Right, just read ShowofHands analysis, can't disagree with that.
Also, I really disliked Rachel, but she was always portrayed as the rich super bitch and Ross the poor, hopelessly in love, well intentioned geek boy, so the balance of sympathies was always with him. Which I think was basically misogynistic.
Obviously this is a fun thread, but I do think this is important, because I think popular culture - especially something as long running as Friends, which was a multi million dollar earning, water cooler phenomenon for a years - feeds into our ideas of what is right and wrong in our rl social interactions and behaviours; especially if you are young and don't have much experience of romantic relationships. There was something in the news lately about Mills & Boon giving women a skewed idea of what is acceptable or realistic in a romantic relationship. I think the Friends/Rachel/Ross relationship dressed up a fair amount of abusive behaviour as comedy and made us think that, on the face of it, Ross was misunderstood and really a nice guy. I don't think he was.
I think he actually hated Rachel, and his whole romance of her was an attempt to "win", to defeat her. He was obsessed with her as a youngster. She didn't know he existed. Instead of that just being normal, she is somehow meant to have realised what a great guy was hiding under the spotty geek exterior. It is turned into Rachel's fault that Ross' passion is unrequited. Stalker manifesto rule number 1.
In the Brad Pitt episode, it is revealed that Ross co-founded the "I hate Rachel Green Society" at school. They spread a rumour about her being a hermaphrodite. This is not the act of a nice person; again, he is punishing Rachel because he is in love with her, but she not with him. More stalker behaviour.
When she turns up in NY and starts her new life, all the friends help Rachel, but Ross in particular does not do this out of disinterested friendship, more out of self interest. Rachel is reduced from prom queen to waitress and it is when she is reduced to a lowly position that he believes he can make his move on her. He begins to believe he has a right to be her boyfriend, because he has waited so long and they are now friends. When Paolo comes along, Ross tries to warn him off, tells him that Rachel is his (Ross's).
Ross is only magnanimous towards Rachel's romantic relationship with other men when he is with other women himself. And in these relationships, he follows the same pattern each time. Falls very hard, gets involved very deep, very quickly, declares they are "the one", drops them very quickly. First Julie, then Bonnie, with slight variations, but basically the same behaviour with Emily and Mona. Each time he is with one of these other women, Ross "allows" Rachel to have her own romances. When he is single, he is immediately jealous of anyone she might be with.
He sulked when Rachel
He was threatened when she wanted to become something other than a waitress. At the coffee shop, he could keep tabs on her. She could not become beyond him again in that lowly job. Not so at Bloomingdales. I've posted about his treatment of her career above. He holds it in contempt.
He takes absolutely no responsibility for his part in anything. He always turns it around on Rachel. His behaviour as an adolescent, her fault. His failure to ask her out and starting a relationship with Julie, her fault. The list - her fault for not understanding. His jealousy and undermining her in the workplace - her fault for not spending enough time with him and slipping away from him. His jealousy over mark - her fault for spending time with a colleague, not his fault for showing no trust when no reason to mistrust has been given. Sleeping with copy girl - Rachel's fault, he was upset, they were on a break. Rachel finding this out - everyone else's fault who failed to cover up for him. Rachel not forgiving him - her fault for being unreasonable. Rachel's pregnancy - her fault, she seduced him (he was helpless, of course, not able to stop himself or use a condom).
The rages. Already discussed above. Not acceptable behaviour.
In the denouement, Rachel is "tamed". She does not go to start a new life. He "wins"
He has a proprietary and patronising attitude to Monica also. He was angry at the relationship with Chandler until he found out it was love, not just sex. Well what business was it of his either way? He is always invading her personal space.I think he conspires by silence and inaction in their parents' blatant favouritism. He never sticks up for her with them. He is jealous of her pluck and never fails to tell her that her childhood victories over him resulted from her being fat.
He is also a greasy haired, whiny fuck