Hi I will try to keep this as straight forward as possible!
Me and DM always had up and down relationship.She walked out on me when I was young to have an affair.Made me homeless in my later teenage years.She's been very selfish.
Move forward some years I've had 2 small ds's and df and house etc.
We've built bridges and she's brilliant with my LO's(although we live 200 miles away from eachother).
When she sees them she's the perfect hands-on Nanny.Couldn't fault her in that aspect.
Anyway I'm getting married very soon.Very very small day.My mother and father can't stand to be in the same room and he said he'd rather not be involved in my wedding.Thinks marriages means nothing and he would rather die than give a speech etc!
Anyway because of complicated families and not to mention cost of Weddings we've decided to have just us and our DC.
My DM was upset and asked to be involved.I actually wanted my DM to be there as it felt it was important.I started planning hair and photographers etc.
I asked if she was certain she wanted her hair done by a stylist who will visit our hotel on the day and she said yes.She saw the hundreds of images of the hair designs that I sent her and she knew how much it cost.I've paid for it now.
I also showed her images of the photographers work.We were going to have 'mother daughter' pictures etc.
I also have a lovely War Veteran who after waiting quite a while got back to me and said he'd be delighted to be a witness and has kept this day in his diary for us.
The official documents have come through saying our time and date confirmation etc.
DM has since won a competition with a magazine.She had to nominate a special person.She chose her niece.(Not surprised as I bought her a pampering day for 2 and told her it was for us but she took said niece-couldn't really moan it was a gift for her after all)
The comp is same day as Wedding.She wanted me to change my day nearly a month later(she has a holiday booked after comp).
The comp involves her getting her hair and make up done going to an beauty awards show and being photographed for a double spread in a magazine.All expenses paid.
She rang my registry office and tried to find out what other days were free.She found out the next day was free(which she could make)but it costs 5 times the amount of our registry office.Not to mention changing the witnesses,photographers,hair stylists,df's day off etc.
Yesterday she said she knew nothing about hair stylists being paid for and pretending she knew nothing about photographers!(Selective memory)
My birthday is 2 days after my booked date and me and df thought it would be good in the future to have two good dates close together so we could go celebrate for two reasons(say long weekend etc).
He also said on principle why should we change our wedding day just because of my mother.
Me and DM had a horrible fall out y'day.She thinks I'm in the wrong and I could change my day whereas she can't change the date of her competition.
Both me and df understand she's caught between a rock and a hard place.
So sorry for the rambling!Just wanted to see what you would do??
Shall I change my day or have my DM not involved?
Thankyou so much for reading