to be sat here crying

[biddysmama]

i have a 10 month old,a 27 month old and a 9 year old and im 10 weeks pregnant

my 9 year old is in the middle of getting his aspergers diagnosis, i know he has it, teachers,educatuional psychologist knows he has it, all we need is for the peadiatrician to officially say he has it..

he gets no help yet because theres no diagnosis, hes having a really bad time atm, everything is a fight, he wont get up, he wont go to school, school cant handle him, i cant handle him, he wont wash, he wont sit and eat and he wont go to bed at bedtime, every trip out of the house ends in meltdown, he has a meltdown every day, screaming at me that everythings my fault, im horrible,im mean, he wants to play wii, he wants to play out (we live on a busy road and obviously he cant go on his own)

i just feel like i cant cope anymore, no one can help me cos if i send him to stay somewhere he comes back 50x worse, summer holidays are coming up and i am terrified! im his mum, i love him and i should be able to cope but im just exhausted

OP I'm so glad you got that autism support letter today. You sound to me like a deeply wonderful, loving and caring mother. My thoughts are with you .

Can't even believe some of guff spouted by birds. And what is it, half the thread? Are your fingers sore?

Some women put more consideration into getting a dog than they do a baby?

A social worker you say?

Yes i remove children for fun because actually theres no such thing as a bad parent

I sincerely hope she never has cause to work those social skills on me

just because a mother does not think she is coping does not automatically equate that she isnt coping birds and therefore a bad parent. having a bad day and a cry and thinking you are a terrible mother and looking for support does not make you a bad parent. a lot of people feel they are not coping but are in fact doing bang up jobs, better jobs than some people that dont even think twice about there parenting abilities.

Yes i know, thanks.

Birds I take it from your comments that you dont have an issue with abortion? Maybe the OP does! Shes said it wasnt planned, these things happen.
I am huge risk of having another child with Autism because I already have 2, and at risk of a child with birth defects (hate that word) because of DH treatment, BUT you know what, if I feel pregnant, I wouldnt have an abortion. Yes to some that may seem very wrong, but its my life, my baby, my choice.
The OP has said shes struggling, it doesnt mean she wont cope, we are allowed bad days!

She was looking for suppport not a roasting about how much of abad mum she is, for... having another child?? She said she was struggling not that she was beating her kids with sticks because shes stressed

I haven't actually said a word about the Op being pregnant, read my posts, i had an issue with the a poster asking one question and being told to fuck off and called a twat. I haven't posted towards the OP.

I am actually posting on the abortion clinic advetising threads. I would apprieciate not being made assumptions about, as i have been, constantly.

Or is it complusary to join in witch hunts? didn't read that in MN rules, sorry.

Seems to be Bird, sadly.

Oh so glasses mustn't have her delicate little feelings hurt but the woman posting in tears is fair game to have her whole life picked apart?

Wow, Birds. Just wow.

I am not clompaining about being ganged up on, just pointing out that i haven't mentioned the OP situation, yet others are making assumptions and coming out with crap. It has been a common theme on posters not actuaaly reading threads and it is becoming more common, to jump on a bandwagon without knowing the facts.

Can you be unpleasant to parents of non-disabled parents? What is the difference as long as the disability/any aspect of condition or the disabled person isn't being insulted? Can parents who produce a disabled child do no wrong? As i said, having a child with a disability doesn't make you a saint, my DD's are gifts, i am sick of being asked how i cope, like they are a cross to bear..

I am quite vocal with my defence on any form of discrimination or benefit bashing and often put an end to posters who are actually twats, but someone who asks a quesion, isn't a twat, might be misguided, unhelpful etc.

Sorry for typos.

You haven't said anything about the op, but you said about parents having more children, adding to their stress, using better birth control ect so how should that be read?? I don't think it's a disabled child thing, I think posters on mn just like to pull people up when they are being unkind when it's clearly not helpful at all. Seriously where have your posts been at all helpful to op?? Yeah didn't think so

I wasn't directing at the OP, alough some took it like that. No one attacked the OP but was pounced on, glasses asked a question, if the OP didn't want to answer, she should have been given the opportunity to say. I have argued the case when people will not name their medical conditions, we are allowed privacy on here, but others jumped in, some posters seen to think that they have the right to police threads and totally direct it.

If you look at some of the recent posts now i am apparently a liar and i'm not a SW, i am a regular poster and started posting after CP issues were not being given the right advice. Pull my other posts apart, i have seen that done, fault me on one aspect of social care law or care, that i have posted on. I have pulled others apart when it is obvious that they are not teachers etc.

The OP left, the arguement continued.

YANBU for having a cry and dreading the holidays. Parents without special needs children can dread holidays as well. Have your good cry checkout sure start and any other help you can get. I hope you have a lovely summer.xxx