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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to find my friend's moaning about the upcoming summer holidays irritating...

52 replies

joric · 05/07/2011 13:04

She hates the holidays, I love them
I work, she is a SAHM
We both have only child DD - school age
Both our DH work approx 5 weeks out if the 6
Neither of us have family close by
She has a zillion friends where she lives, people are round for lunch regularly. I have a fewer friends and because of work don't see them often in the week.

She is moaning about her loss of free time- doesn't know what she is going to do with her DD and is arguing with her DH about him being at work.

She is starting to p* me off

OP posts:
hugeleyoutnumbered · 05/07/2011 13:15

why has she got a child if she doesn't want to spend time with her, people like that disgust me,

shakey1500 · 05/07/2011 13:18

I'm wondering if your friend is posting a thread entitled "...to find it irritating that my friend enjoys the summer holidays..." Grin

Horses for courses. She has every right to dread/hate them as you have to enjoy them.

FWIW I'm somewhere in the middle. I work PT so whilst I'm looking forward to days off where ds and I can go out for the entire day without pesky school getting in the way......the other half will bemoan the few hours of mning peace ds being at at school gives me.

cantspel · 05/07/2011 13:20

some people just like to moan

there are 3 different main types of holiday mums
1 the moaner's who see the school holidays as an interpution in their lives.
2 the competative parents competing to see how much stuff they can shove in to the 6 weeks with an endless round of worthy things to do.
3 the more normal people who just get on with it and find the odd day to have some fun along the way.

strandednomore · 05/07/2011 13:20

Summer holidays are a bit of a 'mare if you are a SAHM tbh but on the other hand she might be a little more sensitive towards you.

AuntiePickleBottom · 05/07/2011 13:23

i can not wait for the summer hoildays as a number 3 mum

Original poster
joric · 05/07/2011 13:27

Shakey :) !! I just love the holidays - we go away for a week and then spend the rest if the time doing things we find it hard to do when we are at work. I love not having to do things by a certain time- we just potter through the day!!!

OP posts:
lemmein · 05/07/2011 13:30

I used to hate the school holidays when the kids were little (I was a SAHM). I was suffering with depression, had no money and found the whole 6 weeks torture - no routine, trying to keep them occupied, constant bickering,etc. Now they're in their teens and I'm well I don't mind it, infact it flies by.

hiccymapops · 05/07/2011 13:34

Can't believe how happy I am that according to number 3, I'm normal! Grin

omnishambles · 05/07/2011 13:35

I absolutely love the summer hols with no need to get the dc up and out of the house by a certain time on my non-work days so no shouting and lotsof lazing about in the garden and going to the park - I find it so much easier than school runs and beavers and after school clubs etc.

kreecherlivesupstairs · 05/07/2011 13:35

I have 13 weeks to fill. DD finished school a couple of weeks ago, we are moving at the end of the month and she won't start again till September 5th.
I have been trying to be parent number 3 but have been more like number 1 with elements of 2.

Maryz · 05/07/2011 13:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 05/07/2011 13:44

YANBU! I too am a working mum and I love love love the summer hols..love not having the stress of the school mums and rather than work every day I drop to 3 days per week so get to spend extra time with my lovely DS.

If she resents being a SAHM so much during the hols she should get herself a job!

Original poster
joric · 05/07/2011 13:51

Yes, I have all of the holidays off - I work 4.5 days a week and can't wait.
I understand your situation lemmein, if my friend was short of money and had no transport or local friends I could sympathise with her a bit more but this isn't the case.

OP posts:
Original poster
joric · 05/07/2011 13:55

Betty - me too, I can't wait to spend 6 weeks doing nice things - no rush, no timekeeping - i love the fact you drop down to 3 days- I have another friend who works all through the hols and pays for full time holiday club for her 2 DS - this is justified by taking cheaper holidays in term time. I don't get that either!!

