aibu to want this teacher to apologise to my son.

[wfrances]

ds age 12 takes a packed lunch to school,during 2nd lesson he notices drink has leaked in his bag {all of it}his lunch is ruined,and now has no drink.
he tells his teacher who says "i dont care, its not my problem, sit down."
im fuming, he didnt eat all day,no drink and what a wicked way to respond to a child.
phoned head of year straight away ,who totally agreed with my reaction.
but i think she should apologise to him-what do you think?

vicar if academically he succeeded then surely the school upheld their part. However boiling an egg, ?? ironing a shirt??? surley that is training /teaching that begins at home.

TheLadyEvenstar - I would make an appointment with his HoY to discuss the issues. If they are just these two subjects, then maybe a change of teacher next academic year might help (and before anyone moans that we are supposed to be super human .... sometimes there are personality clashes) or it might be that he needs a change of form/set etc

Fit2 or is it that Vicar spent so much time encouraging and helping her DS where the school were failing?

ok fittodrop, she drip fed but i'm guilty of that myself probably...I dont start every post with "my ds is dyspraxic"...same as I dont start every post with "i'm a single parent". Sometimes the back story is just toooooo long!

TLEvenstar That's exactly the same as my sons situation! Same subjects too! but add Welsh too.

At the time of Diagnosis (Primary school) we lived in a county that doesn't statement severe Dyspraxia.

Secondary school is in a different county, and i know for a fact he would've got statemented there.

TheLadyEvenstar - as much help as a lot of children need there is only so much money to go around (as I remember from the teacher bashing thread about our pensions........) a priority needs to be put in place. The issues you describe are not a schools' place to deal with; their academic achievement is and therefore the most severe cases need to have priority in the limited funding

Cricket, I meet with the school every week without fail. How many more times can I do this? The school call me over every thing he does wrong, and over nothing he does right.

I have previously recieved 6 calls in a day his crime?
Maths - he wouldn't sit down - actually transpired to there was not a seat for him to sit in so he sat at the back of the class on a table as the teacher told him "Just sit anywhere" so he took him literally.
French - he sat reading his own book - BUT the teacher had no problem with this until he took his blazer off without asking in french.
P.E - He refused to join in with the sport as he felt uneasy about it - Hockey - He suffers from RAS which means if he knocks himself he can and does pass out.

They are just 3 of his crimes the day I got all the calls.

There have also been calls because he "Disturbed the class playing with his laces in his shoes"

Cricket BUT his education is suffering so therefore it HAS become an educational need and IMHO the school are failing him massively.

sorry TheLadyEventStar I don't buy that. As a parent you cannot spend too much time encouraging and helping your child, whatever the reason and whatever and whoever is failing them , as parents thats what we do ,.

TheFrogs agree ,but drip feeding on AIBU is historically a little bit silly poor judgement

TheLadyEvenstar - what year is your DS? If he is KS3 then did the primary school not pick up on anything? If it has only recently become an issue, then is there something else going on?

If it has always been the case, then the primary school are at fault as they should have started a process of getting him assessed and on the register; at SA or SA+ in order for staff to be aware/provide support etc. Although, his secondary school should have themselves started this if these issues are happening on a frequent basis

Fit2, I never said TOO much I said SO much. There is a massive difference.

I know DS1 struggles majorly with French so I have bought a home learning course and am learning with him to assist him AND the school.

cricketballs - this is exactly the kind of misinformation that is peddled and is why i urge you to read the special needs code of practice

i am not going to explain it all again. i have no need, really. but you are very tragically misinformed.

go have a read of that old code....really.

or maybe if you want i can ship you the piles and piles of paperwork that i have on my sons very complex special needs, and point out exactly why i could have
a)taken the LEA to tribunal and won
b} sued their arses - even now

i paid for private tuition for my son. you clearly have no understanding of dyspraxia (difficulty with motor skills - gross and fine) Dyslexia or his most complex need - aspergers syndrome - its a form of autism - it rendered him exeptionally liable to bullying by both teachers and pupils and meant he was basically operating as an individual who did not understand the complexities being human - the unwritten rules, the social niceties.

why is it when you get into a lift - everyone stands facing the door? what happens if one person stands facing the others in the lift? how uncomfortable would that make people? and why? why though? its just not done is it? but WHY?
explain that to a person with aspergers. put that into words. then duplicate it 100x times every day, in every day situations, and then tell me you know what i had to do, for 19 years and counting. and then tell me that that child was not vulnerable.

my son has been attacked in the street 3 times now in the last 2 years. Yet he is gentle, amiable, his crime is to be gullible, trusting, to not "get it" when people are taking the piss unless it is cruel enough to make him feel bad.

He is extremely vulnerable. but to you that doesnt count does it because he has a high IQ?

or maybe i am just sick and tired of trying to explain to the chronically misinformed.

Cricket, after MANY years of struggling to understand his behaviour and MANY years of MNetters telling me there was more to his behaviour I forced the hands of the "agencies" involved in our lives and demanded assessment for Aspergers....he finally after 8 years was diagnosed in Febuary 2011 as having aspergers, something I first mentioned to Dr's when he was 5yrs old.

For the record.

I am constantly amazed at how parents get through the day with children with SNs.
I will not applaud and will not praise as that is patronising and the one thing I have been told by the parents of my SNs children over and over again

"don't want praise, just answers,and someone to hear what we say" and put in appropriate support where needed.

As I said in a post yesterday the thing that stands out to me is not who is right or wrong , but the total lack of support for the people who need it, whether that is teachers or pupils or both.

She said what she thought she needed to at the time fit2...it isn't really a big deal, sometimes when we're pissed off for whatever reason we just post and dont think of the details!

TheLadyEvenstar - as fit2drop has said; why has it become an educational need? Is it due to your DS's behaviour/your parenting style/or a SEN issue or is it that your DS is one of those children that are just disruptive little sods in order to have a 'street cred?

if it was an issue then you should question your primary school for not putting anything in place

how long has this been a problem?

Sorry meant to say he is now 12, 13 this month and will go into yr9 in september.

cricketballs you are mis infomed and i will not continue to engage with someone who claims to have a child with SEN, understand SEN while being so openly bigoted.

you are an arse, im afraid.

Cricket are you picking which posts to read and not?

DS1 was diagnoses in Febuary this year as having Aspergers after me asking for him to be assessed from the age of 4.5/5yrs old. Hence why it is now a problem as you put it.

theladyevenstar - sorry cross post; your real 'beef' should be with the primary school. Has your DS been placed on SA or SA+ with the seconadry school? It sounds like the information about him has not been communicated

And yes of course a 12yr old without a friend in sight is very disruptive so he can have some street cred he has about as much as my little toe fgs.

He spends his break and lunch times alone.
He was in tears on Saturday because he went to the park for 20 minutes alone and came back as he had nobody to play with.
He doesn't want to do anything for his 13th birthday as "Nobody will come mum they don't like me"

Cricket, he has been placed on nothing. He is expected to cope just like all other pupils. When I suggested dropping him down a set the reply I got was "He is going to help get this school great results we won't be dropping him down" wonderful lets worry about the schools results ffs.

The information has been handed to every teacher he has, I know this as I have handed it to them.

My DS is SA+, it doesn't mean jack if some teachers don't remember it on a daily basis.

TLEvenstar

"you clearly have no understanding of dyspraxia" get of your high horse! My DS has so many traits of syndromes that I would have your head spin.......it is not a contest of whose DC has what syndrome ffs

shouldn't this thread be in sn? any chance of mn moving it there it might be more helpful?