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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to absolutely veto DDs plans for Newquay after GCSEs next year?

106 replies

AtYourCervix · 10/07/2011 21:54

Apparently all teenagers go to Newquay after GCSEs. Absolutely everyone.

I have said 'No'. I mean No.

I am a neglectful relaxed kind on mother but Ithe line must be drawn somewhere and this is it.

AIBU?

OP posts:
lubberlich · 12/07/2011 19:40

Apparently Newquay has had enough of puking/shagging/stoned teens and has put its collective foot down ... so by next year it may just be teeming with old loves on coach trips from Scunthorpe.

oneofsuesylvesterscheerios · 12/07/2011 19:45

well, if it is, any teen of mine would be most welcome to go Grin

Sparklies · 12/07/2011 19:46

EggyAllenPoe - I've been at the sex and drunk and stoned parties on beaches way back when, but nobody ever did cliff diving thank goodness. That's not to say it doesn't go on because I'm sure it does - but I don't think it was that popular as most locals knew better or at least all the ones I knew did!

Plenty went on alright, it's just none of it was quite as out there as what went on in Newquay. Or Rock, for that matter (over the river from Padstow). Most of the time it was with groups of friends who at least vaguely knew each other and would look out for each other, rather than the meat market that is Newquay at night.

As another poster has commented - it doesn't feel safe even as an adult in the evenings. On the rare occasions I have been there in the evening, it felt a lot more scary than anywhere else.

Such a waste of a pretty town.

Oblomov · 12/07/2011 19:50

Newquay was always a bit of a shithole. It was just over-hyped back then. Most of my surfy friends preferred Polzeath.
And yes it has gone alot more downhill in the last 10 years.
Mind you, I was a very mature 16 yer old and went to a cheltenham type festival with a few freinds, at the end of my GCSE's, and had a fab time.
Its it just Newquay OP objects to? Is her dd not mature enough to go away at all ?

minipie · 12/07/2011 19:54

YANBU

If she's not sensible, she'll get blotto/take drugs/have unprotected sex. fall off cliffs/annoy the residents.

If she's sensible and wouldn't do any of those things, then she wouldn't enjoy it anyway.

A half way house would be much better. There must be somewhere that is fun but not as crazy as Newquay, surely?

maypole1 · 12/07/2011 19:59

Yes agreed I think one of these festivals such as love box were you have to pay to go their are stewards and police.

mippy · 12/07/2011 20:02

"ALLLLLL kids go to Newquay after their GCSEs"

Noooooooooo they don't. At least, not where I did mine.

Mind you, we used to go underage drinking all the time, so it sounds not dissimilar except without the curfew. However, my dad wouldn't let me go to V Festival - one of the most corporate 'safe' festivals there - with my then=boyfriend and friends when I was 16, because 'things go on at those festivals'. Apparently, it was better for a lone teenager to travel back on trains on a Saturday at midnight across the country...Hmm

princessglitter · 12/07/2011 20:09

I wouldn't - I remember going to Newquay at 16 and getting into a van with some strange men who were in a band. They drove us down a dirt track and luckily my mate had the sense to pretend she wanted something from a petro station, pull me out of the van and run! I didn't have any common sense though...

wordfactory · 12/07/2011 20:21

It's a way off for mine but I think I would want them to celebrate with their friends.

If not NQ, where do folk suggest as a safer alternative?

feralgirl · 12/07/2011 20:29

Bleurgh, Newquay's gruesome. We used to drink and go on the pull there as teenagers (and that was 15 years ago) and it was a dump then. It's even worse now. I think after GCSEs is too young for a drinking holiday away from home; after A-Levels is much more appropriate. Why not compromise and let her have a great big party instead?

I live not far from Newquay so prob wouldn't stop my own teenaged offspring from having a night out as I could be there to scrape them off the pavement within 30 mins but certainly don't think the OP is BU.

OpusProSerenus · 12/07/2011 20:34

All teenagers want to break free a bit and logic tells us there is nothing they can do in Newquay that they can't do elsewhere if the fancy takes them. The key is knowing when your child is ready to deal with the responsibility of going away with peers.

We never got asked about Newquay (prob because we're oop North :) and she missed all the chat about it) However we had to spend a week panicking the year after when she and her friends went to Magaluf! We let her go as she and her friends were all sensible and we felt we were reaching the point where they would resent not going.

It's very hard but you do have to let them have some freedom at some point. I think the trouble is we are probably the first generation of parents who had the chance to behave badly ourselves and remember what we got up to!

balia · 12/07/2011 20:48

I'm always wary of absolute refusals for kids of this age, specially if she's sensible and hard-working. But I'd be researching like mad to find a fantastic, challenging, fun but in a safe way holiday for after her GCSE's. Tall Ships? Something charity based? I'm sure you could sell her on something a bit less limited than getting pissed in a crappy shithole.

However, be warned that this approach has resulted in my post GCSE teen heading off to nz for 6 weeks.

peppapighastakenovermylife · 12/07/2011 20:53

I went to the other Newquay after my GCSE's. Lots of alcohol and kissing random boys on the campsite.

spiderpig8 · 12/07/2011 20:53

I wonder what accommodation lets a group of 16 yo stay there unsupervised.Even a camp site!

