For not wanting to look after my best friend's daughter??

[ImGoingToHellForThis]

Name Change because I already know I'm being a nasty bitch but

My best friend of 15 years has just landed herself a job after years of trying. She can get childcare, but not until September. I'm free until September so naturally she asked me. The thing is although I love her to bits I just can't stand to be around her DD

The DD is 7 and has been spoilt rotten from the day she was born, she even has a "spoilt" sounding name which I'd love to share but don't want to be TOO obvious. The girl is rude and demanding, sits there on the sofa with her glass in the air which means she wants it topping up. The last time she was here she whacked my puppy across the face with her sandal because he SNIFFED her doll. She has been brought up to believe that EVERYTHING should and will revolve around her and she expects it from other people too, not just her parents. She turns my TV over without asking because at home, she rules the TV. She helps herself to food out of the cupboards whenever she feels like it and screams at the top of her voice if anyone so much as says no to her. I know its the way she's been brought up and I shouldn't blame her but I just can't stand being around her. She spoils every day out we go on by demanding and whinging and complaining and even even spoilt DSs birthday party by screaming because we wouldn't let her open half of the presents (this also meant that the video footage we took of DS with the presents is ruined.)

I know she needs me but the idea of taking this child on full time for 2 months fills me with horror. But she KNOWS I have nothing else on so excusing my decision is going to be so hard.

Hey Bitzi-Felicity? Cheeky bitch!

Remember the police women that got told off for helping each other out even as friends and for free?

To be fair that was overturned as it was completely ridiculous.

Yep, the felicity I know is a little madam. But bitch I am not.

I've been thinking about this! I think you should say you've looked into it and realise it's illegal to have other people's children unless you are a qualified childminder. When she says 'oh, but that's only when you pay them', say-'what, you're proposing that I look after your child everyday for 6 weeks for no money!?'

I think that is the crux of it

Would you work full time in Tesco for no money?

YANBU at all. Sounds like a nightmare on stilts. I have to say though, I do feel for the little girl; it's not doing her any favours to bring her up like that and one day she'll be brought sickeningly down to earth. And it's not her fault.

Well for our summer holidays, we'll probably go and see my mum - but haven't fixed dates yet. Will probably go camping - depending on when the weather's good. Will maybe get a week abroad, if we can find a deal. So it would be very difficult to commit to taking another dc for the whole six weeks. Could you find an excuse along those lines?

Oh goody, I get to quote something I have read many times on MN.

NO is a complete sentence.

Use it :)

Actually you are what she needs. Won't say much (as I haven't name changed!) but have been in same situation - took 3 days and then she was lovely. Actually the DC has a really kind nature and is willing to please.

I understand why you don't want to do it and YANBU.

But if you do I found the 'here we get our own drinks - juice is here', 'we don't shout in this house', walking away and doing something extra fun with DC's behaving soon worked.

Course as soon as her mum came to get her she turned into Verucca Salt again.

And being the complete bitch I am I showed her mum (my BF) all the videos I took of the kids enjoying themselves ad how well behaved she could be.

Her mum then got tough and all's sorted.

I think it would be great fun! How often do you get chance to take an annoying DC and sort them out? I bet you could do it!

What TheProvincialLady said. She's got a cheek to even ask.

The only way I'd do it is to be completely frank with your friend and tell her some of the things you can't tolerate, and say you'll do it only if you are allowed to be like supernanny!

...But then I am rather outspoken at times. If you think you'd lose your friend ignore me!

One thing's for certain; you're not being nasty or unreasonable. Saying that makes me think you may guilt yourself into just saying yes, or allow your friend to guilt you into it. Be strong. If you do it, make sure you're in a position to give that repellent child some rules!

I can see where the bratty DD gets her sense of entitlement from - her mother. Who thinks it is OK to ask a friend to look after their child every day for six weeks? I don't know anyone so presumptious.

Don't do it.

Don't make excuses, OP, don't make up reasons why you can't - just tell her straight. She'll see straight through some of the excuses that have been posted here.

You can't as you are not a childminder and will get in trouble with Ofsted if you get ANY payment for looking after this child.
And do you really want to look after her out of the goodness of your heart?..
thought not

Your friend needs to sort out some childcare and not assume that others will pick up her children. Some hard lessons will need to be learnt for parent and child as childminders can refuse care if a child affects others in their care too much, especially when they turn 8yrs old.

Little miss, needs to find out the truth about the way the world works.

I dont think I would be prepared to do this for family (and I love my nieces to bits) never mind a child who is as difficult as she sounds.

I have a friend who I love to bits and love spending time with, as long as her kids are not with her, she has two who sound like precious.

Im not good at sayi no outright I would have to give a reason, so would probably go with the illegal thing

Just say 'I'm happy to do a few days, but can't take on the whole 2 months'

Don't offer any days. Because IME, people like this, when you give them an inch, they take a mile. The only way to deal with cheeky folks like this is to say no firmly, and repeat until they get the message. No excuses. No apologies. 'No, that doesn't work for me.' On repeat play.

You see, I would have avoided your dilemma. There is no way the mother would have wanted to ask me to look after her brat.

Not after I'd slapped her child when she hit my puppy with her sandal.

Precious is popular because of First Ladies' Detective Agency maybe.
When I was little[at the end of WW2] my family used to give up lots of their sugar/butter etc rations to me.My grandma always said,'The bairn's priority in this house.'One day a visitor asked my name and I [aged 2] said,'I'm Pwiowity!!'
boaking encouraged but it made them stop saying it :)

Precious, I'm thinking Gollum.

Don't do it.....your whole summer will be ruined.

I'm thinking of that unfortunate film with the hugely fat girl pregnant with her own father's baby. Urgh.

She wants you to have her daughter every day from before 9 until after 5 over 6 - 8 weeks.

Wow that is a massive ask even if the child is an angel.

What about the days you want to slob around in your pj's, unshowered and with your hair unbrushed?

What about any days you want to go out as a family?

What about any days you want to palm your children off onto a mate and breath yourself?

What about food/snacks etc?

What if you or your children are ill?

What if her child is ill?

What about if you your children don't want her princess around ruling the roost and doing everything she wants all day every day?

What about if she wants to go out for drinks after work with her new work colleagues? Or nice long lunches down the pub while you tear your hair out looking after them all?

What if she is just flaming late time after time due to traffic? Or drops off earlier and earlier?

There are other methods of childcare over the holidays. Offer to help her on the days that suit you and tell her she will have to make alternative arrangements for the rest.

Say no.

But I bet she's nowhere near as foul at school.