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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To refuse to replace my parents things?

119 replies

MadStaringEyes · 08/07/2011 20:01

My parents are on holiday, my DSis lives with them, and she's 26. DSis has planned a 'small gathering' of people tomorrow night at their house.

She's forever skint, was paid 8 days ago and has £60 to last her the rest of the month, so thought it would be cheaper to have people around. The 'small gathering' includes quite a few of my colleagues, who DSis has recently met and have a reputation for destruction.

Their ex parties have ended with a garden bench being broken, a toilet being cracked, a dog dying, a lawn being replaced, and just general destruction. My parents have spent quite a lot of time and energy doing their house up since DSis and I grew up and it has quite a lot of trinkets from her parents, bespoke glass display cabinets, etc. basically things that cannot be replaced.

I asked her what she planns on doing if/when something gets broken, she said she'll be moving it rooms, which is fine, but everybody is staying the night, so nowwhere is safe. I asked how she would replace things if they were broken, she said I'd lend her the money. I told her I wouldn't and not to have the party, she's doing it anyway. She asked if I would rather see my parents, mum in particular, stressed at having to replace the items.

AIBU to be pissed off at her assumption that I will replace anything her friends break?

OP posts:
gorionine · 09/07/2011 19:38

There is absolutely now way I would lend her any money to replace things she and her mate could demolish in your parents home. And the emotional blackmail "Would you prefer mum to be distress at the things she would have to replace" is really terrible ! Why shoukld your mum have to replace anything that your SIS damaged is beyond belief.

Teachermumof3 · 09/07/2011 19:55

Blimey-what a nightmare sister!

I'd text her again and double check she is fully aware that you won't be bailing her out and you'll tell your parents exactly what she's said.

Had she always had this little respect for your parents? Presumably they know what she's life, if so? Have things got broken in the past?

Where did she meet your colleagues? Are they substantially more dodgy that her usual friends? Is she having some sort of crisis at the moment?

Sorry for all the questions-I fail to see how this situation has come about. Either she's a nightmare and your parents wouldn't want to leave her in charge of the house or she's fine and they have no idea that she thinks this little of them. If she's fine-why is she suddenly hanging round with such stupid people!?

bibbitybobbityhat · 09/07/2011 19:57

Why are you even worrying about this?

If your awful work colleagues wreck your parents house, then just tell them exactly what happened.

You don't need to give her any money.

Isn't this all a bit of a non-issue?

2rebecca · 09/07/2011 20:52

Must admit if my younger sister expected me to bail her out financially for a party she'd held at my parents house that I'd advised her against and was nothing to do with me I'd laught at her, let alone if I had an older sister.
Your parents are not going to be upset. They are going to be angry - with your sister.
I agree that this seems a non issue from your perspective. If your sister breaks your parents stuff she has to sort it out with them.
Not sure why you are contemplating getting involved.
Your parents aren't frail old dearies, they aren't much older than me.
Let them give your sister the bollocking she deserves if she damages any of their stuff.

RevoltingPeasant · 09/07/2011 21:22

OP how's it going? Do you know if the party is still going ahead tonight?

Original poster
MadStaringEyes · 09/07/2011 21:36

I have no idea. I told my sister not to contact me. It's her issue and she has to deal with it.

OP posts:
DoNotTakeMeSiriusly · 09/07/2011 21:43

Fucking hell! 26?? That's only one year younger than me!

I'm with the people who say keep out of it.

Fingers crossed not too many things get broke. Things will get broke though, I had a huge party when I was 16 (not fucking 26...) I moved precious ornaments to the spare room so they wouldnt get broke and found a friend of mine stamping on them while he struggled to get into my old cabin bed...
Thankfully he was a friend and not just someone I met at the pub, he went out the next day and bought superglue and fixed them. Hmm

FakePlasticTrees · 09/07/2011 21:49

Stick to your guns, it's nothing to do with you. It's not your problem. Keep refusing to having anything to do with it, or to lend her the money, or to cover up to your parents.

It's your parent's stuff, they left her in charge, she's a grown woman, if she's allows it to be destroyed, that's not your fault.

mumeeee · 09/07/2011 22:11

YANBU. She is 26 not teenager. If she goes ahead with the party and stuff gets broken. It is her responsibility.

mummymeister · 10/07/2011 11:52

OP what happened last night. Have been following this thread and hope that it all turned out OK ( for your parents sake not your dsis i hasten to add)

Bogeyface · 10/07/2011 15:17

i was wonderiing how it went too. Although if the OP told the sister not to contact her again then she may not know. Another one with crossed fingers here!

catpark · 10/07/2011 18:36

I've been following this thread as well. What happenned last night ? I hope the OP doesn't bail her sister out and lie for her (Couldn't believe it when the OP told us that the sister at home was actually the elder sister !) As horible as it will be for her parents, they need to have their eyes opened.

TheGashlycrumbTinies · 10/07/2011 19:49

.

Original poster
MadStaringEyes · 10/07/2011 19:59

I don't know how it went. I put my phone in drawer and haven't looked at it since, but there are photo's taken at 7am (if the camera time is right) and they're all still drinking.

OP posts:
CaveMum · 10/07/2011 20:00

Any news?

[mosey cow]

CaveMum · 10/07/2011 20:03

X-post and I'm a nosey cow obviously!

Hope you don't get dragged into her mess.

PelvicFloorOfSteel · 19/07/2011 22:57

Have your parents got back from holiday yet? Was the house trashed? I hope everything worked out ok in the end (and certainly that you didn't have to lend any money to cover your sister's mistakes).

StayingNearlyHeadlessNicksGirl · 19/07/2011 23:44

By the time I was 26 years old, I was a registered general nurse with a post basic qualification in theatre nursing, and was responsible for the safety of the unconscious patients in my operating theatre. This brat of a 26-year-old needs the biggest kick up the bum in the history of kicks up the bum. Frankly, my 14 year old sounds more responsible.

OP - I can see that you are torn between the need for your sister to start learning to take some responsibility for her life, and your absolutely natural desire to look after your parents, but I think it is time you let your sister take the fall for her actions. I would even go so far as to tell your parents about the 'back to the house after the pub' breakage before the night of the party, and that you have warned her repeatedly not to have the party, so they get the picture of how selfish she really is.

What happened in the end?

myBOYSareBONKERS · 23/07/2011 08:38

hi op. Whats the outcome of this???

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