OP posts:
Maryz · 05/07/2011 13:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
joric · 05/07/2011 13:59

Kreecher - at least you want to be mum 3, you are only mum 1 because you're moving house!!

OP posts:
Original poster
joric · 05/07/2011 14:04

Maryz- no, she's not broke, far from it!! Lots of friends and has transport :( maybe she is depressed but I don't know- she's always telling me about all the things she does during school hours. I also appreciate it's a change for me- whist being at home isn't a change for her.

OP posts:
PandaNot · 05/07/2011 14:39

I think the problem is not so much that parents don't like spending time with their children but often that the children don't like spending all that time with their parents! They are used to being out of the house with friends all day, staying at home and pottering about is probably quite boring in comparison and parents often get the brunt of this at home with endless talk of 'what are we doing today mum?'. I know that I find it takes my children at least 10 days of the holidays to get used to not being on a timetable.

HelloKlitty · 05/07/2011 14:45

YANBU! i am like you...we don't tend to have many days out as we're on a budget but the ones we get are great. DH works but I do things when I can..arrange for relatives to pick us up as I cant' drive....I take them to the park and this year we're making a willow house in the garden!

[excited]

The kids will probs leave me to weave willow whilst they loll in fron of the telly but whatever! I like having my older DD home!

Take NO notice!

marl · 05/07/2011 14:51

I think a lot of it depends your child and their personality. I have been all of the above in terms of part time, full time and SAHM but DS1 is a real challenge when at home with no activities for holiday periods. The other 2 are much more chilled out, but I have to say for the half of the holidays when he is around I dread it and fill it with as many 'scheduled activities' as poss to save him pacing around or picking arguments because he is bored. But then I chill out with the littler ones when he is at his dad's for the second half of the hols. Having read cantspel's comment I'm now feeling paranoid the the other mums I've been harassing into joining in the holiday activity schedule will think I'm being competitive Blush Really not the case - just trying to keep my head above water!

Chandon · 05/07/2011 14:59

I think it's much harder if you have only one child, unless she's friendly with neighbours' kids.

I am a SAHM and think the hols will be fun, as my DC (6 and 8) will spend a lot of time playing together, playing with friends, I can go and meet up with other friends.

It's all quite sociable and fun. I'll take them swimming a lot I reckon.

I may book them into holiday camp for a day or 2, so I can have a day off to get things done (need to see dentist...) and will probably end up being sick to the back teeth of picnics Grin and having my house overrun by little boys Grin .

But deep down I feel that one of the points of being a SAHM is that they can have nice relaxed hols at home, and properly switch off and have a break.

aquos · 05/07/2011 15:10

I'm a SAHM and I never look forward to the holidays. My ds is no bother, he is more relaxed than term time, happy to kick back at home or be out with his friends. But my dd is awful. She hates not having the structure of school. She always wants to be going somewhere or doing something. I feel like I need to entertain her all through each day.

We are going away as a family for a week and she will be at paid activities for another 4 days, but the rest of the time I know it will be constant "Can I have / can I do / when are we going out / can so and so come round to play".

As a SAHM you really are with the kids 24/7 during the summer hols and I think it's almost inevitable that everyone becomes a bit frazzled with that amount of time together. Particulary if you have kids like my dd who miss the routine and busyness of school.

Original poster
joric · 05/07/2011 19:31

I suppose the age of my DD has a lot to do with it- older I don't know... Will enjoy while it lasts!!

OP posts:
Hulababy · 05/07/2011 19:36

I love the school holidays too. Only have one DD, now age 9y, but we get out and about, visit people, have friends round, etc. I get the whole holidays off too, so another reason to love them. We do go away for a fornight in that time too. Having an only child has its pros and cons regarding school holidays - yes, you need to try and plan more events where they can see friends or other children, but equally if you are doing activities that cost money then you don't have to spend so much.

Sad that some people find the holidays so stressful or just not enjoyable, but everyone is different I guess.

Original poster
joric · 05/07/2011 19:42

:) Hula!

OP posts:
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