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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be forced to marry into the house of Dracul-Palanquin?

999 replies

Hullygully · 06/07/2011 12:29

OP posts:
ElectricSoftParade · 06/07/2011 22:09
BelleDameSansMerci · 06/07/2011 22:12

Mistress Hully advised dear Mr Rochester is with us in the palanquin that he might sup upon virgin blood enjoy the healthful mountain air. He lies abed under the Housekeeper's care neath a window open to the healthful airs.

BelleDameSansMerci · 06/07/2011 22:13
minimammoth · 06/07/2011 22:13

Mr Rochesters stiches are healing nicely, and only oozing gently. Igor has done a very neat job. I am considering asking for a little nip tuck whilst we are here, the good Dr Frankenstein is very good I hear.
Go careful with those poultices Miss Fids, steady with the 'creeping parson', tis hard come by.
Go steady with the wolf hunt now owowow.

ElectricSoftParade · 06/07/2011 22:17

Mr Rochester must be comfortable both with the palanquin and the tender care of the Housekeeper. He must be, indeed, a happy gentleman.

The airs are most kind to one's health, I find. One wonders if Switzerland's would prove as welcoming?

ElectricSoftParade · 06/07/2011 22:19

Poultice? Please explain the purpose, kind Ladies.

minimammoth · 06/07/2011 22:34

Poultices are used for medicinal purposes Mistress electric, and can be used for many things, to ease the gout, draw out poisons and are most efficacious for breaks and sprains. Usually accompanied by a warming posset, and various herbal tinctures. Poor Mr Rochester has had quite time under Igor's knife. but parts of him will be working beautifully, Madam Hully will be most pleased with his new prowess.

ElectricSoftParade · 06/07/2011 22:39

It appears the poultices are a boon for all afflicted. Am most interested in the warming posset and various herbal tinctures, I am in frail health.

The airs are recommended here? Does the hunting improve one's health?

CheerfulYank · 06/07/2011 23:26

Have I joined you, or am I still porch-bound with the fair Fid ? Confused My head is all aswim with befuddlement, and the Colonel's roguish gaze is only hindering the matter.

Honeydragon · 06/07/2011 23:36

Poor miss yank why the long arduous journey has left you quite confused, come away from the colonol with me for respite and supper, the others are wolf hunting but I lacked the proper equipment so linger here at the castle.

MardyBra · 06/07/2011 23:49

I saw this and thought it was a thread about the Monaco wedding.

CheerfulYank · 07/07/2011 01:24

Why thank you, Miss Honey, a light sup would set me up divinely.

BelleDameSansMerci · 07/07/2011 07:10

Ladies, I bid you good day. I am all of a flutter. In my confusion this morning, I stumbled into the Colonel's room. I found him, without the services of a valet. Despite being rooted to the spot with my mouth hanging open my haste to leave, I could swear I heard a coquettish giggle...

CheerfulYank · 07/07/2011 07:24

I pray thee not to misunderstand, Madame Belle. I stumbled upon the Colonel by accident. I was so faint from hunger and the long journey, you understand...

BelleDameSansMerci · 07/07/2011 07:32

Oh Miss Yank, do forgive my confusion. I too was somewhat disorientated else I would not have been abroad in my nightgown with little hidden in such a state of dishabille. Would you care to break your fast with me? I find myself most in need of something hot and filling.

CheerfulYank · 07/07/2011 07:43

Yes, I think a bit of a repast would steady my nerves. I am all atremble from the Colonel's biceps my arduous journey.

sybilvimes · 07/07/2011 08:05

morning, ladies. My you all look delightful today, my apologies for my absence yester eve, I fear I sadly lost my way in the dark and confusing hallways and ended up having to throw myself on the Colonel's mercy. Bizarrely his was the room I stumbled into whilst distressed

sybilvimes · 07/07/2011 08:09

Hmm, the colonel had quite the busy night didn't he? No wonder the poor fellow looks quite wan this morning...

Hullygully · 07/07/2011 08:32

Where's the cook? Breakfast is here!

OP posts:
Fiderer · 07/07/2011 09:22

Meanwhile, back at IPOAT Hall, Miss Fiderer muses aloud...
"Now that all the Ladies and Gels are in forrin parts, I shall keep the Hall going alone. It will help stop me worrying about them and I may have all ready for their return. In whatever state they may return.
Let me see, herb gathering, drying, many more poultices, tracts, pamplets... the staff to oversee, the rooms to clear and make ready... Perhaps they will need stronger fare than tisane, a stronger restorative? Beef broth? Calves' Jelly? Or perhaps they will have acquired a taste for red meat? How to cook it? I wonder if there will be time for tatting?"

minimammoth · 07/07/2011 09:34

Receiving telepathic imprints from Miss Fiderer, I feel it is my duty to return with haste back to Blighty. I fear for Miss Fids virtue, the under gardener looks far too athletic. I will of course leave the gin stilltea making apparatus. I will take my leave of the Count, he has a dentist appointment this morning and will be quite subdued. < just realising that I may possibly be a countess now, preens a bit, and practices having a bearing>

minimammoth · 07/07/2011 09:36

Veery amusing Mardybra, monaco wedding indeed. Southerners.

Fiderer · 07/07/2011 09:51

Holds letter from Mistress Mini, sent express by valiant courier riders through wind and night.
Is Delighted and Excited at the news of her imminent return but worries about the strange reddish fingerprints on the letter. Perhaps one of the riders cut a finger on a bramble while thundering to reach the night boat?

Perhaps Mistress Mini is hurt? Does she therefore need to return home? Has she perchance picked up some of the Mysterious Transylvanian Neck Inflammation mentioned by Mistress Hully?

sybilvimes · 07/07/2011 10:50

Goodness Mistress Hully you did have a busy night!

Those thigh-high boots and leather strappings to hold all the knives are looking quite the thing on you though!

BelleDameSansMerci · 07/07/2011 15:37

And the whip. The whip is very fetching and lends you an air of distinct menace authority.