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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think lots of people are "heightist"?

162 replies

MardyBra · 04/07/2011 09:07

On the MiL from hell thread someone stated that the groom wasn't much of a catch because he was a short-arse. I'm shortish and my DH is v short for a bloke. Doesn't make us (automatic) mingers. Why do some tall people have a misplaced sense of superiority.

OP posts:
pallymama · 04/07/2011 12:14

I'm 6', DH is 6'4", and the GP predicted our DD will be 6'1" eventually. I got picked on in school for being so tall, and right through untill I married DH my height was nearly always commented on, even if it was well-meant.

Now when I meet people with DH present, no one bats an eyelid. If I meet people and he's not there, saying "My DH is tall too" knocks all height related comments on the head, and I just get an "ahhh". Similar kind of thing happens when people comment on DDs height. They can see me, see that I'm tall, but still go "ooooh, she's going to be really tall!" and pull a shocked face. Then I mention that DH is also tall, the shocked face vanishes and I get "ahhh" and a knowing smile! It's like our association to a tall man somehow makes our heights more acceptable! Hmm

AuntyChrist · 04/07/2011 12:21

I notice no one mentioning the correlation between a man's height and there being...ahem...more to love. IME, I dated a tall guy who was smaller than average, and a boyfriend almost as short as I who was practically a tripod, but all in all, when a man is tall, everything else corresponds. Say what you will about the motion in the ocean, but a little dinghy can not a tsunami make.

And here I thought my first post would be on the recipe board :)

lachesis · 04/07/2011 12:26

Yes, they are. Some people find short men mingers. Others only find them mingers if they are not rich. Some feel the same way about bald men, they are only attractive if they are rich. Some people are rich-ist like that.

Still others dump men for having small willies. They are willie-ist.

The world is full of shallow people and others who can polish their halos for sure.

MotivatedSperm · 04/07/2011 12:28

I have real trust issues with tall people despite being 6ft1. I can't trust anyone taller than me.

Also I think all short people should be forced towear a number, not just Jockeys

lachesis · 04/07/2011 12:31

I want to be no. 27, Motivated. I like that number. I bagsy it. I am short.

My husband is tall. I have a daughter who is up to my shoulders already and she is quite young.

I will feel like Napoleon in my own home.

lachesis · 04/07/2011 12:32

Some men will not go out with flat-chested women. They are titt-ist. Some like a girl with a large, rounded backside. They are arse-ist.

Some women want only younger man. They are cougars.

lachesis · 04/07/2011 12:36

I have a mate who rejects women who have no booty, as he calls it. I'm going to tell him he's a shallow arseist. He will find that funny.

I have another mate, she will not go out with a man who is not black, though she is not black herself. She only wants to see black men. I'm going to name her something. She will tell me to fuck off.

LaurieFairyCake · 04/07/2011 12:38

I'm 5ft tall and through my whole life I got the slightly patronising 'pretty/cute' comments until people got to know me - when I was at uni I overheard my then-boyfriend telling his mate "don't underestimate her, she doesn't act short" Grin

I have a reputation for being very outspoken and fiesty. My dh is 6ft 2" and he actively likes me being small - my ex-husband dumped me for being small Shock apparently I didn't look like the wife of a city twat (it wasn't the only reason but it was one of the main ones)

GrimmaTheNome · 04/07/2011 12:43

I've never had a problem with being short (5'1")

I reckon the beanpoles are just jealous of how much more comfortable travelling is for people who are sensibly sized Grin

wonkylegs · 04/07/2011 12:54

I'm 4'11 (and it took a growth spurt to get me to this massive height) and I've dated short, tall and medium sized men, tbh don't give a toss how tall blokes are it's their other qualities that impress meWink
My whole family are short and both my brothers and dad are very successful women and job wise no idea what women see in them tho so I don't think it makes that much of a difference, I do understand the whole short man syndrome tho and think that some sufferers attitude to life is what's off putting rather than their actual height

lachesis · 04/07/2011 12:56

You are willieist, wonky.

