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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that if you tell someone that your child is vegetarian...

461 replies

Tollund · 12/07/2011 12:11

that they should respect this and not then try to feed them meat?!

At a birthday party with DS1 who is four and a parent there offered my DS a sausage. DS took one (as he didn't know is it was veggie or not) and I politely said to the man "thank you, but he's vegetarian."

He said "yes, I know, they told me that. But I thought I'd see if he wanted one, and he took one, so let him have it."

I ignored him and told DS not to eat it.

THe man then started on at me about how I should let him make his own choices and to let him eat it which I refused to be drawn into, politely telling him no and then walking away.

He then went up to the mother of the child whose party it was (about 10 feet away from me) and starts banging on about me not letting him eat meat!

I think this man was monumentally ignorant - why does he think he is in a position to make food choices for my four year old child? What if DS was Jewish? Or had allergies? I'm now loathe to let my DS anywhere near this man's child or to go to parties where this man might be - IABU? (I don't think I'm BU in terms of making dietary decisions for my son at this time in his life, but whether am BU in wanting to keep my DS very far away from that tool!)

OP posts:
HeadfirstForHalos · 12/07/2011 16:54

Haha! The Grange Hill sausage Grin

I wouldn't want to visit a country where eating dog is considered mormal npractice either. We were common and went caravanning at Haven with our pooch the other week, that's fine by me :)

There's a country that eats guinea pigs too (I think it's Papua new Guinea but that seems to obvious?). I once accidentally came across a pic of one served on a plate with blardy chips of all things when using google images.

DogsBestFriend · 12/07/2011 16:54

I know, FS. :) I did say that I can only do my absolute damnedest not to and that I'm aware that as far as protest-effectiveness is concerned my efforts have miniscule effects upon China et al. :o

The most I can hope for, and have had, is other people taking the same stance when they realise why I think as I do... strength in numbers and all that jazz.

HeadfirstForHalos · 12/07/2011 16:55

Sorry for all the typos, can't get used to dhs laptop (my pc died :()

NoHunIntended · 12/07/2011 16:56

DBF, I hear you, Sista!

Bunbaker · 12/07/2011 16:57

"of course you can travel and stick to a vegetarian diet. i have friends who have done lots of travelling and managed to stick to a vegetarian diet, it is not hard but in some countries they do not understand why you would not eat meat as it is a luxury one they feel we can afford."

I read a couple of food forums and some of the posters there are extremely well travelled. They have commented that in some countries it is difficult to get a good vegetarian meal, and even harder to get vegan food - parts of eastern Europe and Russia and places like Argentina or South Africa where they are incredibly carnivorous. In some parts of the world they assume vegetarians eat fish.

Personally, I don't understand why some people can't accept that some people don't eat meat or fish - whether it is for ethical, religious or health reasons it doesn't matter. I wouldn't want to follow a vegan diet myself, apart from not being that good for my health it would represent a diet of hardship and sacrifice. But that is a personal view and in no way a criticism of anyone else's choice of diet.

grumpypants · 12/07/2011 16:59

op yanbu man was ignorant. my four dcs are all veggie, brought up from birth that way, and i chose to become vegetarian at 16.

totally agree with the poster who said meat eating is not the default - that doesn't really apply in an advanced society does it? or should we go back to mother nature's default settings on everything?

personally i think choosing to eat dead flesh is vile, and cannot see why anyone would feed it to their dcs. but i don't care enough to lecture anyone, unprompted. there are enough terrible things being done to children without getting all stroppy about feeding a diet of 100% vegetables and dairy etc to a child.

and as for all the meat eaters claiming to use organic, humanely killed animals only? really? i've been to morrissons and seen the scramble for chicken nuggets at the frozen aisle.

NoHunIntended · 12/07/2011 17:01

No hardship or sacrifice here Bunbaker. We have glorious feasts.

threefeethighandrising · 12/07/2011 17:03

I like to use the example of eating of dog / horse etc to give meat eaters an idea of how I feel about eating pig / cow etc.

As far as I'm concerned it's all the same. The only reason people think cow / pig etc are OK is because they've been desensitised to it IMO, but really what's the difference from eating dog?

Bunbaker · 12/07/2011 17:04

"totally agree with the poster who said meat eating is not the default"

I was under the impression that back in the days when we were all living in caves that meat formed a major part of the diet.

"and as for all the meat eaters claiming to use organic, humanely killed animals only? really? i've been to morrissons and seen the scramble for chicken nuggets at the frozen aisle"

And I bet the chicken nugget eaters don't eat organic meat. I make my own chicken "nuggets" with free range chicken.

DogsBestFriend · 12/07/2011 17:06

I reckon I have the answer to why some people are so aggressively argumentative with vegetarians and vegans.

