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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think it is just not necessary to have a dining table anymore?

725 replies

LDNmummy · 04/07/2011 13:24

Traditionally it has always been the look of a good home to have a dining table, preferably with its own area/ room in a house for family gatherings.

But, with modern life as it is, I just don't think it is necessary to have one anymore, unless of course you genuinely use it at least once a week. But do most families anymore?

I don't know many families who still go through the process of sitting around the dining table every weekend let alone every day, possibly for the fact that it is a little extra effort people are not as formal about anymore and sitting together doesn't have to be around a table but even just in the living room watching the telly together IYSWIM.

Plus, houses are not always big enough to accomodate a large family sized table and some may just feel it isnt worth the hassle to cram one in.

I also think this about the large cabinets that traditionally housed all a households fine dining wear that would come out on special occasions.

Aren't these bulky pieces of furniture that take up lots of space and are rarely used outdated now except with older people?

My MIL has a six seater table in the living room that could easily fit eight diners but is used properly about once a year. Half the reason for that is that it is too big and has to be crammed against a wall so isnt convenient to sit around daily or even weekly anyway. She also has a very large display cabinet full of her best dining wear wich is only used when special guests such as family travelling from abroad are visiting, which is rarely.

She is about 60 and in her eyes these two items of furniture are essential to beautify a home as well as for practical reasons, which IMO is questionable. My DM and all the older women in my family feel the same way.

But isnt this just all outdated and unecessary faff a house can do without in a time when people are no longer as formal when it comes to situations such as dining?

OP posts:
hidingwithwine · 04/09/2016 09:00

We have an 8 seater table (we are a family of 5) and use it every day. Otherwise we'd all be eating with our plates on our knees - nothing wrong with that, but we did that for years and specifically built the kitchen to be large enough to fit in a big table. We can sit around it with my mum and my inlaws. I love it.

witsender · 04/09/2016 09:00

Haha, I think I answered this first time around too!

Didn't zombie threads have a warning at the top as well recently?

mixety · 04/09/2016 09:03

At my mum's house the table is rarely used. Growing up we would only ever use it for Sunday dinner, the rest of the time it was trays in the living room.

As an adult our table is used a bit more: whenever we have DSS we eat at the table, but when it's just me and DP it is trays on laps! We have people round fairly often though and of course use the table then

I see your point OP, but wouldn't want to be without a dining table all the same. If I had a kitchen with a big table in though I wouldn't double up with another special room just for a dining table. Unfortunately our kitchen isn't big enough for a family size table.

PepsiPenguin · 04/09/2016 09:03

Usually have a warning on them, mind you I just read the entire thread and then noticed the date (gutted as was getting really cross with the OP)

BennyTheBall · 04/09/2016 09:03

We tend to eat seated around our kitchen island apart from at the weekend when we all sit at the table which is also in the kitchen.

I really dislike the idea of food on laps or trays.

mixety · 04/09/2016 09:04

Read the first pages without even noticing the dates...

FreshHorizons · 04/09/2016 09:04

Why do people find threads from 5 years ago?
They should be unable to post on them to stop it happening.

KingofnightvisionKingofinsight · 04/09/2016 09:05

OP once you have kids you will want a table. A childless adult couple has a completely different lifestyle to a family with children (that's why so many people think YABU). On the other hand you won't have time to read so you can get rid of the books. Seriously, DH and I are huge readers but these days ("modern life" and all) there's just no reason to hang on to thousands of piles of paper that take up space and collect dust. Plus you will soon start to accumulate children's books, which actually are worth keeping and tend to multiply!

listsandbudgets · 04/09/2016 09:05

I would hate to be without a table. When I moved into my first home I was do skint I scoured skips until I was lucky enough to find the Base of a table ( rectangular metal with legs) and a large piece of plywood
I perched the one on the other a day covered the lot with a cheap table cloth... then rescued a couple of cheap chairs from skips. I was so much happier once I had somewhere to eat, write, work etc.

These days with 2 children and do we have a real table which gets used nearly every meal time and a lot of the time in between for crafts, playing, coloring, using laptops etc. Chairs are still from a skip though but was lucky enough to find massively upgraded ones.

