats off to brown owl

our pta meets evenings only, in a pub.
And the events are evenings and weekends. Cant do either.

But before dd2 was born, years back, I did my stint.

I love being a PTA member and I think it's fairly well appreciated in our school. Sometimes we could do with a bit more of the T in the PTFA, but it's got better recently. I do understand how busy teachers are though. It is dispiriting when parents come along to meetings just for a moan at (quite minor IMHO) things about the school- I tell them to go to a Governor's surgery :). I suppose it could be seen as quite cliquey, but we try to communicate well with parents - Parentmail, facebook, school website, letters, face to face, school blackboard/noticeboard. And we get new parents every year coming along to meetings or joining the committee.

Though we seem to get the same faces and at times have trouble convincing people to help out at times generally, financially we do quite well and don't have trouble getting cakes/bottles/sweets/money from parents. I think some parents don't help out as a lot of people aren't confident enough to put themselves outside their comfort zone, or think it will take more time than they imagine, or that they will get roped in to more than they can manage, or feel they have just too many other things going on, which I can understand perfectly. Very few, I think, don't care.

Recently we have helped fund quite a large project at the school which will provide lasting, visible benefit for pupils so I think what we do has been reinforced. We have a new headteacher starting in Sept who seems very supportive, so I'm optimistic.

For me personally, though organising events can be hard work, I find it so absorbing it kind of helps me manage stress from work - I totally switch off from work and think about what I'm doing. My parents were never involved with the school and were never there as they both worked. Looking back I always felt 'on my own' at school, being an only child too, most kids had siblings or parents around. That's where my motivation comes from, I may work (practically) fully time but if I get to know other parents through helping out I think it helps my DDs feel more supported at school.

DH has just become a Governor as well, so I do feel particularly sharp-elbowed! I would encourage anyone to be involved how you can though, particularly say, SAHPs who have been out of the workplace for a number of years, it could give you the confidence and experience to be able to get a job if you wanted to, or open up opportunities you never imagined. It has for me, and I am still working. Also you can put into place the skills you gained through working, our Treasurer used to be an accountant, for example.

I joined the PTA at my DS's school. It was very cliquey. The Chair was a very abrasive woman. The other PTA members were married couples, friends and had known each other for a long time. I was largely ignored during meetings.

I left after a short while and became a Parent Governor instead.

I later learned that the PTA spent a lot of time moaning about all the work they had to do, but also learned that I wasn't the first person to join and then leave so in their case, they only had themselves to blame!

Sprog therein lies the problem, we do try to get a list of people who are interested to help out, but very few sign up (though we don't ask them to name specific tasks that they could do and maybe that is where we go wrong).

After our summer fete this year, one parent told a teacher that he would have willingly helped, but did not realise we needed help. However we sent 2 letters home requesting help, and a further plea for help was included in the school newsletter, which is received by email by all parents who sign up for email, paper copy otherwise.

I do sympathise with those of you who have had bad experiences, I have been on PTA committees in the past where some members have been rude/abrasive/cliquey etc. But I just try to stand my ground and make it clear what I am willing/able to do. If I felt that this was badly received, I woudl have resigned (or, on a brave day, argued my point). But fortunately have never had to do this.

Really want to stand down from committee, but worry about who is going to take it forward - we are losing so many this year. We have not raised huge amounts of money this year, but know that we we have received has been hugely apppreciated by the school.

Insomnia brilliant post!

I wonder how many dont even think about being a "clique" but are simply getting on with things as there is always a lot to do especially if parents aren't forthcoming with help.

Its a shame that people dont want to help, given it can only enhance their childs time at school yet they are quite happy to sit back and let their children benefit from others hard work.

Frankly. The PTA is full of stuck up snobs that I avoid like the plague. I can't abide all the pretentious fakery they elude. I would rather stick pins in my eye than try and think of shit ways to rip people of and call it fundraising.

Our PTA are a really nice bunch of women, and one very keen perfectionist (but very nice) leader type woman who does 75% of the work because she genuinley loves doing it. Her kids aren't even in the school anymore, its kind of her hobby!
They have the core group of class reps and a few others who attend meetings etc, and then they have a list of about 10 of us mums who don't get involved in any meetings but just turn up to run a stall or something. There is also a gang of about 5 dads who turn up to do the heavy lifting.

As with the school 'walking bus' service and 'drop and go', it is always the same faces helping at everything - there is not one parent with kids in the 1st 3 years of the school who have EVER helped.

It is all very informal and not at all cliquey - they are always asking for more volunteers, but I have noticed in the last year or 2 no one ever does. I wonder why this is?

I never get involved with the PTA's at school. I work full time and do not have any time to "donate". I often attend school events and donate financially but my time at home is precious and I don't want to spend it with other school parents I'm affraid.