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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think it is just not necessary to have a dining table anymore?

725 replies

LDNmummy · 04/07/2011 13:24

Traditionally it has always been the look of a good home to have a dining table, preferably with its own area/ room in a house for family gatherings.

But, with modern life as it is, I just don't think it is necessary to have one anymore, unless of course you genuinely use it at least once a week. But do most families anymore?

I don't know many families who still go through the process of sitting around the dining table every weekend let alone every day, possibly for the fact that it is a little extra effort people are not as formal about anymore and sitting together doesn't have to be around a table but even just in the living room watching the telly together IYSWIM.

Plus, houses are not always big enough to accomodate a large family sized table and some may just feel it isnt worth the hassle to cram one in.

I also think this about the large cabinets that traditionally housed all a households fine dining wear that would come out on special occasions.

Aren't these bulky pieces of furniture that take up lots of space and are rarely used outdated now except with older people?

My MIL has a six seater table in the living room that could easily fit eight diners but is used properly about once a year. Half the reason for that is that it is too big and has to be crammed against a wall so isnt convenient to sit around daily or even weekly anyway. She also has a very large display cabinet full of her best dining wear wich is only used when special guests such as family travelling from abroad are visiting, which is rarely.

She is about 60 and in her eyes these two items of furniture are essential to beautify a home as well as for practical reasons, which IMO is questionable. My DM and all the older women in my family feel the same way.

But isnt this just all outdated and unecessary faff a house can do without in a time when people are no longer as formal when it comes to situations such as dining?

OP posts:
proudfoot · 04/07/2011 15:25

YABU. I grew up eating at the table every day and think it is a nice part of family life, so I do need a dining table. Also like to have friends over for dinner which requires a decent sized table.

LDNmummy · 04/07/2011 15:26

Ladymuck I have actually raised a sibling before so don't need you to be patronising.

He is a teenager now so obvioulsy that stage is far behind and It is simply a case of not having thought enough about this specific issue.

OP posts:
chandellina · 04/07/2011 15:27

are you really happy sitting with a plate on your lap in front of the telly? I can't imagine not having a big table, though I do agree it's overkill when people have one table in the kitchen and a second, more formal dining table in a separate room.

verytellytubby · 04/07/2011 15:28

I don't have a dining room but couldn't be without my kitchen table.

I don't think I've ever been in a home without a table of some sort. Strange concept!

LDNmummy · 04/07/2011 15:30

And we live in a large family with some siblings at the moment (cultural) DH and I are branching off now as we are having a child so no one younger than late teens at present.

OP posts:
Ladymuck · 04/07/2011 15:30

So if your sibling is still a teenager are they still living with you?

LDNmummy · 04/07/2011 15:31

Again, the plate is not on lap.

We have various side tables and use serving trays and coasters as a must.

OP posts:
Hullygully · 04/07/2011 15:33

I really don't think plates on laps are a good idea.

LDNmummy · 04/07/2011 15:34

No, I have played a parental role in his life and still do though to a lesser extent now he is older so obviously little details about raising a toddler have been forgotten, much like with many parents whose children have grown up.

OP posts:
chandellina · 04/07/2011 15:35

dining tables fulfill a really basic function. They are just better designed for purpose than eating off a side table, and encourage more social interaction because people are facing eachother.

Spuddybean · 04/07/2011 15:36

We always have every meal at the table. Breakfast and dinner everyday and lunch if we are working from home.

We have just moved (last month) and when the dining table was covered in boxes i suggested we eat our dinner (pasta) off our laps, my DP looked at me as if i'd told him i'd just shat in his shoe!

So he moved the boxes and we ate at the table.

takethisonehereforastart · 04/07/2011 15:37

We have a table and we use it for lots of things besides eating at.

I wouldn't call our meals formal either, they can still be relaxed and chatty at a table.

Hullygully · 04/07/2011 15:39

I don't think people should eat off their laps. Hygiene.

Pagwatch · 04/07/2011 15:39

I have two big tables for meals.
We sometimes eat in front of the telly - supper on sat often coincides with dr who for example. But not eating from a table is awkward and not especially good really however many trays and tables and bits and stuff you have.

SherlockHolmes · 04/07/2011 15:48

I think it's really slovenly to sit on easy chairs eating every day. Meals should be eaten at a table, with a knife and fork. Saturday evenings we often have a "snack" meal (pizza or other finger food) which is fine to be eaten while watching TV or the like, but proper meals should be round a table/breakfast bar. I think if your life is too busy to manage to lay a table then there's something seriously wrong with it. So yes, YABU.

Hullygully · 04/07/2011 15:49

Yes, op, you are a SLATTERN and a SLUT. Get that damn food off your lap.

encyclogirl · 04/07/2011 15:50

The side table thing seems awkward and a bit of a faff tbh. I would feel all crowded by the food items littering the side tables and would find meal times stressful. Also instead of lingering around the dinner table chatting, I'd have to clear all that paraphenalia away pronto, which would make mealtimes a bit stressy.

To me the lounge/sitting room is designed for relaxing in. I like my sitting areas to be as clutter free as possible. Introducing food into those areas would miss the whole point of them. We have cups of tea in there, but no other food. I get the hebejebees if the dc take an apple in and don't bother disposing of the apple core immediately.

Please tell me I'm not the only person that feels this way?

Empusa · 04/07/2011 15:51

"I think if your life is too busy to manage to lay a table then there's something seriously wrong with it."

Why are you assuming it's about people not wanting to lay a table?

LDNmummy · 04/07/2011 15:54

Damnit Hully a Slattern yes, but a slut Shock

Is it because of the time I considered making love to my postman while we balanced our freshly heated ready meals on each others heads while watching the Royle family?? How did you know?

OP posts:
LDNmummy · 04/07/2011 15:55

Each person clears up after themselves so I only take care of mine or DH's stuff IYSWIM.

OP posts:
Hullygully · 04/07/2011 15:59

I was watching

LeQueen · 04/07/2011 16:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LeQueen · 04/07/2011 16:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DaisySteiner · 04/07/2011 16:41

My MIL doesn't have a dining table. We're all expected to eat off lap-trays and the children kneel at a child-sized plastic table. It is very, very bizarre, nobody chats over dinner, it's just heads down, guzzle guzzle. I have tried for 11 years to get used to it, but I can't and I refuse to go there for xmas dinner any more Blush

The first time DH's younger step-sisters came to visit they were all wide-eyed with astonishment at the sight of a table to eat off! 'Wow, it's like being at a carvery' they said Shock

bitchplop · 04/07/2011 16:43

Get a table.

Tis obvious innit.