to come on here an moan about completely trivial shit, because I feel like shrieking OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD and my family will think I am mad if I do

[GetOrfMoiLand]

Where are all the fucking teaspoons? Where do they go? I bought a pack of 6 a couple of months ago and they are all GONE. Just had to make a cup of coffee with a big spoon.

There is seagull shit all over my new car. Why do seagulls flock in their millions here. The sea is 40 miles away.

I put my hand in the peg bag earlier and it was full of earwigs. Earwigs. I nearly shuddered to death.

Small things conspiring to ruin my evening.

Our compost has a high metal content. Digging over the garden always turns up a few teaspoons

fucking Christmas who thinks about it in July.

Can I moan too? My friend came to UK to visit and tripped over a suitcase on her way - so has been in a plaster cast and wheel chair for the visit. She tells everyone it was the case with my new laptop in it as though it is my fault she is a clumsy mare, when the case was full of other stuff anyhow and she brought a heap of baggage. Because she was injured she couldn't stay with my grandparents, so had to stay in my mum's house so there were 7 of us all in here and it was hell. Mum doesn't like her and the constant stream of laundry, bathing etc, she doesn't like Mum's slovenly housekeeping and sarcasm. I feel I am being blamed for her holiday being ruined and am sick of trying to cheer everyone up. She's in Scotland for two nights with her son, and I am sort of dreading her return for the rest of the trip as I am done on trying to be cheery whilst hefting her around in a wheelchair and trying to entertain her teenaged son as well as my totally bored brood... she moans all the time about how much more money her trip is costing because she has to get taxis - yet they are only costing a pound or two more than the busses would and she had a huge budget for the trip. I know she is disappointed our big trip together is being spoiled and that she is in pain too which makes her moodier, but I wish I had never invited her in the first place :( I hope our friendship will survive this disastrous holiday...

Pocketsocks - Norman the Slug with the Silly Shell will enlighten you. They're in league with the seagulls you see.

Never mind disappearing teaspoons, how did my garlic crusher mutate into a pizza wheel?