WhipMeIndiana · 04/07/2011 12:58

trillianastra - I bow down to your comments on start of thread. v good show.

itisnearlysummer · 04/07/2011 12:59

lachesis

Oooh, your friend would like me then.

giveitago · 04/07/2011 13:01

'I think it's an advantage to be tall - lots of studies show correlations between being tall and being rich, for example. It's not prejudice, it's fact'

It IS prejudice. It really is.

I find being 5ft means I'm ignored - people just don't see me. Also you have to be careful of being thin as then you just really fecking disappear. The only time I was really physically noticed was when I was pregant with a nice big belly.

But for minging - not so - my mum is a tiny bit shorter than me and she's bloody stunning - just you have to look down a bit a notice!

lachesis · 04/07/2011 13:04

I like being invisible. I want an invisibility cloak.

TheFeministsWife · 04/07/2011 13:06

I'm 5"2 when I was younger I went out with a bloke who was 6"3. It did my head in he was so tall, made kissing v difficult! DH is 5"6 a much better suited height to me kissing is much nicer. Grin

thefirstMrsDeVere · 04/07/2011 13:07

I listened to a very interesting programme on R4 about dodgy songs. Apparently the Randy Newman one was supposed to be a satire on racisim and other bigotry and he never understood why people didnt 'get it'

Just thought you might be interested.

I am not short so cant really comment on the wider subject. I am average Sad

headfairy · 04/07/2011 13:08

I haven't read the whole thread but I must stand up for tall people... geddit??? :o

anyway... I must just say if you stray outside of the norms on either side you face discrimination... As a tall person I can never buy clothes that are long enough. Next have a massive Petite range in my local store but I can only buy the tall stuff online Hmm and I was told once that I'd never get a boyfriend because I had the bad grace to grow to the grand old height of 5'11". WTF??

You have my sympathies op, it's not nice being at either end of the scale.

Amateurish · 04/07/2011 13:08

Being short was always a pain at school - since Uni I can't say anyone ever mentioned it. I enjoy being short when:

in an aeroplane
sleeping - I can always stretch my legs out fully

but not so much when at a concert - I can never see a bloody thing, or when talking to very tall blokes

Not sure there is such a thing as a Napoleon Complex. It was on QI - Napoleon was in fact average height, taller than the Duke of Wellington in fact!

Studies have shown shorter men to be less agressive than average:

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6501633.stm

Ormirian · 04/07/2011 13:10

Try being a tall woman! You get called 'big' all the time. Clothes shops don't cater for you. You get back ache ironing. And any bloke over about 6' 5 gets the piss taken.

giveitago · 04/07/2011 13:18

Ormirain - never met a man 6'5! Or perhaps I have but did see him and he didn't see me.

Last week - OMG - I was at a circuit training class and I had to throw punches at this very tall very fit guy my age. IN the end he just asked that I punched his stomach and my shoulder level punches went straight to his stomach. I was really pissed off. He had a great workout - I just felt exploited!

worraliberty · 04/07/2011 13:19

Whenever I see a good looking short man, I always think "Aww it's a shame he's not taller"

Then again, I've never known a short man who didn't want to be taller.

CheerMum · 04/07/2011 13:25

I always wanted to be shorter, i'm 5'7". However, my dd is growing very rapidly and is already 5'4" aged 9. She will be taller than me within the next year. So now I want to be taller - cannot face going out with my baby girl being taller than me. shouldn't be allowed. :)

Seabright · 04/07/2011 13:37

I've only encountered practical type problems from being short (4'11") - trousers too long, can't reach high shelves etc. But coming from a short family (tallest is 5'5" - including men) I guess I just never really thought much about it.

The plus points are having small feet to match - can wear childrens shoes and not paying VAT. Also, I can be relativly comfortable in economy seats on a plane, even on EasyJet.

Am assuming DD will be a shorty too, given my genes and the fact her father is 5'4". Don't think there's much chance she'll grow up to be a basket ball player.

Ormirian · 04/07/2011 13:39

Ah well DB is 6'5. All my cousins are more or less that height too. I was brought up thinking that over 6 foot was normal height for a man. Boy was I in for a surprise Grin I spent my first few years after I left home being chatted up by men who were constantly talking to my tits!