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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that renting at the age of 40 is abit tragic?

157 replies

katkitya · 06/07/2011 23:49

It's not how I imagined things would pan out but, here I am. It's not very grown up, is it? I just can't seem to save enough for a deposit in London on my own. My friends that have done it have done so in couples or with family money. It sucks. Am I the only one that still rents?

OP posts:
IroningBoardForSurfBoard · 07/07/2011 08:18

we rent, i have never pretended to own had a mortgage - DH has.

nothing wrong with it at all, houses are for living in, not making money out of

thumbwitch · 07/07/2011 08:19

I don't know how different it is now, but when I was in Germany about 30years ago I was told that it was so expensive to buy in Germany that most people rented long-term, and it could take decades before people ended up owning their own home, usually just in time to pass it on to the children.

I don't think there is anything wrong with still being in rented accommodation at your age, or any age for that matter.

mumblechum1 · 07/07/2011 08:20

I think a lot has to do with how old you happened to be at various stages. I was fortunate enough to buy a house in 1984 when I was 21 with my then boyfriend. It cost £21k and was a perfectly nice 3 bed terrace in a cheap Northern town.

Because I got onto the housing ladder early and it was easy back then, we both saved £15 a week for a year and then had enough for a deposit, I've been lucky enough to keep buying bigger and better and now dh and I own a large house in the country and have paid off our mortgage.

If I'd left it even 5 years, I'd have been in 15% interest territory, the house prices rocketed in the mid eighties and we would have really struggled.

A lot of things come down to pure luck and timing.

I worry about how ds is ever going to afford anything even half decent.

SpawnChorus · 07/07/2011 08:25

Absolutely agree with Tyler. We've just bought again after three years of renting. We were v happy with the idea of renting, and didn't feel "looked down upon" but we were left completely unprotected against the vagaries of our landlords. We had to move three times in two years. Not fun with three small children (or while pregnant). each time we signed a lease we were assured that it was long term, the landlords were away indefinitely, blah blah. So we've reluctantly bought again. We can't afford as nice a place as we were renting, but at least we won't be kicked out. Unless mortgage rates go up so much that the flat is possessed. Hmm

TimeWasting · 07/07/2011 08:26

My landlord pays for British Gas Homecare. Blocked toilet? Plumber out in an hour and I don't have to pay.

If we did manage to scrape a deposit together we could only afford to buy in the worst part of the red light district, but as we rent we live near the best schools.

The overwhelming push for everyone to own at any cost is very tragic as far as I can see. People are struggling to pay interest only mortgages, they will never actually own that house, but they have to pay buildings insurance and maintain their own house. Mugs game.

Of course, if we had money we would buy, as renting is never secure, but it's not that big a priority.

manticlimactic · 07/07/2011 08:27

I'm 40 and renting. I've been renting for 10 years (the same house though). I have been feeling a bit meh lately as I see my friends , well some of them, with their own houses. But I think that IS because I have just turned 40 and haven't really done a lot with my life apart from work and rent.

But yesterday I was glad I was renting as the boiler went caput and I didn't have the worry of having to find the money to get it fixed or to buy another one.

Ismeyes have your friends rented before? Sounds like they haven't or have had really strict landlords. I have decorated my house as I wanted. Put a false wall up in my really long living room to make another room and put shelves and pictures up.

Thinking about it, I love renting. If I fancy moving I can. Smile. My ex has our old house. He's had another baby with his new partner and can't afford to move to a bigger house and has to shell out for any repairs.

Bandwithering · 07/07/2011 08:28

I'm in your shoes OP. People trot out that line to me too "oh this obsession to own is an Irish thing" and then they go back to their house, which they own, and which because they're roughly my age they bought before house prices went crazy!!!

They mean well though, trying to be nice.

I know home owning is not a total walk in the park, but it's one of the few things that takes a lot of effort and creates stress which in my book is definitely worth it, because at the end of it all you own a house. And what do you own after decades of renting?

SpawnChorus · 07/07/2011 08:29

Repossessed! Autocorrect fail.

lachesis · 07/07/2011 08:32

YABU

trixymalixy · 07/07/2011 08:32

YABU, this British obsession with home ownership is part if the reason the country is in such a mess, with people being allowed to borrow more than they could afford and artificially inflating house prices.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 07/07/2011 08:34

As someone with a big mortgage on a tiny house just because I happened to be born in one of the most expensive parts of the country, renting sounds delightful to me! Unfortunately rent round here would be just as expensive as the mortgage but in theory, no upkeep and you can move whenever you fancy (not always that simple, I know!).

