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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that renting at the age of 40 is abit tragic?

157 replies

katkitya · 06/07/2011 23:49

It's not how I imagined things would pan out but, here I am. It's not very grown up, is it? I just can't seem to save enough for a deposit in London on my own. My friends that have done it have done so in couples or with family money. It sucks. Am I the only one that still rents?

OP posts:
tyler80 · 09/07/2011 09:30

"I understand it may be crappy living in short term private lets, buts thems the breaks."

What a charming sentiment...

lachesis · 09/07/2011 20:46

We're considering purchasing a lodge.

goodnightmoon · 09/07/2011 21:59

there are plenty of people in this country who have put their "dead money" into an "owned" house. Actually, they own nothing at all, or perhaps 5% to 10% of the equity. The house is owned by the bank, and the mortgage is more than the equivalent rent. Rates are only going in one direction, and mortgages will become less affordable for those who overextended themselves to get a foot on the ladder. So who is paying dead money then?

Original poster
katkitya · 10/07/2011 11:56

Don't you think that it's a sign of the times though? Most of my friends in their early 40's have indeed nearly paid their mortgages off. And they didn't have to work hard to do it. They just have average paid jobs.

OP posts:
Bandwithering · 10/07/2011 12:21

yeah... I wish, wish, wish that when i was twenty three i'd bought a small house. i can't blame anybody but myself, various people tried to talk me into buying a plce when i was in my mid 20s

Original poster
katkitya · 11/07/2011 13:36

Me too. I ended up buying a flat that I hated because my mother liked it. That was 20 years ago and even now it's hardly worth what I paid for it then. If she'd have let me buy the sprawling Victorian flat I had my heart set on, I'd be laughing.

OP posts:
LadyClariceCannockMonty · 11/07/2011 13:52

YANBU at all. There is a weird British obsession with home-owning but I've seen so many people buy a shithole in a part of town they don't even like, and get mortgaged up to their eyeballs, just to get on this all-important 'housing ladder'. Whereas DP and I, last time we moved, moved into a house we love in an area that makes us immensely happy. We couldn't have afforded to buy it but we could afford to rent it. How is that more 'dead' money than the money people are pouring into their banks' pockets to live somewhere they don't like?

ophelia275 · 05/06/2012 11:40

Just digging up this thread.

I don't think it is tragic to be renting at 40, not everyone has a choice. I am 37 and husband is 39, we rent with 2 kids in London. It would cost us a quarter of a million just to buy a 50sq meter flat in the area of London we live with no garden (broom cupboard size).

I think most people who didn't jump on the bandwagon in the early 2000s have no choice but to rent. It is not ideal but the thought of putting our life savings and having to still get a huge mortgage just to buy a run-down ex-council flat where most of the other tenants are paying peanuts in rent just scares me. And that is all we could afford even with my husband being on a good wage.

However, high house prices has totally fucked the younger generation. The only people who have profited from high house prices are the baby boomers who have big houses bought for peanuts and a good pension. The younger generations are not going to be so lucky and Cameron and his rich mates are making sure that nothing changes so their wealth is protected.

LadyTeeAndBiscuits · 05/06/2012 11:48

Why are you just digging up this thread? Just start a new one with actual relevance.

MNHQ good example of why threads should be locked after a certain amount of time!

ophelia275 · 05/06/2012 11:58

Why is it not still relevant? I am 37, still renting and I wanted to reply (is that allowed or should I have asked your permission first)? I actually thought it would be silly to start a new thread when there is a perfectly valid one to contribute to!

FreudianSlipper · 05/06/2012 12:06

oh you are awful ophelia do you not know the mn rules :) once you do please pm me with your findings

i replied to this nearly a year ago, my circumstances have changed i am now renting in london and renting out my flat. it was the only way i could afford to live more central and in an area i i like and i am 40 this year

i have very little equity in my flat but if i sell i will not get another mortgage on my own so tennants are paying the mortgage which is helpful (though i do not like the responsibility)

and no it is not sad at all having a property is not the be all and end all, i doubt i shall have paid off my mortgage by 60

Angelico · 05/06/2012 12:18

I honestly don't know how ANYONE ever buys in London. A friend did but only because she got married and her DH inherited a lot of money from his dad which he used to buy his first flat. They then part traded it for their family home. London prices are bonkers.

MoreBeta · 05/06/2012 12:27

At the turn of the 20th century only 10% of people owned the home they live in while most just rented - even quite well off people. Agree with others it is a very British obsession is owning a house.

I am 48 and have always rented and very happy. Never decorated or mended anything in a house in my life. DIY - no I let my landlord do it.

