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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want a teenage boy telling me abortion is a sin and should never be legalised?!

225 replies

ThisMomentusDay · 10/07/2011 09:47

I never really know how to feel about abortion, i don't think i could ever have one but thankfully i've never been in a position to have to consider this so it's a very easy thing to say isn't it?
As such i'm very much sitting on the 'pro-choice' fence!
It's such a personal choice for a woman and not usually one taken lightly.

Yesterday on the street there was a stall set up with a petition to the Taoiseach (PM) to not have any sort of a referendum on legalising abortion in Ireland. Fair enough i thought, freedom of speech, right to protest etc.
Untill i was passing and a teenage boy below the voting age (and possibly the age of consent) tries to hand me the leaflets. I looked across the street and on the 4 corners of this junction there are teenage boys handing anti-abortion leaflets out to (mainly) women!

It really annoyed me, (especially as it was very obviously a catholic group and i think the church has done enough damage to the state and should stay the hell out of politics) but i just refused the leaflets and kept walking.

AIBU to have thought 'what the hell has it got to do with you?'

OP posts:
catgirl1976 · 10/07/2011 12:18

I agree with you gorionine, however I think being raised in the catholic faith in ireland and being involved in this pressure group and only being 14 years old makes it likely that these particualr teenagers have not heard both sides of the debate and have not been allowed to freely form their own opinions.

SardineQueen · 10/07/2011 12:18

There are situations where people have to fight, gorionine.

To say that war is always wrong or abortion is always wrong are quite similar in a way. It doesn't take into account the actual complexities of life or the world.

catgirl1976 · 10/07/2011 12:19

and at 13 did you not think all war is bad and then as you got older found it to be slightly more complex?

suburbophobe · 10/07/2011 12:25

I would be extremely pissed off if walking down the street some twatty 14-year-old was foisting his opinions on me and telling me how to live my life!!

mayorquimby · 10/07/2011 12:28

"I am all for people (including teenagers) having opinions and for lobbying for causes they support - so they should. That is much better than kids taking drugs and getting into trouble.

However, I have issues with those that jump on bandwagons because they haven't heard/researched/been informed of the other side"

So you're all for teenagers holding strong opinions as long as they meet your subjective criteria?
Don't agree with their message but I agree wholeheartedly with their right to express it.

Birdsgottafly · 10/07/2011 12:30

They have a right to an opinion, but how teenagers, that is under 18's, should be used to fuel politital campaigns is another matter.

A person under 16 doesn't understand all of the issues, yet, we have the voting and drinking age at 18 for good reason.

Ofcourse you get really well informed teenagers but you or your peer/friends group has to start to experiance the problems of life before you do fully understand the complexity of situations.

Most teenagers don't have free will and all do not in most cases ie they have to go to school, cannot get served in a pub, so they don't understand that life isn't as simple as it seems just because you are an adult.

Very few people act out of pure free will, as in being able to make the choice wether to get pregnant or not.

gorionine · 10/07/2011 12:35

SardineQueen If you read my post you will see that I have actually not said what my opinion on wars is, my point was that you do not need to have experienced something to have an opinion on it.

SardineQueen · 10/07/2011 12:37

Well no-one's pro war are they?

Confused

If your opinion is that war is a very complicated subject then it makes no sense in the context of your post.

gorionine · 10/07/2011 12:38

Look arround a bit (the news) and se if you are right and no one is pro wars.

gorionine · 10/07/2011 12:39

Sorry posted too soon, this is not really the subject of this thread though and I definitely wouls not want to derail it.

SardineQueen · 10/07/2011 12:41

YOUR opinion. I think it is unlikely that you are pro war.

You say you didn't say what your opinion on war was. Given the content of your post about war torn countries I assumed that you were anti-war.

