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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to tell ex's GF to keep her opinions to herself regarding DD??

112 replies

runnyegg · 14/07/2011 13:32

Just going through facebook I noticed DD(14) had written a status saying "u no i dunt no y i bover wiv u nemore". A lot of the teens write like this. Anyway underneath the wicked stepmother has written "for goodness sake, why do you write like you're stupid? you're 14 and you write like a 5 year old. It's not cool to be stupid, you know that right? you're doing an English GCSE next year for goodness sake." To make matters worse a number of DDs friends have "Liked" the stepmothers comment which will make DD mortified.

AIBU to send her a message asking her not to badmouth DD on her own facebook page??

OP posts:
JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 14/07/2011 21:33

Yeah, and wot LWITW said.

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 14/07/2011 21:34

JPHPG woz ere

or

JMHPG wuz yer as they wrote round my way.

Tillyscoutsmum · 14/07/2011 22:06

I'm Grin at all the 70's/80's txt spk

I.D.S.T

S.W.A.L.K

MsTeak · 14/07/2011 22:22

Oh, FFS with the "publicly humiliated" bullshit. First of all, its Facebook, people make personal comments, secondly, she has a good point, writing like that does make you look like an imbecile, third she could have removed it easily if she wanted, and fourthly if she can't cope with comments she shouldn't have a FB account.
Sounds to me like you and your DD should both grow up a bit.

usualsuspect · 14/07/2011 22:35

ah well it all depends why the SM wrote what she did

maybe she shouldn't comment on 14 year olds fb pages ,I wouldn't

springydaffs · 14/07/2011 23:54

oh come on! honestly, you lot . so what that she uses text speak. so what?

oho though, best of luck for that particular SM

cory · 15/07/2011 00:00

I know I am a (very very) old fogey, but textspeak always reminds me of the Latin abbreviations used by medieval writers. Bernard of Clairvaux and Thomas Aquinas and all that lot dumbing themselves down, makes me quite sad to think about it. Probably not a brain cell between them. Poor old Bernard with no stepmother to pull him up before he ruined his life chances.

springydaffs · 15/07/2011 00:07

ooh cory, you doll!

OrdinaryJo · 15/07/2011 00:23

I think it's really funny that so many Mumsnetters are down on the text speak when Mumsnet itself is chock-full of codes, shorthands, shortcuts and icons. Personally, I hate textspeak and would never use it myself, but then I guess most 14 year olds could say the same thing about most posts on here, couldn't they?

OP I guess all you can do is talk to your daughter and let her know that if she is uncomfortable with the post she can delete it or unfriend the step-Mum. She may be taking it as banter - but either way it's a good chance to re-inforce how to handle unwanted comments?

LDNmummy · 15/07/2011 00:38

Sorry I should have said that I would want to smack her in the face, I wouldn't, but would definitely be having serious words.

OrdinaryJo · 15/07/2011 00:45
BitOfFun · 15/07/2011 00:47

Cory, if you can show me a teenager making major philosophical points previously unimagined via the medium of textspeak, I will concede your point.

FuzzpigFourFiveSix · 15/07/2011 10:25

I think I read somewhere that somebody had translated the whole bible into txtspk.

I am quite Confused that some people think that if she was upset by the comment then she isn't mature enough for FB - implying that one should expect teasing to occur on a public forum? Maybe I'm just naive but I don't expect that. Or at least if it did happen I wouldn't be happy that my so called friends thought it was funny to take the piss out of me online. As I said earlier it's different in person, as you can see the reaction immediately and there's no chance of misunderstanding. Also it's not left online for lots of people to see (the 'victim' may be able to delete it from FB but not necessarily before everyone sees it...)

MsTeak · 15/07/2011 10:41

its not teasing, and you must be quite naive if you don't know what teenagers write to each other on their walls!

"Victim"? Really?

Mitmoo · 15/07/2011 10:46

OP: SOme of the exam boards are changing so that they include text speak as part of the GCSE examination. It will cover using text speak in appropriate places, such as between friends, text but not in academia etc.

It's a skill to write that stuff, I can hardly ready but if the kids have developed their own language, it was good enough for Shakespeare, then why should we get all sniffy about it.

Mitmoo · 15/07/2011 10:48

I certainly wouldn't comment on children's facebook pages, and I'd tell you daughter to delete her from her friends.

Mitmoo · 15/07/2011 10:51

MsTeak Oh, FFS with the "publicly humiliated" bullshit. First of all, its Facebook, people make personal comments, secondly, she has a good point, writing like that does make you look like an imbecile, third she could have removed it easily if she wanted, and fourthly if she can't cope with comments she shouldn't have a FB account.
Sounds to me like you and your DD should both grow up a bit.
_

FFS FB DD - you're using the Mumsnet form of text speak.

The kids are using theirs.

PirateDinosaur · 15/07/2011 10:51

You could always reply on the thread pointing out to the stepmother that, if we're going to enforce GCSE standards of spelling and grammar on Facebook, it should be "For goodness' sake" with an apostrophe, sentences should begin with a capital letter, and there should be a comma between "you know that" and "right?".

That might not be terribly soothing, though.

PirateDinosaur · 15/07/2011 10:53

(It will depend on which source you consult whether the apostrophe is said to be required or not, admittedly. But it is, because I Am Right.)

Mitmoo · 15/07/2011 10:55

Pirate not soothing but very satisfying.

MsTeak · 15/07/2011 11:06

thats not textspeak, if you look closely you can see all the properly spelled words in the English language with just a small amount of recognised agreed on acronyms.

FuzzpigFourFiveSix · 15/07/2011 11:10

Yes MsTeak, I put 'victim' not victim! :)

Anyway, maybe teens do a lot of that (and it is teasing IMO) it doesn't mean it's ok does it? In any case this is an adult FFS.

Mitmoo · 15/07/2011 11:16

MSteak the children's text speak is recognised and agreed acronyms between them. It's their own coded language and it takes me a great deal of thought to work out what they are saying.

You say they are recognised, they may be on here by many but they also won't be by others. FFS is understood by all.

I am often stuck on here trying to work out what the acronyms mean.
I am sure you can see the double standards when as adults we use abbreviations but knock the children because they use more.

LauLauLemon · 15/07/2011 11:18

I agree with stepmum.

Summatontoast · 15/07/2011 11:19

SM has embarrassed herself more than anyone, commenting on a kids FB page in such a way....agree with those who say lots of 14 year olds would write in a similar way when using FB but most also know how to write correctly. Most grow out of it, although a adult FB friend of mine always posts in text speak and that does look ridiculous IMO. Will be interesting to see how your daughter responds, if she has a good relationship with SM it will easily be laughed off - it does sound from your OP that you may have ongoing issues with 'wicked stepmother' though.

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