I think modern life cries out for a good table

RayofFuckingSunshine · 04/09/2016 09:06

We use our dining table daily and the entire family eats dinner together. We actually moved out of out last house because it didn't have space for a dining table, we thought it'd be fine when we moved in but it drove me absolutely mad.

raisedbyguineapigs · 04/09/2016 09:07

OP I know what you mean about an antiquetoo large table cramming g up a room. We inherited a beautiful oak table that didn't really fit well I to our dining room but that we couldn't get rid of. I was desperate for a lovely smaller rectangular table. But I would never go without a dining table at all. I think it's incredibly important for us to sit round it as a family for dinner. Even if one of us is away, we have a telly off sit at the table rule for the kids for all meals. Sometimes they can have a sandwich on their laps but that's it. It gives us time to talk about their day, we can see what they are eating and it makes less mess. If you are so busy you can't find 20 minutes to eat together a couple of times a week, you need a change of lifestyle.

SabineUndine · 04/09/2016 09:07

ZOMBIE thread, five years old!

dalmatianmad · 04/09/2016 09:10

Couldn't do without my table!
We eat every meal at the table, dc sit and do their homework, I'll sit and read the newspapers, amy craft stuff is done at the table.....

singleandfabulous · 04/09/2016 09:15

YABU I'm afraid.

Having a dining table and chairs and using them doesnt have to be formal, surely it's just the most convenient way to eat. If space is an issue then a folding table & stools which can be pushed underneath is the answer. What do you do if you have guests? Where do you put condiments and serving dishes? Breakfast taken on the sofa just seems bizarre to me.

I have a big dining kitchen in a shaker style with a table at the end looking out over the garden through the french windows. its both relaxed and practical.

I used to go out with someone who had no dining table and dinner in front of the tv on my lap (on a tray) used to depress the hell out of me.

Surely you need to teach your children how to dine at a table properly too. Trust me, they'll be judged by some if they cant.

MrsMargeSimpson · 04/09/2016 09:16

I grew up eating off my lap in front of the TV and didn't really see why we bothered using a whole room with a table that was eaten from on some Sunday's and special occasions. In retrospect I find that quite sad.
Conversely, my husband was raised eating at the table every day and it's important to him.
Our children get a combination of the two - there are some meals we will let them eat on a Friday/Saturday evening in front of the TV such as a pizza or takeaway, but at least 5 days of 7 we all eat together at the table. They also sit there for breakfast and lunch. We'd be lost and have disgustingly messy floors without our dining table.

hidingwithwine · 04/09/2016 09:17

Does it matter if it's an old thread? I don't get the angst and the clamour to tell everyone first about the cardinal sin that they are committing commenting on a "zombie" thread....Hmm

FeckinCrutches · 04/09/2016 09:17

ZOMBIE THREAD ZOMBIE THREAD ZOMBIE THREAD ZOMBIE THREAD

singleandfabulous · 04/09/2016 09:18

Fuck me. just seen the zombie alert.

somekindofmother · 04/09/2016 09:20

we were quite happy without a dining table for years! we at breakfast and lunch at work most days and dinner on the sofa. then we had ds and we started eating breakfast together at the table, he and I would have lunch at the table, and he'd have tea (with me sat with him) at the table, DH and I would still eat our dinner on the sofa together later.

lougle · 04/09/2016 09:24

We eat at the table every day.

motherducker · 04/09/2016 09:25

What a weird thing to say. Life doesn't HAVE to be rushed, sit down and enjoy your meal for gods sake! That's not to say we never eat in front of the telly but I couldn't do without our dining table.

babba2014 · 04/09/2016 09:25

We would use a dining table but no space. We eat picnic style on the floor as my first is still a toddler and when she goes through fussy periods it is easier sitting really close it eating from the same plate. We eat as a family a lot.

rosesarered9 · 04/09/2016 09:27

YABU
We eat in front of the TV or the kids eat in their rooms except on Sunday when we eat together. BUT we use it for homework (which is why we keep it), and birthdays, Christmas, parties etc.

Lightbulbon · 04/09/2016 09:28

This thread has made me feel like a shit parent.

dizzygirl1 · 04/09/2016 09:29

YABU! We use our dining table everyday to sit and have our meals and talk! Plus for the kids to play lego and do craft outside of meal times. We moved house recently and we couldn't use the table (took the legs off to help move) so for 2 weeks the kids were lost! First thing my DS said was -'but where are we going to eat?' Bless him.