DD kept in at school break due to not having PE kit

[sandyballs]

This morning DD was charging about hunting for her PE kit and I told her it was probably in the festering pile in the corner of her room. It was and surprise suprise it was dirty. Cue lots of tears and moaning that I hadn't washed it.

I reminded her, yet again, that I would not be washing anything that wasn't in the laundry bin. I told her to wear it dirty or face the consequences at school. More tears, begging me to write a note saying she had hurt her leg and couldn't do PE. I refused.

I didn't think much more of it but arriving home from work a while ago DH is pissed off with me after DD has told him the story.

She's 10. Too harsh or reasonable at that age. Why should I spend ages rooting through her stuff trying to discover what needs washing because she is too lazy to take it off and move a few metres to put it in the basket.

Not sure what you mean here. Is it the school you are complaining about, or your DD?

Perfectly reasonable at age 10 I think.

DH is being too soft.

YANBU neither was school - 10 is old enough to be responsible for stuff like that

perhaps this detention will be the final reminder she needs about remembering to put her laundry to wash!

Not unreasonable of you at all. I often ignore text messages from DD, asking if I can pop up her blazer or tie or PE kit! Stuff that! Your job to remember, I've got enough to remember getting out of the house in the morning myself!

YANBU, I wish I had your courage!

I remind ds about things like this once because I don't want the consequences and I know he likes an excuse to not do PE, so in our house it would be counter productive! But you are right, and dh should back you up in front of dd, even if he doesn't agree.

Hopefully your dd has learnt a valuable lesson.

Why is your DP pissed off with you?

YANBU at 10 she is old enough to put her dirty washing in the laundry bin and have next day things ready the night before. Albeit with a reminder. Maybe now she's faced a serious consequence to her actions (or non-actions) she'll be more organised in the future. Your dh is too soft. 10 really is old enough to be fairly responsible.

Mine only do PE once a week & sometimes just pick the kit up from where they dumped it the week before

If it isn´t in the (washing) bin, isn´t going in the washing machine!

TBH, daughter sounds precious for not wearing a dirty kit & husband even more so for being angry at you-that´s awful.

YANBU - at 10 years old, its perfectly reasonable of her to put her kit in the washing.
I love girls of this age - at school gates it is always 'you' who has forgotten to bring 'their' PE kit/musical instrument/signed consent form.
Boys are no better.
If your DH is so concerned then let him be responsible as one poster has already suggested.

You mean you didn't check last night to make sure she knew where it was and had it ready for the morning . Actually I think the school is unreasonable for giving her the detention, the responsibility is yours; you are her mother and it should have been washed, pressed and packed for her in plenty of time before leaving. I hope you remember to polish her shoes tomorrow . Remember Selina Scott - not don't your DH won't like it.

YANBU, 10 is old enough.

The school was right, it is a just consequence for HER for not bringing.

You are right. Your dh is an arse.

Your dd should learn for next time to put stuff in the washing basket.

YANBU. I started secondary school at 11 and always recall the time I genuinely forgot to do a piece of homework. I got a 20 minute detention, came home and moaned to Mum, expecting some sympathy I think. Her reaction was simply, 'well you won't forget to do your homework again, will you?' And I didn't. Lesson learned.

It;s a compulsory part of the curriculum, children without kit are a PITA to deal with whilst teaching the lesson, she needs to get her act together.
Put your DH in charge of the laundry. He needs the experience.

I have the same thing every week with DD. If your Brownie uniform is dirty put it in the wash, or you'll be wearing it dirty next week. If you have no pants to wear, it's because they're all on the floor. Ditto no socks- all scrunched up at the end of her bed. She will learn to use her laundry basket, even if she ends up going to school in a bin liner.

My yr7 DD has the solution to this... she forgets to bring her PE kit home, so it festers at school but at least she always has it

I have similar problems with my 10 YO DD and do the same as you.

Why didn't your DH wash it then?

Of course YANBU.

BTW my husband has asked if there is a WDYNTA (why do you need to ask?) emoticon.

Slightly off topic, but Dads can be soft, can´t they?

I once got home from walking the dog to find a note from husband saying that son had left his pencil case at home & perhaps I could take it in.

I didn´t-on the grounds that I don´t know where his classroom is, but mainly because he is 15

YANBU, my 6yo forgot his recorder last week and blamed me.

He was told - I said put your recorder in your bag, you heard/ chose to play with cars. You missed out. He starts juniors in September and will either never have what he needs or learn PDQ.

Agree as well if your DH thinks its a parents responsibility tell him to parent.

Diddl