Ok, I haven't said anything either way about this one yet, because I can't decide whether my initial reaction is UR or not, so please be kind but honest.
My DD is having a birthday party this weekend. She wanted to invite a few girls from school and that's all, so I have spent hours planning a really good party, of which DD approves wholeheartedly. There are a lot of craft activities, plus an outside trip somewhere in the local woods to collect natural craft materials etc for the tasks. I've also planned a task in the woods. I've a rainy day itinerary planned that includes going to a playplace part way through if the outside activities can't go ahead. In short, it's going to be quite tightly planned and the activities quite structured.
Anyway, my DD only wanted school friends. However, she is good friends with another girl who has recently been adopted by my cousin. She has known this girl all her life as her mother and I were close friends and it was me who introduced her mother to my cousin. My DD and this little girl fall out alot and have a rather possessive friendship, a bit like sisters.
My Dh and I'd initially decided to stick to just school friends for DD to avoid any awkwardness on the day between children not knowing other children etc. I thought I'd take my friend's DD out for the day with us instead so they could have 1:1 time.
Anyway, I was telling my friend/cousin's wife this and she indicated that my DD would be invited to her DD's party in a few weeks, so I felt obliged to invite her DD to my DD's bash. (Keep up! Ha ha). She said they were totally free the day we were planning to have the party.
Fastforward a week and I hand her the invite for that day. Suddenly, she needs to pick up her DD an hour before the party ends because they have an arrangement that was made months ago that it would be "rude" to be late for. Normally, I wouldn't mind, but I've got a really structured event planned and have spent a lot of money and time on activities for the kids. Plus, if it rains I'll have to swap to my rainy day plan and I don't want to have to be worrying about phoning her and letting her know that we've decamped to Macdonalds or that we haven't got back from the woods yet etc etc. I want to focus on the stuff I have planned. I just know my friend'll turn up in the middle of some activity that I'm running and need me to get all her DD's stuff together, find the partybag, her cardy, her shoes etc and meanwhile leave the kids hanging as to what they're doing. I just feel that to leave a party an hour before the end when the host has gone to a lot of trouble with crafts and timings etc is just not on. My friend always puts the entire world and its wife before any arrangements she makes with me anyway and thinks nothing of cancelling us when she's double booked herself. I think this is the rub - that we're always fitting in with her and that we're frequently being let down by her because she's said she'll be elsewhere at a time she said she'd meet us. I know she's scatty, but still - why are we always the last priority for her? AIBU to suggest that she doesn't bring her DD if she's going to leave in the middle of a party? It's cost me over a hundred quid this thing and I'm darned if I'm going to have the flow of it screwed up looking for shoes, cardies and stuff...I think I'm also a bit hurt because of the way my friend treats me though, so I may be BU. What do you think?