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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that renting at the age of 40 is abit tragic?

157 replies

katkitya · 06/07/2011 23:49

It's not how I imagined things would pan out but, here I am. It's not very grown up, is it? I just can't seem to save enough for a deposit in London on my own. My friends that have done it have done so in couples or with family money. It sucks. Am I the only one that still rents?

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 06/07/2011 23:50

its only the british who seem to have an obsession with living in a house the bank own!! i mean mortgaged of course!!

IRCL · 06/07/2011 23:50

I think YABU, My parents are older and they rent, not everyone can save up thousands for deposits.

FabbyChic · 06/07/2011 23:51

Im 46 and have always rented, I don't think Im tragic at all, needs must and all that, but then Im not arsed my car only cost £575 either, it goes and has no rust.

I'd rather have happy, healthy children, children who are going to have a far better life than I ever had.

I think in this day and age having a roof be it rented or otherwise is good enough.

Glitterknickaz · 06/07/2011 23:51

YABU.
Home ownership isn't the be all and end all.

RobynLou · 06/07/2011 23:53

we rent, in 4 years we may have enough saved for a deposit, if everything goes to plan, by which time DH will be over 40.

so we're a couple and won't have managed it!

it's not rare in london at all amongst the peoplr I know.

HelloKlitty · 06/07/2011 23:54

It's not sad...we rent too...and we're in out lte 30s. Mot of our frends rent and the ones who own are having such huge stress right now.

As a renter you're free! I am just in the process of moving DDs school to alovely area...we couldn't do that if we owned...now way..selling up and all that is hideous!

We do wnt to own...but on our terms..not having scrape up the minimum deposit...what the hell! You can't take it with you!

FreudianSlipper · 06/07/2011 23:54

no not at all

i wish i was renting at the moment, if i sell i lose much of my deposit and i want rid of this flat. london is so expensive i was luckily to be left some money and received a few good bonuses at work, that was just at the prises went through the roof and without that extra money i would not have been able to afford to buy on my own and i was earning a good wage

not as many will be buying in future, it is not always the investment it is made out to be

bullet234 · 06/07/2011 23:55

I am not sure of exactly when and who lived in it at all times, but DH's uncle, his now deceased nan and his now deceased greatgrandfather have all had the same rental property since 1938.

branstonsandcheese · 06/07/2011 23:55

I bloody wish we were renting. Bought at the height of the market when we had two incomes, now huge negative equity. and were looking down the barrel of bankruptcy last year - and will be again when rates go up.

And the roof needs replacing and there's something wrong with the joists. I wish it was someone else's problem.

SingingSands · 06/07/2011 23:57

Not tragic at all! I live in a mortgaged home, but what is essentially the difference? The bank owns my home. A landlord owns your home. I pay the bank every month. You pay the landlord. I have sole responsibility for my home. You have a landlord who has responsibility. I think you might be better off than I am, as you don't have the responsibility of repairs, essential maintenance etc.

Plus, if you find another property you would like to live in, it's probably much easier to move!

reelingintheyears · 06/07/2011 23:57

Cheers,i'm 51....

Original poster
katkitya · 06/07/2011 23:57

Thanks, I feel better for reading these posts!! I just get embarrassed when I meet up with my friends up north who are almost mortgage free!!

OP posts:
BluddyMoFo · 06/07/2011 23:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FreudianSlipper · 06/07/2011 23:59

i dread interest rates going up :( i think i will have to sell then

FreudianSlipper · 07/07/2011 00:00

yes but the live up north. there has to be some perks :o

branstonsandcheese · 07/07/2011 00:03

I think - in London here too - that home-ownership made a lot of people lots of money (even if just hypothetical money), and everyone's still desperate to get on the bandwagon even though the opposite is now true.

My parents know some people who bought a house for £100,000 and it's now worth a million quid and don't understand why we haven't done the same Angry

Hatesponge · 07/07/2011 00:03

Having a home of your own is the main thing as far as I'm concerned, whether it's rented or mortgaged.

What's tragic is being like my Exp, who is in his mid 40s and currently sleeping on a sofa in his parent's lounge.....

Original poster
katkitya · 07/07/2011 00:08

I think it's a cultural thing. I see women at work saving every penny to give their children a deposit. I see 28 year old women living at home so they can save for a deposit. My friends and family up north mortgage free and, what do I have? A rented flat 15 minutes from central London. Money to beable to go travelling when I fancy or, to a festival. I feel immature sometimes. Like I haven't fitted in with what's expected.

OP posts:
FreudianSlipper · 07/07/2011 00:14

you will do it in your own time

i have recently gone to university, i got a mortgage late, i had a child late there is no rush. for some (like me) being married, in my family home and having children by the time i was 30 had no appeal others it is what they want to do

and i still go to festivals, we (ds and i) go on holidays, backpack travelling is not on the agenda at the moment.

Original poster
katkitya · 07/07/2011 00:20

It's only us in this country that are obsessed isn't it? I keep telling my mother that if I was in New York it wouldn't be an issue!!

OP posts:
tyler80 · 07/07/2011 06:48

It's an issue in this country because of the way the rental market works. In a lot of other European countries you have more security so renting is a good alternative to buying. There's a very good reason for our 'obsession'

And if you buy you're only renting from the bank if you've got an interest only mortgage otherwise you're paying off capital and will one day own a property, hopefully by retirement.

Sorry to put a downer on your thread op. I don't think there's anything wrong with individuals still renting but there is something wrong with the system in this country that makes renting such a poor alternative to buying.It's an issue in this country because of the way the rental market works. In a lot of other European countries you have more security so renting is a good alternative to buying. There's a very good reason for our 'obsession'

And if you buy you're only renting from the bank if you've got an interest only mortgage otherwise you're paying off capital and will one day own a property, hopefully by retirement.

Sorry to put a downer on your thread op. I don't think there's anything wrong with individuals still renting but there is something wrong with the system in this country that makes renting such a poor alternative to buying.

Numberfour · 07/07/2011 06:58

What worries me dreadfully is how will we pay rent when we are no longer working? I am 45 in a few weeks' time and DH and I also rent. We have very little chance of getting our own home. What about when we are old and grey??? Really does worry me.

pingu2209 · 07/07/2011 08:05

It is horrible how the British somehow 'look down upon' people who rent. It is just wrong wrong wrong.

Rent is quite often a higher monthly payment to a mortgage anyway!!

Ismeyes · 07/07/2011 08:14

I hope to be renting when I'm 40, I hate the idea of being tied to a house because of a mortgage and not being able to up and move if I fancy it. People say to me, but if you get your own house you can decorate it and have security. I haven't lived in a rented house yet where I haven't been able to paint it or put up shelves/pictures and I don't have to suddenly find £3000 for windows or a boiler because its not my problem. I love the freedom of renting and I have no debt to anyone. I'll worry about when I'm old and grey if and when I get there, although I'm hoping my ongoing wine investment will help minimise costs there Wink.

dreamingbohemian · 07/07/2011 08:15

It's not tragic at all, I'm 40 and still renting. I'm from New York, where people rent their whole lives, DH is French, ditto.

I don't think there is a great deal more protection for tenants in New York, there is just a culture of renting. In France, yes, tenant protection is indeed very strong.

I love the freedom that renting brings, and the fact I don't have to pay when anything breaks down.

As for when we're older, we hope to start putting some savings in long-term investments so that when we retire we can buy a little flat somewhere cheap, as we'll no longer have to stay in big expensive cities to find work.