to think that this women is completely overreacting?

[babybumpx]

I arranged with an associate/friend to meet on monday morning for coffee at my house with her toddler who was excited to come and play with DS2.

However I am 34 weeks pregnant, I have literally just moved home, my partner had worked nights that weekend so he had decided on monday morning to have the day off and get some rest, he was going to go in for the overtime but his sleep is more important, so i called her to apologise and reschedule it for the afternoon, she was ok with that. however I was also waiting for the delivery of our Moses basket which was due to arrive between the hours 9.30 and 12.30. so i had planned to go into town at 1 and be back in time for the school run and then have my "friend" over, It didnt arrive and after calling mothercare they said it will be here sometime that day! to top it all of my partner and I had a disagreement, so i then decided today really isnt a good day, I was feeling so stressed, after being in hospital the friday previous for a high blood pressure etc I didnt want anyone coming round. I tried calling her but no reply, so then messaged her and suggested she came over on thursday after school. Her reply was no thanks, I have let her down and she feels that my poor excuses and not good enough, she'd rather take a step back. This morning at the school run she completely blanked me, I text her to apologise once again and her reply was much of the same as before, adding that it is not good enough, for future reference you need to find better excuses and to wake up and smell the coffee! and do i always lie to myself??

I am upset as I dont want to make people feel this way but I cant help thinking she is overreacting, I replied to her message by saying that seeing as the friendship seems to be very conditional I am happy to completely take a step back from it and that I dont have any friends who are as rigid as that.

What more can I say.

• all just excuses not good reasons
• you're still not sorry for ruining her day
• you did write an essay
• aibu
• yes
• no I'm not
• why did you post if you don't think you are?
• your friend came to the end of her tether with you
• she has ditched you
• you can't ditch her cos she did it first
• the end

Babybumpx yeh that just sounds like life stuff....so question for you;

What do you think was going on in your friends day?

Doesn't she have any life stuff or is her life and time just a vague shadowy two dimensional concept to you?

And don't delude yourself with expecting this 'forgiving' stuff being so important, it's just an excuse and justification to treat others thoughtlessly and mess them about.

It's not even the first time that you've messed this woman about. You really don't seem able to understand that other people's time and feelings matter just as much as yours - yes, you had a difficult day, but you could have apologised properly instead of just whining about your problems.

I would Ditch her fast, she doesn't sound like much of a friend to me. Real genuine friends would be totally understanding and lovely. She's done you a favour.

Op, we've all noted how busy and stressed you are etc and pregnant too..... But you still seem to have ample time to post on mumsnet .

Her toddler was probably upset after a promised visit fizzled out.

itsraining, too true, coffee could have been had instead of being on MN

Am I the ONLY one who can't understand how a late delivery is even relevant? Presumably it was being delivered to your home... Where your arrangement was? Wtf?

And... Going to town 'for various reasons' is a lame excuse!

TBH you ARE lying to yourself that you are a good friend.

I understand that the friend was hurt about being let down again, but she overreacted to the extent that she did nit come out smelling of roses either. She should have told you that she was hurt in an adult way. I personally would not make any further arrangements with you, just keep it over the phone or text

i thought that, Kayano. The ultimate time to have friends round for coffee I would have thought :o

If friend is coming round to yours, and the item is being delivered to yours, why the he'll do you need to cancel. The delivery will only take a few seconds unless you want to invite the delivery guy in for tea. Have received deliveries whilst friends have been round, how odd op

OP most of the people on here would have been fed up with you so if you are as good a friend to your other friends as you are to this one I would expect some of them to ditch you as well. You could have still had your friend over and waited for a delivery. You could have still had her over after a row with your partner - especially as you had already let her down - couldn't he have gone out or something. If you make arrangements with someone you shouldn't mess them around unless you have to or they will get pissed off - you didn't have to mess her around you just couldn't be bothered with her - that's not being a good friend! The only way way your friend was in the wrong was that she should have kept the highground and just not bothered making arrangements with you again instead of sending a snotty text.

Here's the thing - you ditch other things. Isn't she a friend of yours? Or wasn't she?

Gosh, you've had a bit of a pasting on here, OP. I think you weren't especially BU. It didn't come out so good, but nevermind. People move on and she'll get over herself.
Still maintain (from my previous post) that she's up the wall to use that phrase 'smell the coffee'. That is alone, enough, to warrant her not being totally normal.
Stress not. She'll get over it and if she doesn't, do you really need to give a shit about it?