to think it is just not necessary to have a dining table anymore?

[LDNmummy]

Traditionally it has always been the look of a good home to have a dining table, preferably with its own area/ room in a house for family gatherings.

But, with modern life as it is, I just don't think it is necessary to have one anymore, unless of course you genuinely use it at least once a week. But do most families anymore?

I don't know many families who still go through the process of sitting around the dining table every weekend let alone every day, possibly for the fact that it is a little extra effort people are not as formal about anymore and sitting together doesn't have to be around a table but even just in the living room watching the telly together IYSWIM.

Plus, houses are not always big enough to accomodate a large family sized table and some may just feel it isnt worth the hassle to cram one in.

I also think this about the large cabinets that traditionally housed all a households fine dining wear that would come out on special occasions.

Aren't these bulky pieces of furniture that take up lots of space and are rarely used outdated now except with older people?

My MIL has a six seater table in the living room that could easily fit eight diners but is used properly about once a year. Half the reason for that is that it is too big and has to be crammed against a wall so isnt convenient to sit around daily or even weekly anyway. She also has a very large display cabinet full of her best dining wear wich is only used when special guests such as family travelling from abroad are visiting, which is rarely.

She is about 60 and in her eyes these two items of furniture are essential to beautify a home as well as for practical reasons, which IMO is questionable. My DM and all the older women in my family feel the same way.

But isnt this just all outdated and unecessary faff a house can do without in a time when people are no longer as formal when it comes to situations such as dining?

Depends what you mean by a dining table. What's the difference between a dining table and a big kitchen table? You definitely need one or the other, but not both. We eat three meals a day at our dining table, but it's in the middle of a big kitchen/dining/family room. In fact we also often sit there for a snack or a cup of tea. It's compact enough for 4 to feel comfortable, but can be extended to squeeze 14 at a pinch.

I agree that we wouldn't have much use for a separate dining table in a formal dining room and sometimes I look at bigger, more expensive houses and realise that's about all we would gain by moving (no thanks!). I prefer our set up, but if I had a small kitchen with a small table in it then I would want a separate dining table that could sit at least 8.

Most families I know these days have a big kitchen diner but no separate dining room - or if they are don't they are planning the building works!

Well, ConcernedMum, I couldn't face Christmas one year, ddDH had died a few months before. Just wanted to hide under my duvet until the day was over.

Mother rang and told me I should cook a Christmas dinner from scratch with all the trimmings and set the table (for one), because "it's Christmas", even though all I could barely move, and foodwise, cup-soups and Vegemite toast was all I could manage to eat.

Does that make me "silly!!!"?

We don't have a table to eat at, or the space to put one, or a television either for that matter. Most mealtimes involve the children sitting on a blanket on the floor, me sitting with baby in armchair and DH playing on the sodding computer.
I don't think its outdated at all and I would love a dining table for us all to sit and eat at, but there just simply isn't enough room in our home for one!

What's the difference between a dining table and a big kitchen table? You definitely need one or the other

Or the third option, you don't need either and work with what little space and options you have. I don't get why people can't open their minds to the fact that people live differently.

Agree this day and age is busy, we are lucky if we are all ever at home at the same time to eat, OH works late weekends and i get home late after work midweek, children are in bed.

Eat on our laps most days which I love as so easy, boys on their table next to me in the living room. We sit at a dining table at my parents who have the space once a week or so. We have a dining table which seats 10 and comes out every Christmas!

OH has terrible memories of his formal parents during his upbringing, insisting he only ate at a table and could not leave until he finished everything, so he will do anything not to sit at one now at home.

We are quite happy with the arrangement, does not teach children right or wrong imo, as long as they sit at one sometime. No big deal - we still talk to each other and thrive as a family.

When we were buying a house together DH and I bought a lovely big wooden dining table and 8 chairs to go in our lovely big dining room. It cost a stupid amount of money and we - even more stupidly - spent the same again on a matching huge cabinet thing.

We use our dining room on Christmas Day. One day a year. Over 4 grand of furniture for one day a year. The rest of the year we eat at the kitchen table (which cost £199 from John Lewis). Madness. I keep saying to DH we ought to get rid of the table and make the DCs a playrooms but he says we can't until it breaks and it will never break because it is forged from trees, steel and the despair which leaks from my soul each time I walk past it.

Our dining table is used much more often than our sofas

What's the difference between a dining table and a big kitchen table? You definitely need one or the other

Or the third option, you don't need either and work with what little space and options you have. I don't get why people can't open their minds to the fact that people live differently.

OK, maybe not need (how many things do we really need?). Some people are obviously living in tiny spaces that won't fit a large table . But if you've got the space then I think it has to rank has highly desirable for most families.

