To have a (genuine) list of things which DD and DS are not allowed to do when they grow up? and if not, what are yours

[LittleOneMum]

So when DS was born,

Oh mine have sweets and can go into the porn industry if they like ... I think DH would die if they went on X Factor though. Whenever it is on he starts saying some really intellectual guff about how it is "damaging the fabric of society" or something.

Oh yes and that one AuntieMonica!

i haven't really thought too much about it and am preferring to hope that they wouldn't be interested in things i thoroughly disapprove of anyway.

but
no
motorbikes.

A ban on motorbikes and joining the forces here, too. Oh, and I won't pay for their driving lessons. Hopefully they'll be a bit older whne they can afford to drive, and less likely to act the prat.

It is light-hearted in a semi-serious way. Let me explain - if DS came to me and wanted to be in the forces I would sit him down and explain to him how I felt, whilst still reassuring him that whatever decision he makes, I would always love and support him.

But I do think DH would disown them both if they went on X Factor - shame, as my 14 month old DD does a great wiggly dance already.

Become a tory MP

Commit suicide
Take any drugs that have the ability to kill - if they want to smoke the odd joint I can cope with that
Choose a highly dangerous career - front line armed forces, lion tamer, medical guinea pig, bodyguard etc
Kill either of their parents
Have a football themed bedroom

Become a glamour model. I would have seriously failed if DD did this.

Loving 'wear sportswear when not doing sport'
Hahahaha

I'd be happy if they wanted to be strippers tbh. As long as it's what they wanted to do, however;

No drugs
No reality tv shows
No to being Labour, Lib Dem or Green party members (my mum is a Green party member and was disgusted when I started voting Tory, the liberal swine!).
No to being Police Officers (it's weird, but every police officer says this)!

Oh cattleprod those are seriously good ones.

I'm going to have to tell DH that I'm revising my number to about ten.

Maybe he'll let me revise my list of "one person I am allowed to shag if the opportunity came up" to ten as well. I'm not sure that I am ever going to meet Jarvis Cocker and the wait is making me itchy

Whenever we pass the idiots in the village who terrorise the locals riding their mopeds on pavements etc, dh half jokingly tells dd that she is not to bring boys like them home.

I think dh would die more if any of mine were on Deal or No Deal rather than Xfactor.

Smoke. They know that one already

DDs been told she can't date until she's 40 (DH's rule, which I like to tease him about as I was only 15 when we started going out, and no he's not completely serious) I retaliated with 'no dating ever' for the boys

And another one for 'no reality TV shows'.

You do all realise that you can cross the road on your feet and be killed don't you?!

My two must not become like their areshole fathers!

Awomancalledhorse. Arg, so it does actually happen then! What should I do to avoid your mother's terrifying fate? Does she have any tips so I can avoid my children going down the same horrific path?

When they are grown up they can do whatever they like... are you planning on telling them the rule? It might backfire...

My Dad isn't allowed a motorbike, his mum won't let him. He is 63. Poor bloke!

I guess for me its things I'd really rather they didn't do, as opposed to not allowed to do. So my list would be:

get a tattoo
get a motorbike
rockclimbing
bungee jumping
smoke
drink too much
do drugs
join the forces
be a slapper like this (would hang my head in shame!)

I'm really hoping DD does not want to become a ballet dancer or chef.

If she gets a motorbike I'm getting a big sledgehammer.

libelulle, all my mums children have turned out to be Tories, so I don't think you can avoid it!
Although we could always swap children if yours see sense & mine go to the dark side

Motorbike
Joining the Armed Forces
Backpacking in Columbia

smartyhan i really hope you a joking, but part of me feels you are not

My main thing has always been I wouldn't DC's to play football, but only because I find it mind numbingly dull (and I come from a rugby family)

DP has just bought her a foam football - should I leave him now?

They must never get a white carpet.

Seriously, I've done a lot a naughty stuff and learnt from every one of my mistakes, but that is my only regret and one nugget of wisom I feel genuinely able to hand down the generations

Well now that you've made me think about it...

No X-Factor, no game shows, no reality tv, in fact no tv of any kind - unless they happen to be actors (and then no shitty soaps)! Although I may make an exception for appearing on the news (good reasons only obviously), documentaries, decent comedy stuff...

I accept the fact that they probably will ride motorbikes as my DH does. I just hope they ride in the way that my DH does now and not the way he rode when he was a teenager!

DH and I often speculate over which jobs we would like the DSs to do in order to earn maximum £££ for minimum risk. We've pretty much settled on Premiership footballer for DS1, although the fact that we know nothing about and have very little interest in football probably won't help much. The biggest issue may be DS1s rather hands on approach to football though...

Play golf
Drive a Volvo
Wear driving gloves
Call trousers "slacks"

All verboten.