To refuse to replace my parents things?

[MadStaringEyes]

My parents are on holiday, my DSis lives with them, and she's 26. DSis has planned a 'small gathering' of people tomorrow night at their house.

She's forever skint, was paid 8 days ago and has £60 to last her the rest of the month, so thought it would be cheaper to have people around. The 'small gathering' includes quite a few of my colleagues, who DSis has recently met and have a reputation for destruction.

Their ex parties have ended with a garden bench being broken, a toilet being cracked, a dog dying, a lawn being replaced, and just general destruction. My parents have spent quite a lot of time and energy doing their house up since DSis and I grew up and it has quite a lot of trinkets from her parents, bespoke glass display cabinets, etc. basically things that cannot be replaced.

I asked her what she planns on doing if/when something gets broken, she said she'll be moving it rooms, which is fine, but everybody is staying the night, so nowwhere is safe. I asked how she would replace things if they were broken, she said I'd lend her the money. I told her I wouldn't and not to have the party, she's doing it anyway. She asked if I would rather see my parents, mum in particular, stressed at having to replace the items.

AIBU to be pissed off at her assumption that I will replace anything her friends break?

Go round to your parents' house the day before and put itching powder on all the cushions in the sitting room and all the pillows on the beds - anything easily washable which won't get ruined. Then sit back and await the reports

MY sisters friend was at a party where the dog was killed. It collapsed after some twats thougt it would be funny get it stoned by giving it blow backs from their spliff.

What is wrong with some people?

Bogeyface, I just don't "get" it. I couldn't stand back and just watch someone doing that without stopping them any more than I could watch someone breaking a baby's arms without intervening.

Humans... I really don't like most of them very much at all.

Obviously its much funnier if you are off your head on white lightening and off your tits on skunk.

I agree, I wouldnt be able to stand back and let it happen either. :(

Seeing as it is not her house would the police be able to intervene?

Maybe call the non emergency number when the party starts and tell them it is not her house to have people round and that they are known to be destructive towards other people's property... And animals .

Agreed, call the police.

Your sister sounds like a twat. But how did she meet all your awful work colleagues?

Oh, and yeah.

Your sister does sound like an immature brat. I hope to God your parents don't have any pets in that house.

What everyone else said.... this is heartbreaking.... and echoing everyone's sentiments about the DOG... plus I can't believe she's 26 (actually, I can.... which is terrible....)

Tell your DSis (and is the D warranted?) that you'll be doing as Schrodinger says and calling the non-emergency number - that way she's warned, and might reconsider the party? But make sure she knows you're serious, and that it's no empty threat!

TBH I don't think the police will be all that interested. The sister lives in the house, she isn't trespassing and the ghastly friends are there at her invitation.

She doesn't own the house though, and doesn't have permission from the owners to have those people in their property. So I am pretty sure that could be classed as trespassing.

At the very least they will go round and make sure the party isn't too rowdy, if you tell them you are worried about vandalism.

YANBU.
I'd make it clear that if she goes ahead with this party, against your advice, all consequences are hers, and hers alone to deal with. Any distress to your parents will be of her doing, not yours.
Refuse, whatever occurs, to help her.

She lives there. The parents are uncontactable. If the police bothered to go along, all she has to say is that it is her parents home and they are away and the police will leave. Don't bother the police about this, OP, they won't care.

Of course if one of the neighbours can be persuaded to complain to the police about noise/general unruliness, that would be different.

It isn't your responsibility to replace anything, but won't you feel awful if precious/irreplacable things are damaged/destroyed?

I already feel awful. I've pointed out that my parents are very friendly with next door and they Will Tell Them. She shrugged and said that she'll just say it was a couple of people.

The vet concluded that the poor dogs death was a coincidence, and nothing could have prevented it, but I wasn't there so can't comment. I strugle to see them actually harming the dog intentionally but still a little odd timing.

I'm pretty sure just because she lives there that doesn't give her the rights to have a party in their house.

Surely she would just be considered a lodger considering she is over 18 and if the parents are uncontactable then they wouldn't really have any way of knowing if they give permission to have all these people in their house.

Do you not know the hotel they are staying at? I would do whatever I could to contact my parents if I knew their house was likely to get wrecked. Or failing that, go to the party and watch everyone like a hawk.

MSE I know you've got 2 DC, but do you have an OH/friend who could watch your children while you go over to the house that evening and prevent people from going inside?

Okay, this is a bit extreme, especially given that your sister lives there, but...

Could you make an excuse to get her out of the house the day before the party, or the same day, and get someone in to change the locks? I'm guessing you have a key and could prob pose as the homeowner. Leave a note for DSis on the front door with some cash for a Travelodge room OR tell her she can crash at yours. But no way is she getting back in that house - or any of her 'guests'.

I appreciate that might seem OTT, but unless she's willing to break the door down, it will keep her & co. out, and I think others are right, the police won't give a toss.

Failing that, do your parents have any close friends whom you could ask to go over and shout at her/ chuck everyone out? Or what about any aunts/ uncles?

No WAY should the OP spend her time policing the idiot sister's party. No doubt the sister has form in selfish arse behaviour, their parents are probably well used to making excuses for her to themselves. Let them all get on with it OP and stay well out.

[hangry] [hshock] [hangry]

go round and remove anything of sentimental value. tell your sister that it is her responsibility. if you can go round early in the morning you can check if any damage has been done whilst the culprits are still there. and demand reparations, threatening to call the police then.

do not bail her out. your parents need to read her the riot act themselves. your poor parents.

tip off the neighbours to call the police if there is any noise disturbances as well.

The other thing is, you could just ring the police anonymously yourself, say you are afraid there are trespassers or something - simply the police turning up might make them calm down/ leave?

Family all live miles away, but I could ask their neighbour to chuc them out on the premise that they're keeping their lo up. I think I'll go see them in the morning.

I know, Georgimama - I 90% agree with you, but there's the 10% that thinks of her parents' stuff getting broken... as an older sibling who bails out younger siblings (think reminding them of birthdays, rather than ringing the police on them, though....) I would prioritize protecting her parents' thing in this instant.

Don't bail her out. It's her choice to allow them to break things.

Her choice.

She can deal with it!

Twenty-six; I ask you!!

Go round there tomorrow in the day when she's out.

Change the locks.

Seriously.

Also ring your "friends" and tell them the party has been cancelled.