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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to slap this woman into next Tuesday??

107 replies

Rosierubies · 19/07/2011 19:26

I'm furious, mum at school when observing the father of a child in our childrens class parking up (in a very nice car) to collect 'oh look at his car,' glance away 'i'll just say it shall I, drug dealer' (exaggerated whisper) WTF!!! Incidently this guy is also the father of one of the few black children in our school, he also favours a casual clothing style...he is also really nice and my dh's barber. I can only think that this is stereotyping on racial grounds and I'm furious, it's alright for her to own a 600k house but not for him to have a 30k car. I want to report it as a racist incident at school and chuck something at her would that bu?

OP posts:
LynetteScavo · 19/07/2011 19:28

YANBU.

But I think I should become a barber.

ThatllDoPig · 19/07/2011 19:30

YANBU Maybe it was the ramblings of a junkie, wishful thinking ?!

Original poster
Rosierubies · 19/07/2011 19:30

He owns the business, has worked very hard for lots of years.

OP posts:
catgirl1976 · 19/07/2011 19:30

She sounds like an idiot. I don't think you can really report it as a racist incident as she will no doubt deny any intentions along those lines but she does sound pretty horrendous. I would ignore her tbh...

Fairenuff · 19/07/2011 19:32

YANBU that is how horrible malicious rumours get started Shock

HairyGrotter · 19/07/2011 19:32

I'd have pulled her up on her idiotic way of thinking and assumptions, but then that might be why I'm not overly popular come collecting time.

DogsBestFriend · 19/07/2011 19:32

My hairdresser friend has a lovely new M3. He must be a drug dealer too.

Oh. No. Hang on a moment. He can't be.

He's white and we all know that only black people are drug dealers, don't we?

Original poster
Rosierubies · 19/07/2011 19:33

Another parent heard too so I have a witness, but (and more to the point) shouldn't we all feel duty bound to challenge this sort of behaviour when we see it??

OP posts:
catgirl1976 · 19/07/2011 19:33

Out of interest - what kind of car was it?

catgirl1976 · 19/07/2011 19:34

Did you challege it? I think it would have been better to say something at the time than report to the school, but of course hindsight is a wonderful thing

Original poster
Rosierubies · 19/07/2011 19:35

Hairygrotter- I was so cross it was going to be tears and snot at the school gates, plus I had my two pre-schoolers in tow - excuses I know but I don't want to be that mum who starts fights in the playground.

OP posts:
Andrewofgg · 19/07/2011 19:36

YANBU to be disgusted but life is too short to report everything which is disgusting.

OldRedEyes · 19/07/2011 19:36

so she didnt mention colour whatsoever, but in your mind drugdealer = black?

hmmmm perhaps we should all report you OP

Lou222 · 19/07/2011 19:37

but (and more to the point) shouldn't we all feel duty bound to challenge this sort of behaviour when we see it??

but you didn't, did you?

catgirl1976 · 19/07/2011 19:38

Something about BMWs seems to say drugdealer to some people so it might genunely have been the car, not the colour of the person driving it (and I am not slagging BM's as I have one)

ButWhyIsTheGinGone · 19/07/2011 19:38

Hmmm. You'd have trouble reporting it as a racist incident, but it's obviously a slur against his colour. Ugggh. I'd just give a withering look and keep my distance from clueless people like this.

Original poster
Rosierubies · 19/07/2011 19:38

Also my family is mixed race (dh is black) and so this is very very personal...possible explains why I couldn't gain the control to speak. My husband wears a suit and drives a people carrier so of course he can't be a drug dealer!

OP posts:
DeWe · 19/07/2011 19:40

I think I'm missing something. I don't get where it's racist? I thought it was a comment on the having money to spend on a "nice" car.

Original poster
Rosierubies · 19/07/2011 19:40

Oldredeyes - would you say then that in a sea of expensive cars the single non White driver being singles out as a potential drug dealer is not as the result of racist stereotypes?

OP posts:
catgirl1976 · 19/07/2011 19:41

It could be the result of racist stereotypes but it may have been the car

Hatesponge · 19/07/2011 19:42

You should have said something there and then really. It needn't have been anything overly confrontational, just a one liner then walk away.

I'd avoid her from now on tbh and if she pulls you up on it, tell her you didnt think the comment was appropriate and it made feel uncomfortable, or something like that.

I have to say round here you have to be driving a £90k car before anyone assumes you're a dealer....

Original poster
Rosierubies · 19/07/2011 19:44

Hatesponge, your drug dealers must be far more successful than ours! Actually in reality it's a pretty quiet area.

OP posts:
DogsBestFriend · 19/07/2011 19:45

Catgirl, it was me who mentioned a BM, not the OP, and with reference to it being the vehicle of choice of my white hairdresser friend.

catgirl1976 · 19/07/2011 19:46

Sorry - I just think its possible she wasn't being racist but commenting on a car that she thought was a bit naff / flash or something - and some cars do seem to have that connotation more than others for some reason.

TheMonster · 19/07/2011 19:47

I agree with those that said there was no mention of colour. Sounds just like jealousy at the nice car to me.