Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that if you tell someone that your child is vegetarian...

461 replies

Tollund · 12/07/2011 12:11

that they should respect this and not then try to feed them meat?!

At a birthday party with DS1 who is four and a parent there offered my DS a sausage. DS took one (as he didn't know is it was veggie or not) and I politely said to the man "thank you, but he's vegetarian."

He said "yes, I know, they told me that. But I thought I'd see if he wanted one, and he took one, so let him have it."

I ignored him and told DS not to eat it.

THe man then started on at me about how I should let him make his own choices and to let him eat it which I refused to be drawn into, politely telling him no and then walking away.

He then went up to the mother of the child whose party it was (about 10 feet away from me) and starts banging on about me not letting him eat meat!

I think this man was monumentally ignorant - why does he think he is in a position to make food choices for my four year old child? What if DS was Jewish? Or had allergies? I'm now loathe to let my DS anywhere near this man's child or to go to parties where this man might be - IABU? (I don't think I'm BU in terms of making dietary decisions for my son at this time in his life, but whether am BU in wanting to keep my DS very far away from that tool!)

OP posts:
DogsBestFriend · 12/07/2011 16:34

MrsDeVere, have you been on the sauce? :o :o

WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 12/07/2011 16:35

TeenieLeek I hope all you vegetarians are comfortable with the fact that you are severely limiting your children's ability to travel and experience other cultures by instilling in them the idea that even one mouthful of meat is a huge disaster.

What the hell are you talking about! You need to eat animals to experience culture?! Shock

PlanetEarth · 12/07/2011 16:35

ContraryMartha: "I am a lifelong vegetarian. I do not eat fish, chicken, non free range eggs or any other animal product. HOWEVER, I do not impose these beliefs on my children."

The thing is, if you give them no meat, you are imposing your beliefs. If you do give them meat, you are imposing your beliefs also (i.e. the view that they should eat meat by default, even if you do not).

EggyAllenPoe · 12/07/2011 16:35

this one is moving fast...having read th efirst page.. YANBU, he was just being one of those twats that thinks they have the right to tell other people what to do with their kids.

i bet he wouldn't have patronised you like that if you were a bloke.

threefeethighandrising · 12/07/2011 16:36

We're bringing DS up with a vegetarian + fish diet.

I am fairly relaxed about him coming across meat outside of the house. When he's with us he'll be eating veggie food, but at parties etc when I'm not there I don't think there's much to be gained by trying to police it (I have certain relatives in mind who just don't see able to get what being veggie means!) If he ends up eating meat outside of the house then it's his choice IMO, but I won't be giving it to him at home. My idea is that we'll be showing him what a healthy veggie diet is, but it's ultimately up to him to choose what to eat, especially as he gets older.

However this is completely different. You were there, next to your DS. What a knobber that guy was!

It doesn't matter how strange your "rules" for your DS were (although being vege is hardly out there these days is it?!), other people should respect them not undermine you.

No matter how wierd I thought other parents were being I'd never undermine them like that. What a tosspot!

threefeethighandrising · 12/07/2011 16:37

"I really want a veggie sausage emoticon!"

That reminded me of the Grange Hill theme sausage, do you remember it?

FreudianSlipper · 12/07/2011 16:37

of course you can travel and stick to a vegetarian diet. i have friends who have done lots of travelling and managed to stick to a vegetarian diet, it is not hard but in some countries they do not understand why you would not eat meat as it is a luxury one they feel we can afford.

while living in tunisia one of my friends who is a vegetarian (always has been) came to visit, we were invited to a friends house for dinner. i did let them know, so they served up a lovely dish of couscous, they gave her a separate plate and just picked the meat out :o

she ended up eating bread and cheese and they cooked a veggie couscous dish for her the following day

i have eaten dog too, was not aware and i think it tasted like beef, it was in vietnam. i didn't realise the cute little drawing of animals on the menus were of the meat that they served

WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 12/07/2011 16:39

sausagesandmarmelade I do hope that the hosts of this party are on mumsnet, recognise the OP and fully read all of the comments. I think if they did so, they would probably do things very differently next time....and not invite the parents (who in this instance) seem to have caused far more problems than the children. Don't think she would be too pleased either that another parent was labelled a paedophile on here.... Unbelievable!

