to be upset at this children's party?

[sadaboutthismum]

I'm not sure if I am or not .
DD came home tonight and told me, very matter of factly, that a child in her class is having a year 6 leavers party and disco at his house. He was giving out invitations this week in front of the children who have not been invited. Two teachers are going aswell..

There are 37 children in the year group. 32 have been invited. My DD is one of the children that hasn't.

Obviously I won't do anything but I feel sad that an adult has organised a big, special party and excluded 5 children from it.

DD has never fallen out with this child, BTW. I don't know, I have quite a good sense of fair play and to me that means all children in a big party situation are invited. Obviously very different for a small party .

Bloody Hell ... Pizza story made me want to punch someone.

I've been on both ends of this sort of thing ... In Y2 DS1 was the only boy in a TINY class not invited to another boys birthday and I seethed in silence for weeks only to discover the invite at the bottom of his gym bag ... And DS2 managed to drop a handful of invites to a full class job and lose several under the seat of the car, luckily one of the kids who hadn't got one made a fuss and we had a rummage around and found them but I'd have been utterly mortified if anyone had thought I'd just left a few out on purpose.

When DS2 left Lower school we did have a leavers party that one of the Mums organised in her garden. Everyone came, all the other Mums brought food, the kids all ran around and we all sat and got pissed chatted. Lovely time had by all.

Can't believe how vile some people can be about this stuff, can't they imagine how it feels? Grrr.

haven't read all the posts but this sounds very sad.

my parents weren't perfect but my mum insisted on inviting everyone in my class to my parties. there were 37 in my class (and my birthday is in feb so couldn't be in the garden and was always in the house) but she was so horrified at the parents who said 30 children max and left just 7 out.

Dreadful nasty behaviour.

Spuddy your mum sounds lovely. :)

there were some kids who were only ever invited to my party in the whole year.

I was the only one who had everyone and it became a kind of unofficial annual 'do' it was even in the schools 'social calendar'.

We always had a theme and mum told the teachers so they were aware. In Jan she gave loads of material and supplies to the school and it became part of the the arts lessons to make sure everyone had an outfit (there were some kids whose parents wouldn't have bothered and she didn't want them to be the only ones not dressed up).

Just in case, she also paid for group taxi's for kids to be picked up and dropped off and had spare outfits at the door in case anyone forgot theirs.

My 9 year old 'Punk Party' has gone down in history. and she put dye in all the food to make it green ! (more anarchistic apparently!)

Awww...that's so great!

wow spuddy your mum sounds great, what a wonderful example to set. I don't think that I could cope with so many kids, but would only invite about 6-10 from dd class of 30, so there won't be one or two left out

Me too yearning.

Any news?

Inlimboagain - "while i do feel slightly uneasy that I've never returned an invite, I would be really upset if i knew that she was being excluded because we never invite kids back - that's not her fault, or mine." Why is not your fault?

Your post sounds full of double standards. You can't be bothered getting to know the other parents or having a party for your DD but would be upset if she was excluded from a party. Sometimes you need to make the effort. Not all parents like doing parties but have them to return the favour.

Inlimboagain I am afraid it works both ways. You can't expect invites to parties and never invite children yourself. You do have to make an effort sometimes, I hate them but as dd has ASD its good for her to be in social situations and to reciprocate the invitations she gets.

I would explain to your DD that it is very bad manners to do what this child has done. Not so much the inviting of only 32 children and 2 teachers, but by making it so public in front of the other five. You could throw her a party yourself (if you feel she'd enjoy one). Or you could take her for a family outing as a treat. In life, this happens, and we don't need to be invited to every party to feel secure. But we can control how courteous and considerate we are to others.

I suspect we have to wait until Monday to get an update? I hope the teacher spoke with the offending parent Friday after school! I think it is a totally appalling way to treat fellow class mates.

The more I read about childrens parties, the more I am determined never to host one. The way some children (and parents) have been treated is awful. Not going there.

I agree with the majority. If this is being billed as a year 6 leaver's party, it should be inclusive of all year 6 pupils. The only way I would consider an exclusion appropriate was if the excluded child was currently bullying the host child. Not sure where I stand on past bullying figuring (I was badly bullied at school, so this is a bit of a sore subject for me).

I had a year 6 leavers party when I was that age (all those years ago!), and everyone was invited to the house of a girl whose family was quite monied. They had a marquee and invited the teachers. But everyone was invited without exception, which is exactly how it should be.

Well inlimbo you don't have to spend loads of money doing a party. For example I did a joint one with a friend and it only cost me £22, it was in MacDonalds, the food was £2.20 per head and they had a soft play room so that was that.

getting on this thread for update, hopefully tomorrow

I would arrange something really nice and special for your daughter so that if people are talking about the party afterwards she can say that she wouldn't have been available to go

marking my spot for updates