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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to absolutely veto DDs plans for Newquay after GCSEs next year?

106 replies

AtYourCervix · 10/07/2011 21:54

Apparently all teenagers go to Newquay after GCSEs. Absolutely everyone.

I have said 'No'. I mean No.

I am a neglectful relaxed kind on mother but Ithe line must be drawn somewhere and this is it.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Bunbaker · 10/07/2011 22:55

"Newquay is the UK equivalent of Ibiza.... drink, drugs, vomiting, lots of arrests... underage drinking, the occasional death due to idiotic drunken behavour, and lots of stomach pumping."

We holidayed near Padstow a couple of years ago and Newquay was constantly in the local news for all the wrong reasons. There is no way I would let a teenager of mine on the loose there.

EggyAllenPoe · 10/07/2011 22:57

my husband from them parts. the local teenagers are jsut the same, less numerous. but he didn't have it out of his system by his 20s (hence dropping out, not once, but twice from university..)

yanbu to say no, no no..

oneofsuesylvesterscheerios · 10/07/2011 23:00

YADNBU
My mate at work comes from Newquay and he was talking about this the other day - yes, the local police and council have tried to clamp down on it in the ways discussed above, but it also drives the drinking to the beaches.

When my friend was young (underage) that's where they spent their time but they all knew the coastline like the back of their hands. He said the visiting kids have loads of accidents not being able to anticipate the cliffs, the rocks, sheers drops, etc. This is how the fatalities occur, but also lots of very non-fatal accidents that don't make the headlines.

InPraiseOfBacchus · 12/07/2011 17:07

I did stuff like that at 16! We looked out for each other and had a marvellous time! Apart from the odd naughtiness, you'd think we were the Famous Five or something! Looking back it was all so very 'safe'!

AgainWhen · 12/07/2011 17:14

YABU. My DS went last year and had a great time.

ENormaSnob · 12/07/2011 17:15

What are you gonna do if she leaves home because you said no?

Ephiny · 12/07/2011 17:19

I wouldn't want her to go, so YANBU about that.

But very soon you're not going to have any control over where she goes and what she does (I'm guessing you only have any control now because she needs you to give her money for stuff!) so you might have to start getting used to the idea...

LineRunner · 12/07/2011 17:20

I went to Reading festival when I was 16. I went with my older sister and some of her friends.

Mind you, my mother didn't actually give a shit.

We had no money and got soup at the hari krishna tent and cider from some much older guys.

My own teenaged daughter already says I'm a hypocrite for over-protecting her!

Insomnia11 · 12/07/2011 17:26

I couldn't afford to go away when I finished my GCSEs but we did have a piss up in Salou in Spain when we finished our A-Levels. I think it depends on the kid, hopefully I could trust my daughters not to be too daft, or at least only as daft as I was. I'd let them go if they'd saved up the money to go. In fact when I started sixth form one of my friends (who is still a great friend BTW) had been on her own with a friend to Newquay that summer, but that was nearly 20 years ago, it probably wasn't quite such an underage mecca then.

My DH bicycled from Lands End to John O'Groats with his mate when he was 17.

chubsasaurus · 12/07/2011 17:38

YABU!!!!!!!!!!!

ALLLLLL kids go to Newquay after their GCSEs!!! At least I did, all my friends did, all the other kids I knew in Surrey did...

We then went to Reading festival on results day.

ScarlettIsWalking · 12/07/2011 17:42

DSS went and when he came back he was no longer a virgin and had tried most of the drug spectrum.

His mum was so desperate to be a cool mum she packed his bags with condoms.

michelleseashell · 12/07/2011 17:47

I still remember being 16 so I'd say you are being unreasonable. If it's not this, it will be something else and it will be soon. Better to get her somewhere safe to stay and give her enough money to be sensible with. If it was me, I'd have just gone anyway and ended up sleeping god knows where

JamieAgain · 12/07/2011 17:49

Tell her to be a bit more original.

bubaluchy · 12/07/2011 17:50

I went thre when Id finished my GCSE's it was fine, just beached all day and clubbed all night, as long as her friends look out for each other all should be well Smile

JamieAgain · 12/07/2011 17:51

W=hat about the poor people who live there?

TheFeministsWife · 12/07/2011 17:56

TBH I think you're being a bit unreasonable. My DSD went to Malia for 2 weeks just after finishing her GCSEs. She had an absolute blast, bloody loved it. She paid for the holiday herself with money from her casual job. She went again last year to Malia, again paid for herself, and in 3 weeks she's off to Ibiza again paid for by herself. When I was 16 and done my GCSEs I moved in with DH! My dad told me I couldn't but I did anyway.

I think you should let her go, TBH she'll possibly go anyway without your consent. At least if you let her go it's on your terms.

TheFeministsWife · 12/07/2011 17:57

*done - did I mean Blush

Sparklies · 12/07/2011 18:10

Shame she can't go somewhere else with a beach (and fewer cliffs)

Having a few drinks too many on a beach at 16 with a group of good friends = fine

Having a few drinks too many on a beach with thousands of pissed up strangers of the same age, sheer cliff tops (am not at all surprised at the fatalities I regularly hear about), general "free for all" atmosphere, tons of drugs = not fine

I know Newquay, I grew up in Cornwall. It's like a bubble unto itself and most of us avoided it like the plague. Much nicer places in Cornwall to go for end-of-school shenanigans that are a lot safer and probably a lot more enjoyable for the teenagers concerned too.

YANBU. Am guessing alternative destinations are ruled out though.

BimboNo5 · 12/07/2011 18:12

Thing is- what can she get up to in Newquay that she cant in her home town?

lateatwork · 12/07/2011 18:48

YANBU to have doubts... but let her go. she will dine out on it for years.

LeQueen · 12/07/2011 19:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EggyAllenPoe · 12/07/2011 19:14

sparklies Bils end-of term snenangians involved cliff diving whilst drunk & stoned....back in the day..in Cornwall. in fact from DHs stories, drunk-driving,drugs and 'sex on the beach' of a non-cocktail kind were very much going on...

they were where i live too, for those with access to the funds/ freedom with which to participate.

JamieAgain · 12/07/2011 19:17

Bimbo - an atmosphere of anything goes in a place nowhere near her family.

hairfullofsnakes · 12/07/2011 19:22

Poor Newquay has become a shit hole
So no - YANBU at all

No way would I let my kids go either

oneofsuesylvesterscheerios · 12/07/2011 19:37

If you're bothered about your underage dc (and you trust them) you will let them go somewhere to celebrate the end of their exams; a holidayish place that gives them some freedom and the chance to let a bit of steam off.

If you don't really care what goes on, you'll let them go to Newquay.

Sadly, NQ is a free-for-all for teens/hens/stags/pissheads of all descriptions. I imagine it's a living nightmare for the locals.