We eat every meal at the table. It's more comfortable for us grown ups, but also I wouldn't trust my kids with a big plate of food on my couch or rug. It's not formal, it's just how we do it.

I remember my parents getting a dining table for the first time after we moved house (age 11 ). It was horrible. I missed TV and the floor.

We use our EVERY day - for breakfast and dinner! With 3 children we want them to grow up with manners and knowing how to sit at a dinner table - it always surprises me how many comments we get about our childrens table manners and manners in general. Quite sad really as manners cost nothing and eating together is lovely to catch up with each others day. Fair enough if one parent has to work but no excuse for it really!

We only ever DON'T use the table at maybe lunch time on a Saturday afternoon when we might have pizza on the sofa. I would never be without my table, 'setting' it is no hassle whatsoever, it takes no more time than grabbing a lap tray and a knife and fork. It has the ability to be formal, but this isn't the norm, it's the natural place my three year old even, goes to eat. Your logic is sad to me.

Where would you eat your Sunday roast without a dining table?

Ah! Was initially surprised, then read on. No small kids yet! Yea, you don't want your 2 year old spilling yogurt all over your sofa!

Before children, we generally are much like you. Started changing to small chair and small table. Realised how much extra work I was making for myself and now I'll never do without the dining table!! Even if in another 15 years time it slowly becomes special occasions meals only!

Good luck and congratulations!

YABU
We have a large kitchen table which is used 2-3 times a day for eating (we try to eat together) and then also for food prep, homework, kids crafts and painting etc. We only let kids eat snacks away from the table, they have to sit down properly for meals, mainly to save the house from the mess.
We also have a huge dining room table which we use when we have friends and family round for meals, I use for meetings (I work from home and find it makes a good boardroom when I have a few people round or need to layout drawings/photos) and for sewing stuff on when I need a huge flat surface.
I wouldn't be without my tables, i've even got another table in the conservatory and one outside on the patio.....all get used regularly.

Yes but I dont need a dining table to teach my children good manners. They know how this works since eating on their own table next to us in the living room. at nursery, at school, friends and family houses etc. They always help with laying and clearing up afterwards where they can.

Also the times we do have together we try to go out to restaurants to enjoy our family time as we rarely get together to eat. Which is what the OP is saying.

I get where people are coming from, I like eating at a dining table but space, convenience and busy city life does not allow, we are still happy and well mannered. But I don't get people frowning down so much on it though.

We use ours for every meal except Saturday night when DP and I watch TV together. But despite the replies here, no table does seem to be the norm - most of the new build 3 bed houses have scrapped the dining room entirely and now you're lucky if you can cram a breakfast table into your kitchen. We had hell finding our current rented property, as everywhere was too small for our six seater dining table.

My question was about whether or not MODERN LIVING makes it a bit pointless.

No.

Now I will RTFT.

Busy city life?? It takes the same time to eat a meal whether you're standing up / sitting at a table / slobbing on the sofa. How could having a busy life in a city prohibit eating at a table?

We don't have the room in our flat, we have 2 massive bedrooms but a tiny TV room and kitchen. We have a fold out table which we never fold out except at Christmas, because there's no room. If we ever win the lottery and buy a big house in the country, we want a big kitchen with an 8 seater table.

It might not be necessary for you, it is for me.
YABU to think your way of doing things is the way everybody should do things. I wouldn't dictate to you and I hope you wouldn't dictate to me.
My home needs to be geared up to meet the needs of various disabilities and a steady solid dining table is absolutely necessary. We live in a very tiny house all the same I can manage to get a folding dining table into the space we have allocated for daily living so we can eat together comfortably at least twice a day every day.

We use our table for breakfast, lunch and dinner every single day. IMO YABU but it is ultimately a personal choice.

Yabu, I initially thought you meant a formal dining table but actually you just mean any kitchen table. We eat every meal around our kitchen dining table, whether it's just me or the whole family. I would get rid of the sofa and the tv before the kitchen table.

We're exactly the same as ProfYaffle - also have a kitchen diner and eat our meals at the table. The evening meal is a good opportunity for everyone to catch up with what the others have been doing all day.

We have a 10 seater dining table. We used it all the time. Half is used for homework/arts&crafts and the other half for eating. We have 2 kids ages 6 & 4. We like to sit around the table and talk about things. My husband and Iboth work and it's nice to find the time to talk about our day. YABU

Even when husband and I had no children and were living in central London 1 bed flat we had a table and chairs. It meant no room for a sofa but we had friends over for dinner/party every weekend. Now we have a zone 3 two bed & 2 kids and our huge seats 10 kitchen table is most used furniture after our beds. We all eat almost all our meals together there. (Even with both of us working full time and all the trappings of modern city life).