Me and DW spent a bit of time abroad when DS1 was a baby. We flew back to the UK and apart from our two suitcases and a pushchair we had no home at all. We just stood on the concourse of Heathrow and picked a town to go and live in.

In fact when we got there we just lived in a hotel for a while. It was rather nice - DS1 learned to climb stairs in that hotel and the staff all doted on him.

lovebunny · 05/06/2012 12:56

goodness. why on earth put a deadline on when you should be renting or buying? and in london, too, where prices are ridiculous.
i have a house, for now. i could lose my job, the mortgage, the house, at any time. it doesn't give me much more 'security' than renting.
renting makes sense in the current economic climate. you're free to move if your employment situation changes.

if you're desperate to buy, move north.

yellowraincoat · 05/06/2012 12:59

God OP, really? It's nearly impossible to buy in London unless you're very well-off.

My gran rented her entire life, didn't seem to do her any harm.

This obsession with buying is weird. I lived in Germany and no-one, I mean NO-ONE, buys there.

BanoffeeSplitz · 05/06/2012 13:11

I've always rented too, the instability is the biggest downside - never knowing for certain if you will have to up sticks and move on in 6 months, and I wish much longer term tenancies like on the continent were possible. I do believe some countries also have much bigger deposits for those kind of tenancies (say 3 months or so?) which in my circs would be well worth saving up for, though obviously there would still be a need for short term tenancies.

Like most things, the better placed you are financially, the more cushioned you are against your tenancy ending: the difference between a forced move being annoying and being a calamity.

And as I've got older, I've realised that people with a mortgage and precarious finances can be just as fucked if not more (sometimes), when circumstances change - with that in mind, I've come to terms more with being a long term renter.

I envy my parents though, having lived in the same house since I was a baby & will probably die there, having had the same neighbours for 40+ years. None of their children own a house (and we are all over 40!) and I wonder if we would feel differently about that if we didn't have at least that element of stability in our background.

BanoffeeSplitz · 05/06/2012 13:20

"a very British obsession" - and as you've mentioned, MoreBeta, a comparatively recent one as well. I dunno if it's the thing that's most fucked up the whole economy, but it's got to be pretty high up.

I can absolutely understand why people have aspired to owning, given the state - current & historical - of private rentals in this country. But I wonder where we'd be now as a country, if we'd worked towards making rented accomodation secure & something to aspire to: maybe more like Germany? Grin

peanutbutter38 · 05/06/2012 13:38

what do lifelong renters do when they hit retirement age and still have £1000 a month rent to pay on a house?
Just curious to know. I assume people have savings and pensions to cover this?

FermezLaBouche · 05/06/2012 13:39

I love renting. I love the freedom of being able to move absolutely anywhere in the country whenever I need to. As far as I can see I will never be in a position to put down a massive deposit and buy, but I can't say I'm bothered.

yellowraincoat · 05/06/2012 13:41

Housing Benefit peanutbutter. I guess it's one of the reasons the benefits bill is so high. Would be much better if we had more council housing, but I guess that's never going to happen.

tyler80 · 05/06/2012 13:44

I linked this when the thread came up originally but I think it's worth doing again

List of countries by home ownership rate

For a country that's 'obsessed' by home ownership we're not doing too well in the rankings.

ophelia275 · 05/06/2012 13:46

Peanutbutter - I guess there will be millions reliant on housing benefit when they are too old to earn and do not own. This is the cost of high house prices - the future generation are going to be reliant on benefits, so that one generation can have all the wealth (baby boomers) and benefits of high house prices. It's very short term thinking of subsequent governments.

tittytittyhanghang · 05/06/2012 13:52

I guess you a being a little U. Its not tragic. But for reasons already mentioned I would def still rather own than rent. The retirement age is one thing. I look forward to not paying the mortgage in so many years. I think you have more or less the same security as renting. You dont pay your mortgage, you will lose your home, same as if you don't pay your rent then you will be kicked out. Personally I do see renting as dead money. Especially private rents (where i live most private rents are actually more or less the same amount as what you would pay for a mortgage). You are essentially paying someone else's mortgage, and nothing to show at the end of it. Personally, I think 100% mortgages were a good thing for people who realised owning a house is not an investment, it is a home.

expatinscotland · 05/06/2012 14:03

YABU.

MoreBeta · 05/06/2012 14:06

"...what do lifelong renters do when they hit retirement age and still have £1000 a month rent to pay on a house?"

Erm ... no. I can move to a much MUCH cheaper house/flat than that by just giving 2 months notice. It is so much easier and cheaper than selling a house and buying another.