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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that renting at the age of 40 is abit tragic?

157 replies

katkitya · 06/07/2011 23:49

It's not how I imagined things would pan out but, here I am. It's not very grown up, is it? I just can't seem to save enough for a deposit in London on my own. My friends that have done it have done so in couples or with family money. It sucks. Am I the only one that still rents?

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 07/07/2011 09:27

There are quite a few part rent/part buy schemes available, which are ideal for people who are struggling to save a deposit. I know a few people who are buying their houses this way, but not sure if at the moment they are only available to people in certain professions. They should be available to everyone in my opinion.

Bonsoir · 07/07/2011 09:30

Well... renting has massive advantages because you are much more free to move and follow jobs and schools.

However, living in a rented property and having no equity or investment property would be very scary.

mauricetinkler · 07/07/2011 09:40

Hammy02 - 350k for a 3 bed terrace in the North? Are you sure? In decent suburbs of Leeds you can now get a good sized 3-bed terrace for 150k, easy. I know as one next door to my sis, 100 yards from train station, has sold for just that.

Miggsie · 07/07/2011 09:41

Being 50 with no chance of ever paying off the mortgage is worse surely?

Hammy02 · 07/07/2011 09:46

Mauricetinkler - I live in York. House up for sale in my street is up for £390,000.

squeakytoy · 07/07/2011 09:48

The north is a big area. I sold a huge 3 bedroom property recently for less than £150k and similar properties are on the market for £130k.

goodnightmoon · 07/07/2011 10:29

I hate the British obssession with home ownership, and the mistaken belief that "prices always go up" and renting is "dead money."

I certainly don't look down on renters - i look down on the people who think it somehow makes sense to pay a 30% premium to buy (still often the case if you compare interest-only mortgage vs. rent payments). Rents unfortunately have shot up quite a lot though in some places, namely London, so the balance starts to tip again to buying. For a single person without family help it's all much more difficult though ....

After 10 years - and now in my 40s - we're finally buying because we have cash to put down and our mortgage will be much smaller than our rent.

We have also been kicked out twice of rentals we loved and it's really a pain.

I did also worry about being retired and still paying rent. Our mortgage should be gone well before that, thankfully.

tyler80 · 07/07/2011 10:42

If you look at house ownership figures across the world I'm not sure that it is a British obsession. Some countries have higher levels some lower.

Our repayment mortgage will be 75% of our rent (similar houses same area) so for us renting is very much dead money. It's really rubbish trying to save a deposit when you're paying more in rent versus a mortgage. Being told you can't afford to buy despite the fact that you're paying your landlords mortgage.

If you look at house ownership figures across the world I'm not sure that it is a British obsession. Some countries have higher levels some lower.

Our repayment mortgage will be 75% of our rent (similar houses same area) so for us renting is very much dead money. It's really rubbish trying to save a deposit when you're paying more in rent versus a mortgage. Being told you can't afford to buy despite the fact that you're paying your landlords mortgage.

tyler80 · 07/07/2011 10:50

I seem to have a stutter! Stupid phoneave a stutter! Stupid phone

lachesis · 07/07/2011 12:18

I think that if you cannot afford to buy in a decent area whilst you have children, it might be a good plan to instead save and save. Then, once school catchment area isn't an issue and your children are adults who've moved on and you're no longer working full time, buy a one-bed flat wherever is cheap.

suzikettles · 07/07/2011 12:25

YABU.

We're living in a property that's far too small for us because we're clinging to the dream of home ownership (can't afford the next rung on the ladder and know that if we sell, without a major market correction, we'll probably never own property in the future).

The grown up thing to do in our situation would be to rent.

BeattieBow · 07/07/2011 12:28

we do both as well - rent in London and own a house outside London. I'm 41. not sure what we'll do in the long term either.

Perhaps if you want to get on the housing ladder (and like others I think that maybe this shouldn't be the obsession it is in this country) you could do it out of London?

On the other hand I think that many people think that house prices are going to fall for the next couple of years, so maybe you are better off in rented anyway.

harassedandherbug · 07/07/2011 12:35

I'm 40 and renting, and rather than it being "tragic" for us it was a sound financial move.

My dh is a self employed roofer and when the recession seemed imminent I decided we should sell the house, pay off any debt and invest the money. It was the sensible thing to do as our debts weren't large, but not small and obviously dh has no employment security at all! On our previous mortgaged house we made £25k profit in the 4 years we owned it.

I doubt we'd get a mortgage now tbh as dh isn't earning as much as he would, we've occasionally needed to dip into our money and you need such a large mortgage now and I know friends in a much better position than us who struggled to get a mortgage....