Georgimama · 12/07/2011 21:07

16 is too young to be going away on a piss up with friends and no adult supervision. As for those saying "what if she leaves home if you don't let her go" - by 16 you've already either won or lost that kind of battle. If she was likely to leave home if thwarted over this, the OP would be unlikely to consider whether or not she should "let" her go - she'd know it was a hopeless case. Her daughter clearly isn't likely to do something like that.

The fact that in two years she will be 18 and away at uni etc is also completely irrelevant. If there was no difference in maturity or outlook between a 16 year old and an 18 year old, then 16 year olds would go to uni, vote, be allowed to buy alcohol etc. You do a lot of growing up in those 2 years (and a lot more afterwards of course).

I can't imagine where they could stay anyway. I went on a friend's hen do to Newquay a few years ago (shuddders at memory) and the only place that would take hen or stag parties was a caravan park called Sunnyside. It was the pits.

Georgimama · 12/07/2011 21:10

But then I don't understand when it became the norm for kids to go off on these kinds of jaunts after their GCSEs. A levels - yes. Is this really normal after GCSEs now? No one did things like this when I was 16 (except private school pupils who went to Rock, took drugs/got pissed and ended up having their stomachs pumped).

(I am only 32 so really not that much of a gimmer)

bubaluchy · 12/07/2011 22:18

I grew up there, the town centre is quite 'touristy stag and hen nighty' but the beach is all acoustic guitars, camp fires, surfing, healthy people, Watergate bay has Jamie Oliver's restaurant on it and an academy where you can learn various water sports, it is so beautiful there- let her go!

emilykettle · 12/07/2011 22:39

Myself and a group of girl friends all went to Newquay post A-level (2/3 years ago) and it was nothing like it was made out to be by the press.

Sure, we went clubbing etc, but we all stuck together - no-one got high, did drugs or 'got' shagged. It was lovely. Beach by day and then out in the evening. Had a really good time.

I think YABU/YANBU depends on your daughter - is she sensible? If you've ever seen the BBC3 programme about teenagers holidaying abroad, its normally never as bad as parents assume.

Saying that, it might just be case of letting her learn from her mistakes.
x

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 12/07/2011 22:49

Newquay is regularly on the local news for all the wrong reasons.

I don't think I'd object to the away thing just the location.

InPraiseOfBacchus · 13/07/2011 11:02

16 is not too young to go holidaying on one's own. Don't forget, people can move out to their own homes at 16 if they really want to.

Perhaps suggest something more tame, like a centerparcs-style getaway for a bit. It'll only be two years until you can't say a single word to stop her doing any earthly thing, so make sure she's ready for that, as well as you. My mother always liked to have a hand in what I did, so once I reached that age, even though I had embarrassingly safe friends and habits, I had to watch her freak out at the power void it left her with.

It's extremely unlikely that anything bad will happen, statistically speaking, but I would recommend a less trashy destination all the same. Best of luck x

CloversMama · 13/07/2011 11:17

YABU - she's 16, not 6. I went with my friends when I was 16 and loved it. Yes, we did things that I wouldn't want my mother to know about but to be honest, it was no different to any other teenage party/night out. Lots of drinking, smoking, snogging, dancing and the odd bit of shagging if I remember correctly.

I remember having a rule that I had to send my mum a text message each day I was away before noon, just to say that I was ok but that was it.

Surely at some stage you have to trust your child and cut the apron strings??

DurhamDurham · 13/07/2011 11:27

My dd1 is off to Cornwall in August, she's staying on a campsite about half an hour outside Newquay with 8 friends. They have tickets to the Boardmasters music and surf festival. It'll be the second years she's been and she's just turned 18.
I worried myself sick last year but she had a great time, ate rubbish for a week but apart from that looked v healthy when she got back. Luckily she's quite a sensible girl, as are her friends, it's a mixed gruop of boys and girls.
The only thing I insist on is that she flies down, the thought of her driving all way from Durham to Cornwall with someone who has only recently passed their driving test makes me shudder. She had to fly by herself last year but this year year another couple of girls are travelling with her.
Lots of her fiends are going to Magaluf this year so I'm just pleased she has chosen Cornwall!

Ilythia · 13/07/2011 11:54

No. Not newquay. I wouldn't be happy with a 16 yo going anywhere much but definately never never never Newquay.

MySweetPrince · 13/07/2011 13:15

Is it just Newquay you object to because of the bad press? If so could she have an alternative celebration destination with her mates - a festival or something? There are loads of small ones on now. If you are vetoing any celebrations whatsoever be prepared for the sulks and death stares that will be coming your way. :o

Meglet · 13/07/2011 13:26

YANBU. I seem to remember Sunnyside campsite was where everyone stayed and got hammered.

I've only been out in Newquay a few times (and that was 6 years ago as an adult) it was pretty intense, not a place I'd want a 16yo to go.

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