to think it is just not necessary to have a dining table anymore?

[LDNmummy]

Traditionally it has always been the look of a good home to have a dining table, preferably with its own area/ room in a house for family gatherings.

But, with modern life as it is, I just don't think it is necessary to have one anymore, unless of course you genuinely use it at least once a week. But do most families anymore?

I don't know many families who still go through the process of sitting around the dining table every weekend let alone every day, possibly for the fact that it is a little extra effort people are not as formal about anymore and sitting together doesn't have to be around a table but even just in the living room watching the telly together IYSWIM.

Plus, houses are not always big enough to accomodate a large family sized table and some may just feel it isnt worth the hassle to cram one in.

I also think this about the large cabinets that traditionally housed all a households fine dining wear that would come out on special occasions.

Aren't these bulky pieces of furniture that take up lots of space and are rarely used outdated now except with older people?

My MIL has a six seater table in the living room that could easily fit eight diners but is used properly about once a year. Half the reason for that is that it is too big and has to be crammed against a wall so isnt convenient to sit around daily or even weekly anyway. She also has a very large display cabinet full of her best dining wear wich is only used when special guests such as family travelling from abroad are visiting, which is rarely.

She is about 60 and in her eyes these two items of furniture are essential to beautify a home as well as for practical reasons, which IMO is questionable. My DM and all the older women in my family feel the same way.

But isnt this just all outdated and unecessary faff a house can do without in a time when people are no longer as formal when it comes to situations such as dining?

The only time I've eaten from my lap is as a student. It would never occur to me to not sit at a table while eating. Even growing up in our house, grandparents, aunts, friends, everyone I saw always did the same. Our dining room table only gets used on sundays, special occasions or if we've people round but the kitchen table is set every night in life. The dc have been setting this since they were 3.

I've never had a dining table.

I've never had room for one

My children grew up eating at their own little table and chair sets whilst we ate dinner on our laps.

They do have beautiful table manners though

Much in the same vein as Kindles replacing obselete bookcases...don't think it'll happen.

Formal dining rooms are totally out of date. There is something very unpleasant about formal dining rooms and I loathe eating in them or going to homes that have them. Formal eating (five courses, linen, silver, cut class etc) is similarly totally naff.

However, eating round a large table in a casually elegant setting with good food and pretty but informal table ware is lovely!

This is a wind up right? Everyone needs a dining table. It's for breakfast and dinner and homework and piles of stuff and gossip - ours is in the kitchen though. I can sort of understand that you might sit on the sofa with your supper - we do that sometimes on saturdays when there is something addictive running like britain's got talent. But where would you have your breakfast??? As children get older, sitting in front of the tv with your dinner seems like a very poor idea - mine are 11 and 14 and the TV never goes on until after 9pm in the week - it's in the less lived in part of the house (probably where your dining table is!) so everyone forgets about it.

When I visit with my Mums family we all sit around the table to chat and drink tea.
We used to have meals when I was a child that lasted all evening, we'd chat, listen to music, read aloud. Not all the time, but often enough for it to be normal.
Sofas are for snoozing on.

OP, I'm a little that despite this overwhelming anecdotal evidence to the contrary you still don't seem to believe that most people find a table necessary.

Out of interest, can I ask what cultural background you come from as you've mentioned that being a factor a few times?

My dinner does lap dances

Love the name cymru

Bonsoir we enjoy being "naff" once in a while - even have a set of Lawrence Llewelyn (sp?) place mats and centre that gets used when its adults only. No butler but whats wrong with a bit of formal dining once in a while? Mostly it gets used for big spreads of help yourself stuff so there is a wide range we cater for depoending on who we have as guests.

Have only read the OP, but you are kidding right? We all eat breakfast and dinner at the table, and any lunches eaten at home are eaten at the table. I also sit there to use the laptop (i.e. now) or when dcs are on tinterweb (because I can keep an eye on them). It's way less hassle to eat at the table than to cart everything through to the living room, have people spill stuff from their laps (why would we want to eat from laps anyway??), and then have to clear up crumbs, etc. The kids also play at and under the table.