Wow you're sounding vindictive now! (pretty sure the paedo comment was a joke)

threefeethighandrising · 12/07/2011 16:40

Sorry I digress.

Couldn't help myself Grin

WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 12/07/2011 16:41

The lack of tolerance is absolutely incredible....more so...because you are parents of developing children. Very worrying....and I hope your children won't display the same lack of tolerance towards others with different views to themselves.

No sausage . . . YOU are intolerant.

DogsBestFriend · 12/07/2011 16:41

Just a thought - what hardline self-respecting vegetarian or vegan would want to visit and to add to the economy of a country whose peoples eat dog? I'm damned if I would and even here in the UK do my absolute damnedest not to buy items made in Korea, China and the like by way of miniscule protest.

EggyAllenPoe · 12/07/2011 16:43

i love Sosmix. it was great - sosmix crumble was a household favourite. i also loved dalepak veggie grills. better still, the breadcrumb-coated veggie grills.

FreudianSlipper · 12/07/2011 16:43

they do not eat any breed of dog they eat certain breeds, dogs are breed to eat, like we do here with cows, pigs, sheep, ostrich

we eat rabbit (i do not) and many people keep them as pets.

NoHunIntended · 12/07/2011 16:43

I am VERY comfortable with the fact that I am instilling principles, consideration and compassion into my child, as well as giving him a healthy headstart in life.

I DO think one sausage is perpetuating the cruelty that is the meat industry. This family want absolutely no part in it. It horrifies and disgusts me. I will stand by my principles. I will raise my child to do the same. I shan't just bow down to the majority view, just because it's been perpetuated for hundreds of years and most of you don't want to challenge the status quo.

What I AM limiting, is my child's chances of becoming poorly, getting cancer, heart disease, etc.

My point, Teenie, is that of COURSE we don't just blithely accept whatever is put in front of us. We live by our consciences, we examine and explore, and we make a decision.

WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 12/07/2011 16:43

SofiaAmes Well said.

LadyClariceCannockMonty · 12/07/2011 16:44

Wow, thanks threefeet! I love that sausage. If that's not a weird thing to say.

HeadfirstForHalos · 12/07/2011 16:44

Yep, if you believe your dc should eat meat, and you feed them meat then you are imposing your beliefs.

Personally I have no desire to eat meat, I don't believe eating meat is necessary for a healthy diet, and in fact can be very unhealthy, and I believe eating animals is morally and environmentally unsound.

Other people believe differently, but we all instill our beliefs in our dc until they are of an age to choose for themselves. Who's to say which of us is wrong/right?

Original poster
Tollund · 12/07/2011 16:45

threefeet Grin - think we can get a sausage icon if we ask nicely enough?

OP posts:
EggyAllenPoe · 12/07/2011 16:45

i loved visiting china. i don't think i ate og - although i did eat some fairly generic soups (probably not dog: dog is expensive) of dubious provenance.

animal rights is way down my list of 'shit China should sort out'. Visiting is't necessarily a barrier to attaining that particular list of objctives.

Ephiny · 12/07/2011 16:45

I wouldn't want to go to those countries either, DogsBestFriend. I'd no more eat dog than I'd eat human body parts.

Anyway I prefer my dog-friendly holidays in the UK these days :)

WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 12/07/2011 16:46

thefirstMrsDeVere Don't actually live in the "Stow" but only a couple miles away and used to spend a lot of time there as my boyfriend (suddenly sounding 12!) used to live there. Which bit do you live in, or is that too identifying?

Can hear Grange Hill theme tune in my head Grin

Original poster
Tollund · 12/07/2011 16:47

Well said NoHun

OP posts:
WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 12/07/2011 16:48

How DO you get into discussion of the day? What do we need to do [gets pen and paper and starts making plans/drawing diagrams]

DogsBestFriend · 12/07/2011 16:49

FS, as one who doesn't eat rabbit, cow, pig, sheep, chicken, trout or anything else that has a face on it I don't give a stuff what breed of dog it is, it's all wrong, evil and barbaric.

(Not a snap at you, btw, just explaining where I'm coming from. :) )

FreudianSlipper · 12/07/2011 16:50

that is fair enough then

you are going to have problems in not buying anything from china though :o or from chinese manufacturers as they are all over the world now

Swipe left for the next trending thread