to come on here an moan about completely trivial shit, because I feel like shrieking OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD and my family will think I am mad if I do

[GetOrfMoiLand]

Where are all the fucking teaspoons? Where do they go? I bought a pack of 6 a couple of months ago and they are all GONE. Just had to make a cup of coffee with a big spoon.

There is seagull shit all over my new car. Why do seagulls flock in their millions here. The sea is 40 miles away.

I put my hand in the peg bag earlier and it was full of earwigs. Earwigs. I nearly shuddered to death.

Small things conspiring to ruin my evening.

Teaspoons vanish in this house too.. and I never know why.

They're with the single socks... it's a conspiracy. :(

Teaspoons will be in the bin along with the empty yoghurt pots and boiled egg shells

YANBU?
Disappearing teaspoons piss me off I'm sure the DD's hide them from me just because they can!!!!!

Seagulls I'm a bit meh at, I live on the coast am used to them.

Urgh at the earwigs though!!

NO hummus.

NO hummus.

YANBA!!! Cutlery, socks and pens dissapear in my house. I swear the kids must eat them.

We're losing forks.

We also have no teaspoons, but that's a given. Where are all the FORKS?

I buy plastic teaspoons for the lunchboxes. I don't lose them anymore.

I am just going to buy a job lot of plastic teaspoons. This house is obviously like a truckers caff, they can't be trusted with metal ones.

perhaps I will buy my own teaspoon, and carry it around with me on a metal chain, like a chatelaine's keys.

Clearly, the seagulls take the spoons. Do things to them. Feed them to the earwigs that live in t'peg beg. Boo ya.

I had to resort to giving the kids plastic cutlrey when my parents came to dinner last week..I only had 6 forks and 7 knives left!!

Also, we have 400 tupperware boxes. And 400 tupperware lids. And none of the lids fit any of the boxes.

And the Chilli Jam has lemongrass in it.

Might as well squirty some swankypantsguusiedup Fairy Liquid on my cheese.

Why does the buzziest fly in the world keep buzzing past my ear,and landing on me ,all day its followed me around

Chaos I have got three pots of houmous (jalapeno, caramelised onion, normal) and can't eat them as on atkins diet. Probably why I am such a miserable bastard.

Cutlery, socks and pens here too. They get lured into another dimension I think.

URGH @ at the earwigs. I was weeding and disturbed a nest of them, and one bit my ankle. I didn't know the feckers could bite

There are HORSE FLIES in the garden. DP is bitten to pieces. Why aret he horseflies there? And the earwigs? It is like a tropical rainforest.

horrified at the idea of biting earwigs.

This reminds me of what my gran told me - don't go near earwigs, as they will crawl into your ear and attack your brain with the pincers.

It's woodlice here..under evry flowerpot and stone on the patio..urgh

Boak at earwigs. Sorry Chaos I bought some hummus in London yesterday, I may be the source of your woes.

Stop your bellyaching you miserable fecker doily.

Didn't you win a miniminiminimalistic fridge to hide stuff in a few hours ago?

You ungrateful wench.

I left a toy in the garden for a few days as I'm a lazy bastard. Huge mistake. Brought inside to wash it, disturbing NEST OF EARWIGS. I nearly vomited in my hummus.

iamab.

Bend over.

[fumescent]

Yes I know. I fuck off great big fridge - I am truly delighted (well I was, until I came home)

Tuppeny.

Was it a life-enhancing toy?