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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to slap this woman into next Tuesday??

107 replies

Rosierubies · 19/07/2011 19:26

I'm furious, mum at school when observing the father of a child in our childrens class parking up (in a very nice car) to collect 'oh look at his car,' glance away 'i'll just say it shall I, drug dealer' (exaggerated whisper) WTF!!! Incidently this guy is also the father of one of the few black children in our school, he also favours a casual clothing style...he is also really nice and my dh's barber. I can only think that this is stereotyping on racial grounds and I'm furious, it's alright for her to own a 600k house but not for him to have a 30k car. I want to report it as a racist incident at school and chuck something at her would that bu?

OP posts:
BrianAndHisBalls · 19/07/2011 19:49

my brother has a 'drug dealer's car' as we tell him all the time, huge thing with blacked out windows, its a bmw x5 (according to dp). Does this mean we're stereotyping 'along racist lines'?? My brother and I are both white btw.

PlentyOfPubgardens · 19/07/2011 19:49

I dunno, it could be the car. Round here, big BMWs with dark windows are known as 'pimp-mobiles'. No idea who's driving them as the windows are dark. It's not so much the fact that it's an expensive car, it's a particular style of expensive car.

It can get mixed up with racism though, just as saying things are 'chavvy' can get mixed up with classism. I'd say the comment was definitely unpleasant but might not have been racist.

TheMagnificentBathykolpian · 19/07/2011 19:50

I think there is something about a black man in an expensive car that sets some people off.

When my husband drove his range rover, he would regularly get pulled by the police.

When he drove my fiat - he wouldn't.

Make of that what you will, but I know what I think.

catgirl1976 · 19/07/2011 19:51

Agree with brian and plenty. I think there's a good chance she was looking down on the car for being "chavvy" (horrible word), not the person driving it. It is the style of car not the cost like plenty says.

Original poster
Rosierubies · 19/07/2011 19:51

Catgirl - yes maybe (still struggling as many many cars of the same brand), don't want to complain to school without reason (although should mention that other parent who heard thought it was racist too). I shall avoid her like the plague!!

OP posts:
eurochick · 19/07/2011 19:51

We refer to certain types of car (usually BMW or range rover with all the extras under the sun, a loud stereo and blacked out windows) as "drug dealer cars". It's about the car, not the skin colour of the person driving it (which I usually cannot see because of said blacked out windows and wouldn't care about if I could). So YABU for jumping to conclusions that her comment was in some way racist. I don't see anything racist in the incident as described in your OP.

In one of your later posts you mention the "sea of expensive cars". It's not about the cost of the car, it's about the image. Was the car a bit blingy? Loud stereo? Spoilers? Blacked out windows?

catgirl1976 · 19/07/2011 19:52

Racist or classist she still sounds like a fairly mean spirited person who you should probably avoid!

squeakytoy · 19/07/2011 19:53

A barbers shop can be a very good front for a drugs den... Wink

catgirl1976 · 19/07/2011 19:54

Something for the weekend squeaky?.......

Original poster
Rosierubies · 19/07/2011 19:55

The magnificant - unfortunatly that has been our experience too (back in the days when we had a nice car that didn't need to be the size of a bus to transport our ginormous brood in), and I'm the rubbish driver! Although when hubby was stopped driving from work to dialysis one evening the policeman was so sorry he offered an escort through the traffic.

OP posts:
Original poster
Rosierubies · 19/07/2011 19:58

Eurochick - car an audi a3, nice, new, no visible extras. At least four other cars (different colours) on same ling street with parents and kids pouring out, no comment regarding them, just him. She's obviously not in the know anyway if bmws and range rovers are the dug dealers vehicle of choice!

OP posts:
TheMagnificentBathykolpian · 19/07/2011 19:58

Yes. It happened so often that we used to joke about it.

And it was a plain, normal, oldfartmobile. Not blacked out windows, nothing fancy. nothing 'bling'.

Black man in range rover - pull him over
black man in fiat - proceed unmolested

Hmm
Original poster
Rosierubies · 19/07/2011 19:59

Oh dear, silly touch screen!

OP posts:
catgirl1976 · 19/07/2011 19:59

Yes - audi a3 is not a "drug dealers" car. So she is either racist / classist AND wrong Grin

thebestisyettocome · 19/07/2011 20:06

I've heard people say similar things about white men in flash cars who don't wear a suit. Stupid prejudice whatever the colour of the person.

thebestisyettocome · 19/07/2011 20:07

Oh, and being a barber can often be a licence to print money. If the shop is sucessful the owner can rent out chairs which is very lucrative.

ZillionChocolate · 19/07/2011 20:07

Then she was being unreasonable. You could quite politely used your best confused expression to ask "why would you say that?". Then you'd know whether she was a racist or had noticed the "MDMA 1" numberplate.

SpringchickenGoldBrass · 19/07/2011 20:09

Well she sounds thick, judgemental and bigoted. But given what she actually said, reporting her to anyone will make you look like a paranoid loon with a chip on your shoulder. Just avoid her as much as possible.

SheCutOffTheirTails · 19/07/2011 20:09

Sounds to me like she was being racist, although I already had my fingers ready to type YANBU before I got to the bit about the Dad being black.

Gossiping like that about other parents at a school your children attend is very unpleasant.

I'm not really sure what you think you could report though? And to whom?

"Someone I know made a nasty comment that was probably racist" isn't a crime. It's not illegal to think black men who drive flash cars are drug dealers. It just means you're a dick.

AmberLeaf · 19/07/2011 20:23

She sounds like a bigotted twat.

FreudianSlipper · 19/07/2011 20:28

YANBU

if the guy was white the comment would not have been made

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 19/07/2011 20:29

Yabu, she didn't make a racist comment.

AmberLeaf · 19/07/2011 20:33

No she made a racist assumption

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 19/07/2011 20:35

She didn't, she made an assumption based on his car choice and dress by the sounds of it !

Pimp mobile, drug dealers car, chav wagon etc. Heard them all and the area I live is 99% white.

HappyDoll · 19/07/2011 20:38

Well obviously she knows this stuff...he's clearly her supplier.