In thinking that Jo Frost should shut the fuck up about breastfeeding

[spudulika]

... as she clearly knows nothing about it.

If you want proof have a look at the new Jo Frost magazine (no need to buy it of course, just do what I do - rifle through it at the supermarket ). Article on breastfeeding 'how long, and when to stop'.

She seems to think that 'weaning' means stopping breastfeeding.

And she feels the need to say 'I'm the biggest fan of breastfeeding, but I don't think mothers should be made to feel like the scum of the earth for not doing it. Whatever choice you make is fine!' To which I want to respond: if I wanted to read vapid platitudes about breastfeeding I'd go to Netmums. It's free. Whereas your magazine costs... bloody loads.

It's just not asseptable.

She needs to pull her socks up.

I do appretiate that pointy, I still think the programes exploit desperate people who could be better helped in other ways

Well I run twice a week and I struggle to catch my 7 year old, maybe I have quick kids

I think she helps them very well. I can't think of a better way of helping with parenting than going into the house, putting up rotas, setting up routines, talking you through it as tantrums happen, videoing them, taLKINng them through videos (an excellent way of learning).

tHE ONLY aspect of it that's not great is televising it to the nation.

Why would you need to catch your 7 year old?

In a race ?

I suppose. I have never had a full on race with teh dds.

I have to go and now, I suggest regular contact with other parents in similar situations perhaps through a parenting course running for several weeks might be better

Or a game of tag?

For obvious reasons I express no opinion on the exact question posed by OP - but I think Jo Frost should shut the fuck up about everything.

"Key to feeling in control is being fully informed about ALL choices, and ALL risks and having the freedom to make those choices without judgement - and not 'being controlled' by the personal the views of others. "

But we're none of us truly free when it comes to making decisions about these things. You can make all the birth plans you like, but when you get into hospital you're completely reliant on the skills and the attitude of the staff who look after you - unless you're very confident and bolshy. There are literally hundreds of birth stories on this site by women convinced that midwives and doctors buggered up their chance of having a normal birth. Some labour wards operate like factories. My local one does. Friend was telling me her birth story yesterday - that she'd got into hospital at 7cm dilated, having coped well at home but quickly becoming distressed on arrival. She said the midwife didn't make eye contact with her or properly engage with her, made no suggestions as to coping strategies, insisted on CEFM despite unit guidelines that this shouldn't be offered to low risk mums, then came back and offered pethidine every five minutes until the mum gave in. She had the pethidine, which she said she really, really didn't want, but was so desperate and stressed she didn't know what else to do. Was sick for two hours. Still in pain. Midwife came back and encouraged her to have an epidural, and then sat and ignored her in the corner, writing up someone else's notes. Crap care which ended in a difficult birth and a baby needing readmitting to hospital on day 6 because of problems caused at delivery.

Point I'm making - unless you're offering women a VIABLE and ACCESSIBLE alternative, they can never have truly free and informed choice when it comes to pain relief (and actually quite a lot of other things as well).

At what point does a mum who has struggled through jaundice, poor latching, nipples cracks, 7 hour clusters feeds and consistently crap advice, including being told to offer formula when she's made it abundantly clear that she is desperate to breastfeed, become one of the smug, judgey ones?

Spud you are so right about birthing mothers begin totally dependant on their midwives. I was lucky to have a superb mw who really cared and who supported me with my birth plan despite difficulties. I am haunted by how things could have been had I had a less caring midwife. I am so getting a doula next time!!

gah
breastfeeding SO isnt ALL THAT

looks at clever healthy sporty son
really
if its shit give up 0 its not on their cv

"pigletmania Tue 12-Jul-11 09:35:15
"2 years and beyond"

And even up to 13 years and adulthood."

Sorry, who is breastfeeding at 13/adulthood? have I missed a story?

Yawn - again, so many defensive People on here who can't wait to post and dismiss how brilliant the benefits of bf are...

Spud - I agree with a lot of what you say.

Yawn - again, so many people on here utterly overstating the significance of BF in the great parenting scheme of things.

BF is great. But there are many things that have a far, far more profound influence on a child's wellbeing.

Spud you asked upthread what I meant by extended BF - I meant continuing BF beyond the point at which an infant is dependant on it as their main source of nutrition.

Really? More profound than offering protection against numerous ailments, illnesses and even cancer?! Well eachbtontheir own... Bf is more than great and extended bf has amazing benefits.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and should not be judged by others for which ever way they decide to feed and should not feel pressured into either way of feeding it should be an individual choice.

Jo Frost is ok some of her advice is good and some rather iffy.

