To want to slap this woman into next Tuesday??

[Rosierubies]

I'm furious, mum at school when observing the father of a child in our childrens class parking up (in a very nice car) to collect 'oh look at his car,' glance away 'i'll just say it shall I, drug dealer' (exaggerated whisper) WTF!!! Incidently this guy is also the father of one of the few black children in our school, he also favours a casual clothing style...he is also really nice and my dh's barber. I can only think that this is stereotyping on racial grounds and I'm furious, it's alright for her to own a 600k house but not for him to have a 30k car. I want to report it as a racist incident at school and chuck something at her would that bu?

[danniclare]

She's probably right, I'm sure I've seen it somewhere on TV that drug dealers are black and drive BMWs. Probably a cop show so it must be true. Did you know they actually manufacture them in Columbia?

No, don't knock her into next week, sounds like she needs all the brians she has. I'd just like to be there when some sterotypes her.

[worraliberty]

Lol at 'brians'

[pinkyp]

I didn't no drug dealers were black?? Y think that op? If some one said to me what does a drug dealer look like? I'd say well dressed, plenty of bling and a flash car!

[Fifis25StottieCakes]

If your mixed race i doubt she meant it as a racist comment. Sounds like she was referring to the car and you have jumped to the wrong conclusion for some reason. Why did you not correct her at the time or ask her why she thought he was a drug dealer

[Ripeberry]

Last week I saw a snazzy dressed coloured man in a rough area. Nice suit, hat and spats on his shoes. Now he looked good, but totally out of place. Maybe he was going to a fancy dress party?

[snippywoo2]

If your so bloody 'furious' why come on here and post about it. Why did you
not confront the said 'mum' and have it out with her for being racist. Why do you want to report it to the school thereby passing it on for someone else to deal with. You know the man ,you said your self he's really nice and he's your dh's barber why did you not say something at the time.

[LDNmummy]

This stereotype is still quite dominant in our society, doesn't shock me.

My friend has a very successful DH who is Nigerian and people make comments like that because he can afford a very decent lifestyle.

Even my DH, who dresses very well was assumed to be a 'gangster' by some of his peers at uni from middle class white backgrounds. A couple of them told him one day that they had just assumed he was a 'gangster' but that they were really glad he was actually an alright guy

Doesn't surprise me OP.

[snippywoo2]

If you dont stand up for the people you know then you cant expect people to stand up for you when the time comes. Keep this poem in mind next time you walk away saying nothing.

First they came for the Communists
And I did not speak out
Because I was not a Communist
Then they came for the Socialists
And I did not speak out
Because I was not a Socialist
Then they came for the trade unionists
And I did not speak out
Because I was not a trade unionist
Then they came for the Jews
And I did not speak out
Because I was not a Jew
Then they came for me
And there was no one left
To speak out for me

[snippywoo2]

you should slap yourself for not saying anything

[honeyandsalt]

- give the OP a break snippy she was floored by the sheer unexpected rudeness, it happens to the best of us.

[piprabbit]

If you had something at the time ("actually he's a barber, you fool"), then she would have felt stupid and learned her lesson.

If you report her to the authorities some time after the event, then she will get defensive and indignant and deny the accusations. She will feel hard done by and the lesson will be lost.

I think you missed your chance.

[snippywoo2]

honey she had the time between him parking his car and getting out of it and coming into the playground to say something.

[fedupofnamechanging]

She might be one of those people who think only 'professionals' drive expensive cars and that lowly barbers could only afford one if their income was supplemented by doing something illegal. There are plenty of people about who think the working classes should be kept in their place or who have no concept that being a barber or a plumber might pay very well, especially if they own the business.

[ShoutyHamster]

Arf at drug dealers not wanting to be seen in people carriers.

Maybe they fear being mistaken for for REALLY BIG TIME drug dealers who literally need five rear seats to carry the groaning weight of their 2mill£ in stock.

OP, you could sidle up to her and say in a concerned voice that you heard what she said and just wanted to warn her that quite a few people heard and that you don't want her to get reported for making a racist comment so to be more careful. That will put the wind up the idiot woman.

[create]

YANBU at all, of course you're not, but I think I might have been inclined to think (but not say) the same if I saw a barber driving a £30k car. Your life and neighbourhood must be very different to mine though - I doubt there's one £30k car at our school.

And I shall continue cutting my DC's hair myself for al long as I can make them they will let me

[catgirl1976]

My DH drives a big black BMW but he isn't a drug dealer although he does get the odd comment that its a drug dealers car.

He is white but he still gets the comments about the car from time to time. Mind you, I have never had a black drug dealer and where we are a £30k car wouldn't raise an eyebrow whoever was driving it.

[mayorquimby]

"He's white and we all know that only black people are drug dealers, don't we?"

And Mexicans (sorry just saw 'the guard' last night.)

YANBU horribly racist comment

[catgirl1976]

mayor I was not saying "he is white" and therefore cannot be a drug dealer, I was saying "he is white" and the drug dealer comments are aimed at the car not the person driving it, which is possible in the case of the OP.

(Although I think she was probably being racist especially as the car in the OP is not in anyway flash / bling so wouldn't warrant the comment).

I do think it would have been better to say something at the time and I don't see that reporting it to the school will do much good. Probably best to avoid her as she doesn't sound very nice, but if you hear her saying something like that again - pull her up on it!

[Tanif]

I wouldn't immediately perceive it as racist. However I would think of it as incredibly offensive, presumptuous and would worry about what she may say in front of sensitive little ears that may repeat things on the playground. I would stay quiet this time, your moment has passed, but if she says anything about anyone along those lines again (regardless of race), I would pull her up immediately.

[OpinionatedPlusSprogs]

It was probably racist but like others have said could have been referring to the type of car. I doubt reporting it would do any good as she didn't actually say anything that was definitley racist. I think it would be better to put the record straight and tell her what he does for a living. And also say "Why on earth would you think he is a drug dealer?" That would put her on the spot.

[porcamiseria]

she is a fucking racist twat but it looks like you missed the moment to say anything I am afaid. Like that poem posted, and next time, say something

but god knows its such a shocker when people say such things that oftenh you are too gobsmacked to say anything unfortunately

[OpinionatedPlusSprogs]

You could tell people he is actually a barber with his own business though to stop nasty rumours.

[Blu]

Whether racist or just a stupid generalisation about car owners, it was an outrageous thing to say and unforgiveable in front of children.

But the reasonable thing to do was not to slap her, or report her to someone else to deal with, but be calm and direct and say "that's very rude! best not start ugly rumours based on crass generalisations". Which would be a good thing for your kids to hear, too.

Have a few calm direct comments tucked up your sleeve for future use.