Aibu to have chosen dc5 over DHs happiness

[Finallyworkedoutnamechanging]

I have name changed just so that people can't search my user name.
We have 4dcs, all was going really well until halfway through the pregnancy with dc4 when dh suddenly had a breakdown, wouldn't get out of bed, lost his job etc. A very difficult time we ended up setting up our own business so that we could work together from home and moving hundreds of miles to live near his family. Dc4 is now about to turn one and I am pregnant, it wasn't planned, is our first unplanned pregnancy. Dh has made it clear that he doesn't want the baby, he has said that it is my choice but it really is crystal clear that he doesn't want it. I can't have an abortion I just can't, we have no other reason NOT to have this baby (financially, space etc) dc4 has had very little impact on him in reality because he does so little baby care etc. He is now slipping back into his old ways, today I was in the bathroom being sick and he was banging around saying he couldn't be bothered with it again. I know this will cause his mental health to deteriorate although to what extent i dont know.

I feel as though I have chosen this baby over him now and I'm starting to feel unreasonable since I have never considered abortion at all even though I know he has but am I? If I get pregnant and he KNOWS that I would not consider abortion (and neither would he have up until 2 years ago when he first started with depression) am I unreasonable to then choose to have the baby even if I know it will cause him to deteriorate again?

Thanks for all your replies
I am feeling a little more "with it" today. I will be keeping the baby.Dh and I did have a talk last night which was useful because in some way the old him shone through a little. I have a scan tomorrow as I have a history of miscarraige (4 pregnancies, 4 losses) so we will have a clearer picture of whats going on the including firmer dates etc. I think loosing babies is one of the things which has made me very anti having an abortion I cant imagine going through that knowing I caused it?

The baby is very much wanted by me. Dh is contradicting himself in alot of ways over it - on the one hand he is saying he doesnt want another baby but on the other he is talking about giving it his fathers name as a middle name if its a boy - so I am not TOTALLY sure that he even knows what he wants at the moment.

The major plus side of last nights talk was that he has agreed to see a doctor :)

YANBU I would choose DC over DH anyday if i was already pg.

OP, that's good to hear, I hope your DH can get some good support and feel better about things. Good luck!!

OP that sounds very positive. Has your DH made an appointment yet?

Good luck with your scan.

I really do think if your DH seeks help and gets it then everything will work out just fine in the long term.

so pleased you were able to talk. all the best.xx

That's fantastic news op, I hope eveything goes well.

I think you need to think of your own mental health. If you would never terminate a much wanted baby but then got pushed into it, imagine how deeply effected you would be.