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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To cut my hair into a style that DH does not like?

35 replies

AngryFeet · 16/07/2011 09:27

I have long highlighted curly hair which I mainly wear in a ponytail as it is a bit frizzy and a pain to style every morning. It basically looks like this www.wildsound-filmmaking-feedback-events.com/images/sex_and_the_city_carrie.jpg.

I am sick of the length and sick of not being able to do anything with it. I also had a bad dye job recently and have awful roots and brassy hair so am planning on having it dyed back to it's natural dark blonde. I also want to go for something like this 4.bp.blogspot.com/-2HAv-nmX5KU/TbUOf_AhwqI/AAAAAAAAKyU/oJk3cEZOeL0/s1600/bob-haircut-with-bangs-Nichole+Richee+Long+Bob+Hairstyles.jpg

DH says he loves my long hair and hates fringes but I should do whatever makes me happy.

Hmmmm I may be questioning more whether I should make such a drastic change rather than caring what DH thinks

OP posts:

magicmummy1 · 16/07/2011 09:28

It's your hair. :)

iwanttoseethezoo · 16/07/2011 09:29

Won't you have to straighten it every day?

LoveBeingAbleToNamechange · 16/07/2011 09:31

If you find it a pain now surely it will still be a pain to straighten?

MarkStretch · 16/07/2011 09:32

My Dh says this to me every time I have my hair cut, and then once it's done he says 'Wow actually, that looks REALLY nice'.

I think they just fear change and worry it will look crap but are generally quite impressed when you come back from the hairdressers all glossy and swishy looking.

Original poster

AngryFeet · 16/07/2011 09:32

Well I want a long bob so I can still wear it up when I am rushed. Straightening it at that length will only take 30 mins which is half the time it takes me now. I would really like a shorter style that looks good curly or straight and that covers up my forehead a bit (big spam ).

OP posts:

Ineedacleaneriamalazyslattern · 16/07/2011 09:36

I have curly hair and it is now the same length as the second picture and trust me it does not look good curly I looke like Beetlejuice with it curly you really do need to get up in the morning and straighten it.

I stupidly thought a fringe would be a good idea but it's not it's a pain in the rear end unless I take the time to do it every morning. I do love the long bob but honestly try to resist the fringe.

MaMattoo · 16/07/2011 09:38

Same boat as you :) my hair goes crazy with the heat and the cold and the damp. Very rarely have a good hair day. But Brazilian blow dry works!! It was in offer on groupon a few weeks ago...it saves the 30 mins of straightening effort.
And yes it is your hair and any change worries the men! It's almost like they don't trust you to make yourself look fantastic without their advice/opinion..
(will stop rambling....)
go or it!!!

Goblinchild · 16/07/2011 09:38

Your hair, you choose. It will grow back, so it's not really a big deal.

ZillionChocolate · 16/07/2011 09:39

Maybe do it in stages? Colour first, cut second?

I wouldn't chose to have my hair in a style DH hates, as he's the person I'd most like to think I look nice. I tend to have curly hair on days I'm with other people and straight hair with him for that reason.

BTW, I think your plan looks like a good one. In my experience men are often not keen on short hair but I don't think a long bob qualifies as short hair.

Ineedacleaneriamalazyslattern · 16/07/2011 09:39

Have to say as well speak to a few hairdressers before you do go for a bob because I have had some that the layers were lovely straight but looked like I had fried my hair when it was curly. I have found a hairdresser or 2 that really get my hair (loads of them honestly don't get curly hair) and cut it so well to accomodate the curly days too.

catsareevil · 16/07/2011 09:54

I think that you should do what you want. I agree with the comment about some men being scared of hair change in their partners!
A longish bob isnt really short hair as such, and it sounds like it would be a fairly painless transition back to the way your hair is now if you didnt like it.

EricNorthmansMistressOfPotions · 16/07/2011 10:08

It would never occur to me to discuss a haircut with any man.

Original poster

AngryFeet · 16/07/2011 10:19

I wasn't asking if I could have it done EricNorthmans just saying this is what I wanted and he gave his opinion. I tend to tell my husband most things that are happening in my life

OP posts:

practicallyimperfect · 16/07/2011 10:25

I have curly hair, dizzy etc. I have had it in a bob for a while and straightened. The bonus of thick curly hair is that once straightened it stays like that until.I wash it, so 2-3 days. Most low maintenance style I've had. I've just gone back to.curly, to give hair a break, but it does take ages to style.

Original poster

AngryFeet · 16/07/2011 10:29

Have your curls suffered from all the straightening practically? do you use GHDs?

OP posts:

Ineedacleaneriamalazyslattern · 16/07/2011 12:19

My curls do Angry it is harder to curl the more often I straighten it but it does get back to normal eventually.

PeopleCallMeTricky · 16/07/2011 12:23

Have you looked at the curly girl method and uk curlies websites? Might give you some better ideas for styling your hair as it is

Nellythecat · 16/07/2011 12:28

My husband loved my long curlyish hair. I hated it. When I cut it into a short bob he told me 'that looks awful.' I was not impressed, but he said later it's just because he missed my old hair and it did look ok really. He still much prefers my hair long but as he's not the one who has to brush all the inevitable tangles out I don't give him any say on the matter.

He should just think himself lucky that he didn't know me six and a half years ago when I decided I was completely sick of it and had a hairdresser cut it as short as she could without shaving it. I still maintain it was my favourite ever style - so easy to care for!

PeopleCallMeTricky · 16/07/2011 12:30

Should have also said YANBU, cut your hair however you want, my hair is curly though and a lot easier to manage after looking at the curly girl method etc.

practicallyimperfect · 16/07/2011 13:42

It does effect the curl, but not forever. I find it takes between 1-2 weeks to get back to normal.

I am going to try the curly girl method.

Em3978 · 16/07/2011 13:48

My DH always prefers my hair long, I even grew it longer after I met him...

Its now 1inch long all over!! :o

Much easier, much nicer (it get seriously frizzy if it gets much longer) and he's getting used to it.

still does every time i have it cut though!!

MrsKravitz · 16/07/2011 13:57

I just looked at your photo and you would look great with that bob and fringe

Original poster

AngryFeet · 17/07/2011 14:51

Thanks MrsKravitz. Pretty sure I will go for it. Can always grow it out without too much bother and as mentioned earlier it will be so much easier to quickly wash and dry/straighten it every couple of days. Will make the appt tonight for a couple of weeks time :)

OP posts:

FabbyChic · 17/07/2011 14:53

Id never have a fringe because I just don't like them. Have you tried seeing what you will look like with a fringe? Naturally curly hair is awesome!

How about a same length bob all around including the fringe?

HoneyPablo · 17/07/2011 14:54

In nearly 25 years of marriage, I have never once consulted DH on my hair. It's your hair.

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