Also what magazine is being referred to on here as I have not seen nor heard of a new magazine by Jo Frost.

Yanbu, she ought not to equate introduction to solids with ceasing bf. 2 different things.

I watched her show on C4 last night and though her loud shouty bits in shopping centres annoy the shit out of me I thought the way she got that boy eating and the little girl who was being bullied to gain confidence was great.

I think Frost is just a tv created character. Goodbye, hello and not welcome

I wonder who it is who's making Mums who chose to bottle feed (at any point) 'feel bad'. I have only ever read/heard people saying that 'they shouldn't be made to feel bad'. All the NHS info I've ever had/read has been informative, supportive and non-judgemental.
To open the flood gates- dare I say.... Is it those Mum's who CHOOSE to bottle feed (not those who HAVE to, obviously) who feel bad, and then project on to society that it's society making them feel bad......????
I'm totally up for people refuting this theory btw
Also all the swearing going on makes things feel a little aggressive... (more flood gates?)

GGgowiththeflow I don't think so, not on the whole.

There is very much an attitude, not from everybody but from some, that it is okay to bottlefeed if you can't breastfeed and that therefore choosing to do it is somehow less acceptable.

Just by making that distinction yourself in your post you have reinforced it a bit.

And many mums who genuinely can't breastfeed do feel guilty, perhaps much more so than the ones who can but choose not to. I've seen lots of posts on forums from people who feel that they have let themselves and their babies down because they genuinely cannot breastfeed when they wanted too.

I tried to breastfeed my son but it didn't work out. I was bleeding badly and he was starving. They were about to hospitalise us both when we made the very right decision to formula feed from then on.

But I have had a small number of people tell me that I just didn't try hard enough and that only 1% of people can't breastfeed so the rest of us who say we couldn't are wrong. Sod them, they weren't there, they didn't see the struggle we had or the very detrimental effect my determination to breastfeed had on me and my son.

And as I said, my friend was accused by a doctor of making her child ill because she didn't breastfeed. Turned out her child had cystic fibrosis, undiagnosed for many months, partly because the doctor had his judgy pants on and wouldn't consider any alternative reasons for her ill health.

Some people may be oversensitive and mistake positive reasons for breastfeeding to be criticism but not all. I think most have had a run in with at least one over zealous person who was out to make someone feel bad though, either way. Look on any forum and you will see posts by people who FF saying they have had a run in with someone who has judged them and made them feel bad. You will also see the same from people who BF saying they've had the same, mainly while feeding in public or from unsupportive family.

But either way, it doesn't matter. Nobody should be made to feel bad for their choice of feeding method, BF or FF. It really doesn't matter if it's just a handful of people who are really trying to make someone feel bad or if it is hoards of them as the OP feels Jo Frost was implying.

One person doing it is one too many and so, again, I feel Jo Frost was right to say that nobody should be made to feel bad because of the method they use to feed their own child.

Ok, thanks, good to hear about your experiences and your feelings on the subject. I will have a look for some forums concerning this topic so I can find out more about it all.
Must have been really tough for you and your baby. I'm sure he's happy and healthy now!
I thought it was more than 1% of women who had physical reasons why they couldn't bf? even 1% of all new mums would be thousands of women, so assuming a woman isn't in that 1% and just hasn't tried is very judgemental. I agree.
The whole not tried hard enough issue is for me, indication that the woman's support network needs to be as good as possible for bfing. If a health visitor/midwife/mum/friend really had the woman and baby's best interests at heart, surely they would be able to distinguish between 'not trying' and a genuine reason why a woman cant bf? It suggest some nhs services and post natal services get it very wrong....
Really this is for another forum.....

I see 'just not trying' as 'making a valid choice over how to feed their child' and 'what to do with their own body'... There are critical and strong value judgement made about women who choose not to BF, which are unfair and wrong IMHO.

There's also that 1% of women can't BF - that they have an underlying physical condition which makes successful lactation etc possible.

I suspect the proportion of babies who can't be BFed is higher when you take into account perm babies with immature reflexes, babies with intolerances/needing special formula, babies with tongue tie etc. And whilst many of those problems are solvable either by medical intervention like snipping a tt or the mother's actions like pumping or altering her diet it takes time to get a diagnosis by which point many have given up and with good reason.

But so what if a mother chooses to FF? It's her choice and no, she shouldn't feel bad about it. However the other slant to that article about normalising BFing up to 6 months and then weaning both onto solid food and off the breast is harmful and undermines BFing in a way that saying one shouldn't judge FFing doesn't.