I already know this is a complete waste of effort. But here goes, for the sake of transparency.
Dittany, others (whom I think you respect more than you do me) have expressed my own opinion this morning:
It is good to actually explore whether people are saying what you think they are before attacking it.
I think you bear grudges and personally attack and insult and belittle people who disagreed with you once somewhere, I don't like it. I dislike your nitpicky approach at times, sometimes it's in pursuit of a valid point but often it's not. Your approach makes lots of posters feel cowed and bullied.
It is a tone that patronises and belittles that you can't quite put your finger on. It isn't something that can be reported. Half the time it is a feeling of unease and confusion about what actually happened. I don't think it is exclusive to you either.
Overall, I like your politics but I think you need to back off and admit you're wrong sometimes.
This isn't exclusive to you, but it is usually done in support of you or in correct anticipation of your outrage. It produces exactly the same reaction in your target as emotional abuse does. I've called you on this a few times, and was labelled manipulative. Only four people have ever called me manipulative: my father, my husband, my flatmate and my boss. They were all abusers (abusing other people as well as me). They called me manipulative when I challenged their tactics.
I don't know you outside of MN and I'm not calling you an abuser; I'm highlighting a parallel between your behaviour and some behaviours I've known in real life. Your attacks online have provoked the same reactions in me as theirs.
I think it's also important to point out bullying and personal attacks when you see them. To ignore those makes you complicit IMO.
I have no recourse other than avoiding the FWR board. You've told me not to post on so many threads, there aren't many left that interest me anyway!
Obviously, I can still post where I like but it becomes pointless when the most influential poster - you, Dittany - has dictated that I be ignored or pushed away. I'd end up having a discussion by myself and suffering flashbacks!
To address the long-term grudges you've expressed against me:-
----------
1] You've accused me of hounding you from thread to thread. That's simply incorrect. I've never hounded anyone on any website. That would be bullying.
To stress your point, you've repeatedly outed my namechanges. That's poor netiquette, against the rules of most forums, and could even have been dangerous in RL for all you knew.
2] You've called me a DV apologist because I refuted your attacks on Erin Pizzey's refuge initiative. You called me a DV apologist, not a Pizzey apologist. You accused me of lying about my feminist involvement in the seventies, told me that things I experienced did not happen, and ignored Erin when she came onto the thread to explain herself.
That thread is online: Pizzey posted as "patria", if anybody wants to search and form their own opinion.
You were still calling me a DV apologist, and accusing me of supporting violence against women, more than a year after that thread finished.
3] You claim I accused you of victim-blaming in rapes. That thread no longer exists, but I remember the incident. I know you never blame a rape victim. Neither do I; the idea's anathema to both of us. Here's my recollection:
The discussion was about young women wearing 'pornified' fashion. You made a remark that suggested girls "dressing like porn stars" invites some men to see them as sexual easy meat (not your words). I agree with that in itself, however I was arguing the case for girls to be able wear whatever they like.
What shocked me about your post was the expression "like porn stars". I re-read it several times, trying to understand its apparent judgementalism. In my reply, I said your comment could be seen as victim-blaming on the basis of their clothes. Everything then kicked off big time. Several other posters to that thread saw what I was trying to say, and attempted to defuse the argument, but it was a lost cause.
In effect, you've misrepresented my criticism of your choice of expression as an attack on the very foundation of your feminism. It wasn't.
----------
You're very bad at taking criticism, Dittany. I've hardly ever seen you take anything back or apologise, even for hurting someone's feelings. Evidently I haven't read everything you've posted so perhaps I've just been unlucky. I doubt it.
Telling people not to post because you don't like what they write, or because you disapprove of the turn a conversation has taken, is incredibly rude and overbearing. It wouldn't matter much if you weren't a dominant force in FWR, but you are. It's also hypocritical, since you're happy to tell OPs they have no right to complain if their own threads take an unexpected direction.
I repeat, as I have so many times, I agree with at least 70% of your politics and you have helped me to firm up my views on some important issues. But, then, so have many others - without resorting to domineering tactics.
I really don't expect my post to make any difference to anything. Just hoping to clear the air somewhat.