To think that the cost of attending a wedding is prohibitively expensive?

[Mumswang]

I?m of that age where lots of our friend are getting married. Now I?m not a party pooper, I love a wedding, and I love my friends, I love celebrating with my friends, but??.latest of friends to get married (the second this summer). Not an extravagant do, just a normal wedding, no outrageous demands or costs, in fact it's one of the more modest events

Hen night

Spa £55
Curry £35 (no booze for me, pregnant)
Club £15 (again booze costs minimised)
Contribution towards hen night tat £15
Total - £120

Stag night
Weekend in European city ? God knows, in region of £500 I should think (conservatively)

Wedding
3 hour drive away
Petrol £40 ish
Hotel (only allow 2 night bookings at weekends in summer, can?t actually stay 2 nights as no DC wedding, fine but no one to look after DS for two nights) £180
Outfit ? have to buy something as huge so £50 dress, swollen feet so need new, flat shoes £50
Present - £50 I think is about the minimum we can spend without looking mean (they have asked for cash contributions)
Total - £370

So we?re looking at near enough £1000

DP and I haven?t had a holiday for 3 years, not even a weekend away somewhere together

We?ve just moved house and can?t afford, for example, curtains so have old, faded ones that don?t fit the windows, amongst other things

My car needs a new exhaust, I can?t afford one

These are the 6th of our friends to have got amrried in the last couple of years, there are still about another 4 couples engaged and planning their weddings for the next couple of years

AIBU to dread the ?wedding season??

But it's a 3 hour drive. Couldn't be arsed doing that in a day in the name of entertainment.

Oh I see. Op is still moaning.

Well, I think it's verging on stupidity to spend £600+ on a hen and stag night.

Weddings are expensive to attend.

Even if you do it on the cheap.

Fwiw there is no way dh would spend £500 on a stag do if we hadn't had a holiday or weekend away ourselves for ages. That's ridiculous.

It's time to stop the madness
People need to start saying NO WAY ARE YOU INSANE to stag dos that involve climbing Everest
No-one can really afford that kind of excess any more
It's showy and thoughtless to plan it that way
Weddings I have less of an issue with - it is a compliment to the bride and groom to make an effort with your appearance and so IMO shoes and dress money well spent. Buy a decent dress (the sales are on) and ebay it afterward.

YANBU - weddings are expensive! But unless they are your closest friends, you don't have to do any of that.

I was invited to my cousins hen do and wedding, I went to the wedding but couldn't afford the hen do as well (like you she doesn't live near me so it would have required a night in a hotel). She was fine with it. And TBH if she hadn't been I still wouldn't have been able to afford it!

OP - You say your curtains are old, faded and don't fit.
Go to eg. Primark or wilkinson.
I never spend over £25 on a pair of curtains. You can get off-cuts or sale curtains at your local drapers, also pretty nets and muslins. I got 2 net curtains for £12 but they weren't the cheapest.

B&Q do coloured roman blinds for £12 upwards.

Whatever you do re: the wedding, get those curtains done.
Also yearly holidays aren't essential but getting your exhaust fixed is.

Don't go to any of it. Send them some money and a nice card. Job done.

As for curtains, the charity shops are full of curtains, many of top quality, go take a look.

YANBU. We were nearly penniless one summer when we had 4 weddings to go to.

I remember a particularly fun one when DP was best man so we realistically had to go to everything. The itinerary:

Stag-do
Hen-do
Joint stag and hen weekend
Pre-wedding dinner (2 nights before wedding at other end of country)
Pre-wedding drinks party (night before wedding)
Wedding
Post-wedding lunch

(small hiatus)

Post-wedding party for viewing photos

(longer hiatus)

One-year post-wedding reunion weekend away

Seriously. It wasn't even my wedding and it took over my life for months!

I am constantly amazed at the expense of these events both for the bride and groom and those attending. For this very reason DP and I are getting married in secret in a few weeks!

Expensive hen and stag weekends are a bugbear of mine, and like someone else has said, are just all part of "keeping up with the joneses". I think it's all got a bit ridiculous these days.

OP, if attending a wedding and associated events was going to cause me difficulty financially then I simply wouldn't go. I couldn't justify spending 1k on attending a wedding. Like some others have suggested, there are ways you could cut back on your expenditure if you really want to attend.

YANBU and YABU

The whole thing has become ridiculous.

However:

I never attend hen or stag do's. The last hen do I went to was my sister in laws which was just a nice meal in a normal restaurant.

The last wedding I went to which was dh's cousin who lives away I got my dress from Sainsbury's in the sale and we stayed at a Travelodge.