If your stance is that war is a complex matter, it does not tie in with your post.

catgirl1976 · 10/07/2011 12:41

Unless you are a warlord / arms dealer / dictator / hawkish world leader I think SardineQueen was fairly reasonable to assume you had not taken the stance of "I bally love wars me. Can't get enough of 'em"

SardineQueen · 10/07/2011 12:45

Gorionine you were saying that the boys could well have formed strong and definite opinions about abortion, that will remain for the rest of their lives, and that is fair enough. You said that you formed your opinion about war at a similar age and this has not changed.

I do not for one minute believe that you were indicating a pro-war stance, or meant to say that your view was that war was a complex matter. The first would be a really odd thing to say, the second simply doesn't make sense in the context of the thread.

Very similar to abortion. It is easy to say "war is always wrong" or "abortion is always wrong" and in a perfect world they wouldn't happen. But in our imperfect world they are sometimes necessary. Simplistic or idealised views of these situations are not helpful.

Birdsgottafly · 10/07/2011 12:46

But because you support a war does not mean that you like war, or what it means (death) but see it as sometimes necassary, similar to abortion.

Birdsgottafly · 10/07/2011 12:47

X post with Sardine.

LineRunner · 10/07/2011 14:00

I agree that teenagers have rights to protest about issues in public places.

In turn they need to understand that people have a right to disagree with them and challenge them.

This can be tough for very young teenagers or those that don't have a broad understanding of the issues, whether they be in the 'youth wing' of a political party, or part of catholic campaign.

When you see teenagers floundering to answer to answer even the simplest challenge, it just seems exploitative to put them out there in the first place.

oohjarWhatsit · 10/07/2011 14:12

when does an opinion become valid?
does it only become valid if it falls in with everyone else's opinion?
would you ignore his views if he was say handing out leaflets on vivisection, or animal/child cruelty?

that said, we all know its true that teenagers know everything and they have to voice their knowledge before they become parents and know nothing Grin

edam · 10/07/2011 14:13

A 14 year old boy's opinion on some issues might be interesting, but on opposing a referendum on abortion? It's not going to affect his body, is it?

And he should have the wit to realise his opinions on the issue will be far less pertinent than those of a woman, especially an adult woman. It would be ridiculous of me, a white woman, to go out and pester Black men on some issue about their human rights.

catgirl1976 · 10/07/2011 14:26

An opinion becomes valid when it is either based on direct experience or based on an individuals assesment of all the pertinent facts and arguements. It is not valid when it is unchallenged and as never been tested with the weight of opposing views. When it is forced upon a child without fact and without balance, it is not an opinion. It is dogma

MistressFrankly · 10/07/2011 14:40

14 is not a child by any means. They might not have experience, on the other hand they may. You cannot simply say they do not have a valid opinion because they were connected to a religious group.

Edam it may not affect his body but that doesnt say it wont affect HIM. It may be a womans right to do as she wishes with her body but to deny any impact on the other party is unjust. Women are not the only ones to be affected by abortion.

ll31 · 10/07/2011 14:45

yabu - they've as much right as anyone else to campaign express their views.. if you agreed completely with them would you be objecting???

catgirl1976 · 10/07/2011 14:46

14 is not a child by any means

Fair enough, give then the vote and let then join the army then.

oila · 10/07/2011 14:49

If they had been campaigning for pro-choice side of the argument, people would be praising them for being politically aware.
The greatest test of peoples attitudes to freedom of thought and expression is how they treat those who oppose their views

catgirl1976 · 10/07/2011 14:51

TBH I would have found a 14 year old boy campaigning for pro-choice rights a bit Hmm. I would wonder why the issue was such an important one to him and find it a little odd. I would probably make the assumption his parents felt strongly and had got him involved.

Rosmarin · 10/07/2011 15:02

YANBU - what has it got to do with a teenage boy? It's his opinion but it's irrelevent because he'll never have to have one or decide against having one - whereas is future partner may. Just like that midwestern US governer a few years back who outlawed abortion even in the case of rape or incest (I believe). Again, why does a man get to make these choices for a woman?

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