We'll just keep saving, but it's not tragic or the end of the world. We'll get there one day again, but on our own terms and until then I'm quite enjoying renting and not having to worry about the boiler packing up!!

PastyKensit · 07/07/2011 12:51

How often does a boiler pack up?

Snuppeline · 07/07/2011 12:53

I don't think renting at 40 or beyond is failing at all. It works for many as other posters have indicated and have lots of advantages in terms of mobility.

However, I would challenge the idea that the upkeep on a property is so much more than the hidden costs of renting are. If I take my own experience as an example; each time we have moved into a new property we have had to pay admin fees of about £250, then we have had to pay a yearly £150 sum to roll on our contract (despite no changes) and then a further admin fee of £250 when we move out. When we move out we also have the costs of professional cleaning £70 and professional carpet cleaning £70. So lets say we, for one reason or another, have to move every other year that would be £940. So every other year we fork out £940 just to have a roof over our head. Lets pretend we were doing that for 24 years, that would be £22 560 just in the basic renting related hidden costs. I've not even included the bloody moving van malarky...

I am pretty sure that for the same I could do maintenance on a 3 bed house which was of a fair standard when I bought it. I'm obviously only taking about essential repairs and not a "grand design" refurbishment!

In fact, what irks me most is not really the lack of control over how long I get to stay somewhere but the fact that I end up paying for their EA survices! That's how I see it anyway. So I'm saving as hard as I can to one day get off this horrid merrigoround.

Snuppeline · 07/07/2011 12:55

Sorry spelling Blush

TimeWasting · 07/07/2011 13:03

Snuppeline, I've never paid out those sort of fees. Not a given.

TheFeministsWife · 07/07/2011 13:05

YABU My mum is 54 and she rents. DH will be 40 in 3 years and we rent from a HA!

stubbornstains · 07/07/2011 13:07

I think we're at the beginning of a zeitgeist here. More and more people will have to rent in the near future, hopefully meaning that it will no longer be looked down upon as the resort of "failures".

Which, hopefully, will mean that we'll see more legislation being drafted giving tenants more rights? Mumsnet campaign anybody?

(Feeling fell and grim as have been given notice to quit with a 16-month old...)

stubbornstains · 07/07/2011 13:10

And Snuppeline, those fees do seem horrendous! I am feeling a bit bitter at the prospect of paying an agency approx. £100 for an admin fee (I'd love to ask them for a breakdown of how much setting up a tenancy is actually costing...)

Tip: move into a house that already has stained carpets!

cuteboots · 07/07/2011 13:16

I have gone from owning a house to renting due to divorce! Im not sure why people think you have to own a house as its not all its cracked up to be and I dont see anything wrong at all with renting. Surely having a roof over your head is the main thing,,,

mumblechum1 · 07/07/2011 13:17

You can't get away from the fact that you have equity locked up for the future though. If/when dh is made redundant (few people in his organisation last past 55 and he's 49), we'll sell our 6 bed detached house with no mtge, buy a little 2 bed cottage and the rest will cover our expenses till his pension kicks in.

dreamingbohemian · 07/07/2011 13:19

Snuppeline I've rented 20 years and never had to pay any of those fees. I'm pretty sure you can't get away with owning a house for 20 years and never having to pay for any maintenance.

BlimmingCheek · 07/07/2011 13:20

I bought my first house at 20 and have always owned my home until 5 years ago when we were hit by a disastrous sequence of events financially and had no choice but to sell up and came away with £4,000 of equity when we put £60,000 into the house including deposit.

We now have no option but to rent for an astronomical amount as we do not (and will not) ever have the money for a deposit (credit rating stuffed as well). We cannot save a penny after paying £1400 a month in rent and council tax.

I am nudging 40, DH is 42 and we both feel pretty shit about it. Especially as parents at the DCs school/neighbours have looked down on us for it without knowing how we are in that situation! Oh and having had to move 4 times in 5 years.

Georgimama · 07/07/2011 13:32

We rent at 32 and 38 with relative security because the property is on an estate (as in a country estate with a minted landowner) who is never going to want to live in the house himself - it is possible the whole village may need to be sold in the future to pay death duties or similar, but as the family have owned the place for 400+ years I think the eldest son is unlikely to do that unless there were no other options. It is in many ways wonderful because whilst the estate has total responsibility for the fabric of the building, within reason we can decorate however we like (and if we were to want to do anything major such as new kitchen/bathroom - we don't but others have done - the estate would agree a write down period and value so we would get a proportion back if we left.

I don't know how much the house is worth on the open market, I would say around £300K which we could never afford. The only part we do worry about is what about when we retire - assuming that ever happens - so we are going to save like mad when I go back to work after ML next year and buy something, anything, even if that is a buy to let one bed flat, just to get some equity going.