They know that we hold the higher moral ground and feel guilty and/or insecure about it so they try to fight back by denouncing our lifestyles, calling into question our style of parenting and ridiculing. They can't handle the fact that despite knowing we are right they're unable/unwilling to risk the very criticism they dish out or admit they are wrong so they go on the attack.

grumpypants · 12/07/2011 17:06

bunbaker - read the whole sentence - nice try.

threefeethighandrising · 12/07/2011 17:08

"There's a country that eats guinea pigs too"

Guinea pig is the national dish of Peru.

Pigs are far more intelligent that Guinea pigs, aren't they? Eating a pig seems worse to me somehow (but then I've never been that fond of guinea pigs!)

But there's really not much difference between a guinea pig and a rabbit is there, and rabbit is fairly accepted here, or at least it used to be.

(Although personally I think eating any of the above is wrong.)

Original poster
Tollund · 12/07/2011 17:08

Grin DBF

OP posts:
Ephiny · 12/07/2011 17:09

"was under the impression that back in the days when we were all living in caves that meat formed a major part of the diet."

Quite possibly less than people imagine, as obtaining meat would have meant a fair amount of effort and some danger on the part of the hunters. Not an expert though, so I could be wrong!

But either way, I think it's all a bit irrelevant now that most of us have access to supermarkets and shops well stocked with vegetarian and vegan foods - most of us don't need to eat meat any more in order to get all the nutrients we need, doing so is a lifestyle choice.

WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 12/07/2011 17:09

threefeethighandrising That's what I was going to say. I don't eat meat but feel differently about people eating dog/ginea pig only because it is more unusual not because it is actually any worse. As disgusted as some meat eaters (and I've heard them in RL) are about dog eating is how I feel about eating ALL meat. I don't see any difference apart from what our society is used to.

FreudianSlipper · 12/07/2011 17:09

DogsBF thats great to stick to your convictions or try to, i am a bit more fickle Blush

Bun i think a vegan diet woudl be very hard. often when i have travelled if you are invited in to a family home they will give you the best meat, i was served lung at the hotel i was staying at in vietnam, as they were concerned i had lost weight and it is full of iron. very sweet of them but i coudl not eat it which worried them even more :(

LineRunner · 12/07/2011 17:09

The hunter-gatherer diet was largely vegetarian, with our teeth adapted for stripping and grinding down plants. Palaeolithic (old stone age) infant coprolites (fossilised shit) shows a vegetarian diet.

Meat may have been a 'high status' food but it wasn't necessarily the staple it's been portrayed as in the popular media.

WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 12/07/2011 17:09

"was under the impression that back in the days when we were all living in caves that meat formed a major part of the diet."

we don't live in caves any more so I fail to see how that is relevant.

DogsBestFriend · 12/07/2011 17:10

Pigs are indeed highly intelligent, threefeet.

Guinea pigs, on the other hand, are boring, squeaky little buggers far less so. :o

SpecialFriedRice · 12/07/2011 17:10

OP YANBU

You may not be able to avoid the crazy sausage man. But YWNBU to try to avoid socialising with him. You clearly have different ethics anyway so hardly a friendship match made in heaven!

I hate the argument that you are forcing a choice on a child. Well giving them meat is also forcing a choice. And those that say well the child is only x years old let them choose - Would you let a 2,3,4,5 year old just eat whatever they wanted?

I am vegetarian as is my 3 yo DD. It's for ethical reasons. But I could also say its for health reasons. Would that make it more acceptable to people. Just look up the health benefits of vegetarianism. Would you judge someone who didn't eat veal for ethical reasons? I know many people who won't eat it as they think its cruel (despite eating beef - go figure!)

quirrelquarrel · 12/07/2011 17:10

Vegeterianism is a lifestyle choice like healthy eating. If this man was feeding your kid junk food in the same context, you would not be being unreasonable in being miffed. Are we saying that kids should make all choices as soon as they can voice an opinion? No, it's for the parents.

Besides, people can say that your DS doesn't have allergies, but the man didn't know that. Who does he think he is! It's good for kids to have few choices anyway, especially at four.

LineRunner · 12/07/2011 17:11

WhoseGotMy and see my post above!

Original poster
Tollund · 12/07/2011 17:11

Ah, there we go, we're in active convos!

I can only speak for myself, but I personally think if something dies, bury it, don't eat it. I can't differentiate between types of dead flesh, by which I mean I'd as soon eat a human hand as a beef burger. But I know that sounds a bit odd to most people.

OP posts:
wordfactory · 12/07/2011 17:14

Tollund not odd at all, though I am a devout carnevore, I respect your choices.

DBF - I'm afraid I would love to give you the little moral frison of being secretly bothered by my meat eating. I would love you to get the little swell of higher ground. But I'll be honest, I just don't feel that way. I think the vast majority of mear eaters don't. Sorry.

DogsBestFriend · 12/07/2011 17:14

Not odd in the least, Tollund. Normal, compassionate, humane, civilised, yes, but not odd.

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