TimeWasting · 07/07/2011 08:38

Bandwithering, I don't want to own things, I want to have done things.

mauricetinkler · 07/07/2011 08:38

YABU. However...I can't understand this thing about wanting to live in London at all costs. As well as the houses being way cheaper, it's way better up North. Why?

  • Loads of open countryside
  • The traffic actually moves
  • Friendlier people
  • Better totty
fluffles · 07/07/2011 08:41

i associate renting with freedom. owning a house is really binding in terms of jobs etc. you can't move without a HUGE amount of hassle and even then in this market, if you have a '1st time buyers' home then you maybe just can't sell at all.

i do wonder about retirement though - most retirement plans assume you have less outgoings as your mortgage will be paid off... i know you can get benefits if your income is low but i assume if you've saved all your life you just have to use those savings on rent till they're gone or you die Sad

hairylights · 07/07/2011 08:54

Yabvu. I am 43 and renting. I left my own house (which I have just got back) two years ago when I left a bad marriage and I'm really enjoying renting. I feel much less tied down ... I don't have the responsibility of maintaining this house ... And I can move in September if I want. I am selling my own house but don't think I'll buy for a while yet.

Bandwithering · 07/07/2011 09:02

@trixymalixy, do you own a house though!? just wondering. People say this stuff to me ALL the time.

It drives me a bit crazy. Why do I have to bethe person who doesn't have a house. I've no control over house prices. I never wanted them to get so high!! nor did any of the other people who had to take out huge mortgages on over priced houses. And of course, the house price does impact upon rental values so ..... if you can afford it you're still better off paying a mortgage repayment than rental on a house that has a high mortgage and therefore high rent.!

Hammy02 · 07/07/2011 09:08

Houses up North may be cheaper than in the South-East but they still aren't cheap. DP and I are renting a 3 bedroom terrace that would cost £350,000 to buy. Although we can afford to rent it, it would be impossible to find the £90,000 deposit required to buy it.

ElizabethDarcy · 07/07/2011 09:13

We have both... we rent a big place in a very good area in London... we couldn't afford to buy it, that's for sure.

We also own a (smaller by one room) house in another area that is tenanted out.

Works for us.

squeakytoy · 07/07/2011 09:14

What worries me dreadfully is how will we pay rent when we are no longer working? I am 45 in a few weeks' time and DH and I also rent. We have very little chance of getting our own home. What about when we are old and grey??? Really does worry me.

That for me is exactly why IF you are able to buy, it is better than renting. It is a struggle to pay a mortgage, but do have the security of knowing that when we retire our property will belong to us. Unless you have a lot of money in savings plans, what on earth will people do when they retire? because rent doesnt get discounted when you are a pensioner.

Renting is dead money, a mortgage is repayment of a loan and at the end of it you own the house.

lachesis · 07/07/2011 09:16

'Unless you have a lot of money in savings plans, what on earth will people do when they retire? because rent doesnt get discounted when you are a pensioner.'

The vast majority of people are not going to be able to retire. They will have to work until they are no longer physically capable of doing anything, at which point they'll use savings if they have them or claim housing benefit for a rental property.

Shelter is essential. Money spent on it is not dead money anymore than spending money on food is just because we shit and pee it out.

Hammy02 · 07/07/2011 09:16

Squeakytoy. Renting may be dead money but people that own their own home may find it being sold to pay for their care in old age.

wordfactory · 07/07/2011 09:18

SQUEAKY i agree.

Though there is absokutely no shame in renting the practicalities are often a nightmare. My poor cousin has had to move three times with a baby when leases ran out or the LL suddenly wanted to sell up.

Also, paying rent from a pension means you will need a bloody good one.

wordfactory · 07/07/2011 09:21

Hammy indded that might happen. Or it might not and one can live happily on ones pension and pass along an investment to ones child.

What will definitely happen if you rent is that you will have to keep finding the money and won't have anything to pass along.

I'd say if you're able to buy, then it's worth a punt.

Bandwithering · 07/07/2011 09:24

Exactly squeakytoy. IF your home is sold because you're in care, then you longer need that roof because you have another. I literally do worry about having no roof over my head.

RevoltingPeasant · 07/07/2011 09:24

I don't think renting at 40 is tragic, but I do find the idea scary, mostly because of what squeaky said.

I am nearly 32 31 and we rent. We both have decent professional jobs and live in the South-West, so not like London price ranges - but we can't afford a deposit, and won't be able to for a while. I don't know if this is right, but recently my dad told me he reckoned a house costing around £220k would require a £40k deposit.

Our joint household income is about £55k a year - that is going to take some saving :( And with renting, you get moved on all the time, with LLs deciding to sell/ move back in/ etc, so our savings keep being eaten into by moving expenses.

I know we are just lucky to have jobs, though