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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

aibu to feel pissed off cos iv been let down yet a fucking gain!

51 replies

M0naLisa · 04/07/2011 13:32

:( iv got a college interview tomorrow at 9am. I asked my mate if she would look after my boys so I could have the interview without the kids interrupting and moaning. I just get a message now to say she's going to have to cancel cos her back is hurting. She does have problems with her back I know I'm bu with that but ffs its all the fucking time everyone let's me down at the last minute :(

OP posts:
LittleOneMum · 04/07/2011 13:33

can no one else help?

Original poster
M0naLisa · 04/07/2011 13:36

Iv got two cousins and an auntie in the area one cousin working the other in spain. Auntie will be working too. :(

OP posts:
Original poster
M0naLisa · 04/07/2011 13:36

Iv got two cousins and an auntie in the area one cousin working the other in spain. Auntie will be working too. :(

OP posts:
hellospoon · 04/07/2011 13:36

Can't anyone else step in? Is it an option to take them with you?

hellospoon · 04/07/2011 13:36

Can't anyone else step in? Is it an option to take them with you?

RabidRabbit · 04/07/2011 13:36

Her back is hurting at 1.30pm today, so she can't watch your boys for an hour tomorrow at 9am? Confused Tell her to take some bloody painkillers and suck it up for an hour, as you would for her if she was trying to better her life.

SydSaid · 04/07/2011 13:37

It's not last minute. You have nearly a full days notice, and although it is annoying, it's not half as problematic as having a bad back.

Some college's have creches - could you ask if they have one?

LittleOneMum · 04/07/2011 13:37

where are you? I'll mind your boys for you!

oohjarWhatsit · 04/07/2011 13:38

you cant just turn up for a college creche - you have to enrol

they just dont take randoms in off the street - or at least ours doesnt

Original poster
M0naLisa · 04/07/2011 13:38

I feel like saying that to her! :( I live 30+miles away from family (sis mum although mum works nights) I'm going to have to take them with me, don't know what college will say though! Hopefully should be ok!

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Original poster
M0naLisa · 04/07/2011 13:38

I feel like saying that to her! :( I live 30+miles away from family (sis mum although mum works nights) I'm going to have to take them with me, don't know what college will say though! Hopefully should be ok!

OP posts:
SydSaid · 04/07/2011 13:40

oohjar, I didn't suggest that she 'just turn up' to the college creche, I suggested that she asked them about it.

Original poster
M0naLisa · 04/07/2011 13:40

Our college has a year waiting list for the creche! I have a grandad in the next town but I don't have the car at min as its in the garage so I'm the bike would take me 2 hours to get to my grandads.

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Original poster
M0naLisa · 04/07/2011 13:40

Our college has a year waiting list for the creche! I have a grandad in the next town but I don't have the car at min as its in the garage so I'm the bike would take me 2 hours to get to my grandads.

OP posts:
RabidRabbit · 04/07/2011 13:41

How old are your boys?

Original poster
M0naLisa · 04/07/2011 13:42

I'm in east riding. I'm going to ring college to see if boys can go with me. Just hope they say I can.

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Original poster
M0naLisa · 04/07/2011 13:42

I'm in east riding. I'm going to ring college to see if boys can go with me. Just hope they say I can.

OP posts:
Original poster
M0naLisa · 04/07/2011 13:49

They are nearly 5 and 3.

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Original poster
M0naLisa · 04/07/2011 13:49

They are nearly 5 and 3.

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RabidRabbit · 04/07/2011 13:53

So it's not like she needs to carry them anywhere... she could technically let them sit in front of CBeebies for an hour munching some toast whilst you go to your interview?

Can you not text her back saying something along the lines of "Is there really no chance of you watching them for the hour pretty please? You are free to plonk them in front of the TV whilst you put your feet up, they'll be no bother, but will be bored and fidgety at my interview and the focus will end up being on them, not me..."

Bad back or not, I really don't think watching kids of that age for an hour is too much of an ask, especially in these circumstances. It's not like you're going on a shopping trip and stopping for cake and coffee.

PrettyMeerkat · 04/07/2011 13:56

M0na Why do your posts keep coming up twice? Weird!

I can understand how you feel! I have no family that can help either.

I have one close relation in my DHs side who offers to help and then changes her mind because she'd rather go shopping, leaving us unable to attend a friends wedding, to take my DH to A&E (she was busy gardening), for me to go to work (lost the job because of it) etc. I now can't ask or accept her help as it is unreliable, so can't work any more.

I have also asked when suffering from depression and was finding every single second of every single day a huge struggle, she said no, she was too busy. Not too busy today/this week, just too busy as in "forever". This is the person who gets upset that they don't see my children and who looks after other children in the family on a weekly basis (through her own choice) and every other day in the school holidays as she doesn't work.

I have to take my children to EVERYTHING which can be very difficult. It's very hard to have an eye test when you have 2 toddlers with you or a root filling or smear test.

I have never attempted taking them to an interview although did take the youngest to my counselling once as he was too young to understand what was being said. Not too young to be alarmed that mummy was crying.

cookcleanerchaufferetc · 04/07/2011 13:57

I hope you did not call the college. You do not want to give the impression that you do not have anyone to look after your children in an emergency. where I am it is hard to get college places and so phoning them to ask if you can take the kids is unprofessional and very detrimental to your application.

Surely your 5 year old should be in school? Can't you get to the playground early and ask them to ensure he goes into school okay? That would mean your friend only has to deal with a 3 year old.

Original poster
M0naLisa · 04/07/2011 13:58

I'm on my phone and some reason its likes to post my posts twice, highly annoying!

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Sewmuchtodo · 04/07/2011 13:58

Can I ask what your childcare plans are if you are accepted onto the course?

DH interviewed a woman for a course who arrived with her 3 kids....one piddled the carpet in his office mid interview (the poor woman must have been mortified!). He accepted her but did ask at the time what her future childcare arrangements were as he was her course leader and she had applied for a bursery which needed 93% attendance and didn't want her to end up paying back course fees if she fell below that percentage.

Original poster
M0naLisa · 04/07/2011 14:03

Iv not rung cos of the above. But no, he is 4 - 5 in sept so is still at PM nursery. I'm just going to take them with me and say 'sorry my childcare let me down this morning' september will be different because both kids start school in sept. 4yr oid starts full time on 26th sept and 3yr old start afternoon nursery but I can change that If need be and if there ever any problems with classes been all day I can put him to nursery for the full day. But then I can also ask my grandad to take him and pick him up if need be. Tomorrow grandads car in for MOT at 9am so would ask him to have boys but they got no car for morning. I'll just go to college and say childcare let me down.

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