In fact, we have 2 tables in our dining room (knocked through to kitchen) - one for artycrafty stuff, and the dining one to be kept clear. We do also have a traditional dresser in which is our "best" dinner service which comes out for Christmas and special occasions. I'm not 60, just like the fun of having something for best, and the kids enjoy that too.

You talk of modern life, as though houses have all magically morphed into something smaller, but most houses are a)older than modern slovenly living and b) more space per person than 50 years ago.

You were out for a wind-up, weren't you? You cannot have been serious!!

YABVVU . We live in a house built for Ommpa loompas but we still have room for a table and its used every day for meals. It also encourages them to use basic table manners as well.

Besides making it easier to eat and see everyone at the same time its better for your digestion to be sitting up straighht whilst you are eating rather than being bent over a tray or low table.

My children always eat better if we sit and eat together, on rare occasions where we do let them have a tray on the couch - half of the food falls on their lap.

If its lack if space you could get a folding table, its so much nicer to sit at a table eating, passing drinks or sauces etc to each other. Especially for babies weaning, they can see what you are eating and help themselves to your plate etc. I am from a very big family and we all squashed around our small table with elbows in each others ribs and I have lovely memories of those times. The fun, laughter, fights and tears at meal time.

I guess its what you are use to, I have never considered not eating at a table and I would never want to change that.

I have had children come to tea who constantly get up and down whilst eating and cant sit still, this can be a real distraction for my children because I know they are excited to just go and play but table manners are important so I ask them to stay on their chairs until everyone is finished and we can chat until then.

If you are happy eating from a tray and dont get tummy trouble from it then go for it.

YAB so U

I wouldn't be without a table, even although I don't always eat at it. I even had one when I lived in a caravan, so I know they can be squeezed in somehow. I do know some people that don't have one though so I guess it's a matter of choice.

To inject a note of controversy, I suspect not having any sort of table when you have young children might even qualify as a Joseph Rowntree type poverty indicator.

we don't have a TV to switch off....

YABU my table gets used 3 times a day, breakfast lunch and supper/dinner/tea - whatever you call it. It's not in a dining room as we have a large kitchen.

I also would have nowhere to put all our stuff!!

I most definitely do not think a 'dining' table is obsolete. We sit at a table to eat all meals. The table we use mostly is in the kitchen but I do like using the dining room for more formal dinners. I do not think it's conducive to family life, or demonstrating good manners to sit with trays to eat, (especially in front of the television).

i think the mumsnet jury has made it pretty clear that the dining table is still relevant and necessary!

sorry, i can see this has been done to death already but just wanted to add to all the table users!

we use ours every single day!

how on earth do you feed toddlers without a table? sit them on the sofa???

YABU

We eat all our meals at the dining table. Even our housemate will come and sit at the table and have dinner with us and the kids every day. Sometimes we'll get a takeaway and sit on the floor in the living room, though I'm not quite sure why, but all other meals are eaten at the dining table.

I don't consider it formal at all. It's something I grew up with and it's normal to me. In fact it bugs me immensely when we visit the ILs who don't have room for all of us to sit round the dining table and we eat a roast dinner on our laps on the sofa.

I would agree with you if you meant a dining room table kept for best and a kitchen table used every day, but not having a table at all would be terrible.

Blasted MN! I wrote a response earlier but the stupid new log in timed out and it didn't work.

Too lazy to do it again right now so will come back to this later.

Yes, we sit at the table for 95% of meals but before DC, we often didn't and if DH comes home late, he will often eat alone with his meal on a tray.

Haven't read all the thread but I cannot imagine not having a table to eat around.
We have two, one in the kitchen we use for breakfast, lunches and if DH and I are going out to eat or eating later than DC. One in the dining room we use for dinner, if we have guests and when there are too many dishes to fit on the little table.
When people come round we for a cup of tea and a chat, we usually sit around the kitchen table.
We do sometimes eat in the sitting room off but only for a treat on a Friday or Saturday night.
My parents have a tiny house with a fold away table in the kitchen and we still all sit round it when we go to eat there.