to be forced to marry into the house of Dracul-Palanquin?

[Hullygully]

I fear for his wellbeing... I took him some of the blood sausage and livery treats boak from our breakfast. I fear, however, that he ails greatly as there was no response when I hammered gently knocked at his door. I entered - full of concern - but he was not abed. There was a strange, wooden box, quite large, from which I could hear gentle snores. Perhaps he is keeping some puppies therein?

At IPOAT Hall the locksmith has been fitting new iron bolts to all the doors. The windows have been fitted with new locks. It took some time and the locksmith and his apprentices were heard muttering about the unnecessary action but Miss Fiderer was adamant. She claims to have been worried by reports from and of her IPOAT companions on their travels.
She also insists that the Gamekeeper remain in the Hall with her. For Safety.

Lady Chatterley Miss Fiderer, your gentle heart, filled with lust care and concern does you credit indeed. We could all learn from your example.

Hammers at The Great Door. Miss Fiderer I am returned, and declare that I am hale and hearty, . I am also now titled. Countess Mini von Mammoth Schleppenhips. But you can call me Countess Mini von Mammoth Schleppenhips. No No I jest, plain old mistress mini will do. Now do let me in dear girl, my feet are raw, and I am in need of sustenance. a refreshing tisane and a posset or two.

Ladies, the <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMTk1ODI1MTk0Nl5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTYwMjAzNzI4._V1.SX393_SY400.jpg&imgrefurl=bookworm1858.blogspot.com/2010/02/movies.html&usg=__ZnmnXjPdjq5sZxZbKYoiVRz0fhY=&h=400&w=393&sz=26&hl=en&start=24&zoom=1&tbnid=Z8q4XmGfqVsWUM:&tbnh=161&tbnw=155&ei=6EUcTu_cCsii8QO9u4z6Bw&prev=/search%3Fq%3Drichard%2Barmitage%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DX%26biw%3D1280%26bih%3D859%26tbm%3Disch&itbs=1&iact=rc&dur=125&page=2&ndsp=23&ved=1t:429,r:10,s:24&tx=104&ty=81" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">curate has heard unlikely tales of our hunts and disporting ourselves in manners most unbecoming.

Do not rouse yourselves, I will entertan him in the drawing room. He has a most serious demeanour so I shall tempt him with someone something sweet to nibble on. I believe my sugared almonds will be just the thing.

at Countess Mini von Mammoth Schleppenhips.
Opens Hall door (...crrrrreaaaaak)
Waves mirror around to check if said Countess casts a shadow.
Peers at neck for furriness.
Looks in dictionary if such a word exists.
Offers tisane. Posset. Under-Gardener and Gamekeeper

Mistress Belle! Returned too. Sadly I have offered the Under-Gardener and Gamekeeper to Mistress (lots of forrin names) Mini to aid her in ... whatever ails her.
But possets and tisanes abound. Help yourself. Perhaps I should round up more of the domestic staff if more ladies will return.
I have taken it upon myself to fire these and have hired him and his 8 brothers and 4 cousins.
I trust I have done well.

Miss Fiderer, you have done well. I believe Madam Hully will be delighted as they seem to have a rough furriness which I think will bring a snarl smile to her lips.

I'll just take a tisane for myself and one for the <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=2.bp.blogspot.com/_1zUvc6AOrMA/S8OocPl8AHI/AAAAAAAACqQ/4LRBqnVnUsQ/s1600/not-guess-where-ive-been2.jpg&imgrefurl=angieville.blogspot.com/2010/04/in-which-i-fulfill-request.html&usg=__4wi6SoWtMEd-htMgbII-v5jspaY=&h=252&w=386&sz=27&hl=en&start=93&zoom=1&tbnid=kBYAyaFLdfdFYM:&tbnh=161&tbnw=198&ei=iEwcTt_KCIqy8gOJ4LGfCA&prev=/search%3Fq%3Drichard%2Barmitage%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DX%26biw%3D1280%26bih%3D859%26tbm%3Disch&itbs=1&iact=rc&dur=125&page=5&ndsp=23&ved=1t:429,r:19,s:93&tx=162&ty=77" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">curate. He is rather hot and I have helped him to loosen his clothing. I believe some lubrication would be the very thing.

Pray, do not be concerned if you hear me exhorting "Oh God". We are praying for my very soul...

What an energetic young man. I have never known such vigour. He is now resting upon the chaise in my chamber. He seems reluctant to return to the church.

Miss Fiderer, could we accommodate one more gentleman for dinner?

I see you are all returned safely. I cannot return just yet, I have much unfinished baying at the moon business to do in these parts. I have agreed to accompany a party of young virgins on a light traipse through the high forest this very night for a spot of star-gazing. Poor Mr Rochester ails terribly, he is in desperate need of a transfusion, but it is hard to come by. I fear it will have to be DIY.

I would have returned sooner but the librarian failed to point out the title lack of IPOAT. Pray, what has happenend to IPOAT Halls?

Not when its the colonel <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=www.nndb.com/people/829/000043700/beangrin2.jpg&imgrefurl=www.nndb.com/people/829/000043700/&h=335&w=240&sz=34&tbnid=JDHXSyvzMtnrUM:&tbnh=119&tbnw=85&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dsean%2Bbean%26tbm%3Disch%26tbo%3Du&zoom=1&q=sean+bean&hl=en-gb&usg=___5qsOAPBviG91isca304uJu1kMQ=&sa=X&ei=pmgcTtv2CMW7hAeI3o2vBw&ved=0CEYQ9QEwAg" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">hmmm

Miss Fiderer is there a carpenter amidst the new staff. I feel we might need new kennels. Rest assured Mistress Riven that life at the halls/barn continues in its usual gracious, elegent style. Gin anyone?

Come, young virgins.

Night falls and we must be away. Oh put the lantern down, Lady Youngblood, we'll have no need of it tonight. Tis a full moon.

IPOAT Hall does indeed employ a carpenter
I have endeavoured to keep the Hall going in everyone's absence.

Wait there gels, I must first show Lady youngblood the er, planets just through these trees.

Look, look up there, Lady youngblood! No higher, lift your face entirely that I may see your white white neck that you may see Venus or whatever it is.

Mistress Hully NO! Bad Mistress Hully, in your box!

Fie and curse you Mistress Honey! I must have that blood for Mr Rochester. See how wan his cheek and filmy his eye. The world won't miss just one itsy bitsy young virgin

Mistress Hully stop jabbing that virgin with your penknife and give him his iron tablets and spinach and syrup posset like usual, to you want me to get the cosh out again, do you!

Honestly what has gotten into you?