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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think my hubby dis the right thing?

52 replies

badmummy101 · 02/07/2011 09:05

and REALLY didnt deserve a bollocking?
hubby works in a shop. yesterday he saw a little child toddling alone in the store. child looked to him to be about 18 months old. he saw no parents near by so walked up next to her and started to try to talk to her. things like, where is mummy? is daddy with you? whats your name? she just babbled back at him so he carried on beside her making sure she didnt get hit by anything or hurt herself. he called to another member of staff to put out an announcement and carried on with her, looking for anyone who might be a freaked out looking parent. anyway,. she walked up to where the access is too the toilet. the loos are accesses by a swinging door, which has a chest hight window. so if someone pushed the door the girl would have been caught square in the face, or she could have pushed it open and walked into the toilets. hubby picked her up and walked to the customer services desk. put the girl on it and handed her some random teddy to play with. he stood infront of her so she couldnt fall and was high up so easily seen. the dad came running up grabbed the daughter thanked hubby and appologised for not paying attention etc.
hubby then got a total bollocking off another member of staff for picking up the girl. apparently he put himself in a compromised situation. should have called for a female member of staff. and should have not followed her or touched her.
hubby is FUMING.
what do you all think?

OP posts:
cybboid · 02/07/2011 09:08

PC gone mad

Your H did the right thing

VelveteenRabbit · 02/07/2011 09:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Liluri · 02/07/2011 09:12

Other member of staff is a noboid.

Hopefully the father will contact the store to thank your DH officially, and he will get praised for his sensible and kind actions.

It sounds like he acted perfectly reasonably - keeping the child in public view at all times, and removing her from a dangerous situation.

ZhenXiang · 02/07/2011 09:12

Oh because females can't abuse children I assume [hmmm]. I can't stand this attitude, the toddler was fine, the toddler's parent was grateful. If your husband hadn't stepped in child could have walked out of the shop or been injured by a swinging door. Your husband did the right thing.

Original poster
badmummy101 · 02/07/2011 09:13

husband is going mental. he feels like he is being accused by this member of staff of being a threat to the child. and the staff member said what they did on the shop floor in front of other staff members and customers.

OP posts:
ZillionChocolate · 02/07/2011 09:13

Unless there's a formal policy on lost children, he did the right thing.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 02/07/2011 09:15

I think your DH is right to feel annoyed with that reaction. It's not his colleague's place to give him a bollocking. Get the store manager to ajudicate?

Original poster
badmummy101 · 02/07/2011 09:16

to be fair, i have no idea if there is a store policy on what to do.
but i dont see how they could have a blanket opolicy to cover lost children. mainly cause they will all react in differnt ways and be of differnt ages etc. also i think regardless of the policy he would have do the same again. he saw a child that could have been in a situation that she could get hurt and got her out the situation.

OP posts:
lisad123 · 02/07/2011 09:17

poor dh, he did the right thing.
However, we were told if a customer fell in the store we were not to touch them at all, because if we did the wrong thing we would be sued, so just wait for ambalnce!! yes because im going to let someone die for fear of being sued Hmm

SouthGoingZax · 02/07/2011 09:18

He did the right thing.

Hope there is someone like him around if one of my Ds's ever gets lost.

Jaspants · 02/07/2011 09:21

IMO your husband did the right thing in keeping the child safe.

However I think that touching a child (ie lifting up the girl) is generally not advised for CP reasons - and I totally agree it is crazy. I can remember DS teacher being very upset that she was told not to cuddle crying children

SpringchickenGoldBrass · 02/07/2011 09:21

Actually, he should complain about his colleague and insist on an apology. SOmeone that stupid and paranoid shouldn't really be dealing with the public in the first place. Well done your H.

giraffesCantZumba · 02/07/2011 09:41

yanbu

kaid100 · 02/07/2011 09:48

Funny, even before clicking on the thread I just knew from the title this would be about a lone child being approached by a concerned man. He took her out of danger, to the exactly correct place to be. Why should it have to be a woman taking her to the CS desk? You're husband's never (I presume, or you wouldn't be bringing this up here) been accused of any crime like this. What if the the female staff member he asked to intervene turned out to be Vanessa George?

BlaiddDrwg · 02/07/2011 10:04

lisad123 not sure if this still applies but years ago when I did a first aid course we were told that we were covered by the Good Samaritans Law to stop things like this happening.

eurochick · 02/07/2011 10:21

Your husband did the right thing.

The world is going bonkers.

bagelmonkey · 02/07/2011 10:26

He did the right thing. I hope he will do exactly the same thing again. Don't let one small minded ignoramus change what he'd do as he's obviously a good bloke.

GiveMeSomeSpace · 02/07/2011 10:31

What SGB said. You and your H knows he did the right thing. I think he should take it up with the powers that be at the firm he works for in a calm and matter of fact way. Clearly his colleague has no common sense - luckily you H does. :)

Liluri · 02/07/2011 10:36

It's such a shame that our culture has become so obsessed with the threat of litigation, and has been bombarded with scare stories that some are convinced there is a paedophile lurking in every corner, that anyone should be made to feel like they have done something wrong when merely using their common sense.

Your DH acted like any sensible adult male should have done in that situation.

Thank goodness some of us are still able to put instinct over health and safety memos!

RunAwayWife · 02/07/2011 10:41

Well done your DH he did the right thing, sadly the world is not full of scaremongering nobs who like to scream in the face of common sense to make themselves look clever, coupled with the ones who think a paedophile behind every bush and all women are sainted and would never harm a child.
Worlds gone mad

Omigawd · 02/07/2011 11:28

DH could not believe the hoops he had to jump through to coach other parents' kids at sport, he was just a volunteer parent ffs. The " system" assumes all men are paedo rapists these days, I blame the rabid feminists for poisoning the legal system.

Omigawd · 02/07/2011 11:30

Meant to say your DH did the humanly right think but probably the legally wrong thing.

biddysmama · 02/07/2011 11:43

i have a 10 month old and a 27 month old... in asda last week my 27 month old bolted for the door, i grabbed the 10 month old and ran after her but shes much quicker than i am thanks to the lovely early pregnancy back,hip and pelvic pain i have atm, a security guard saw her and grabbed her just as she reached the car park, i have never ever been so grateful in my life!! i didnt care that it was a man that got her, just that she was safe!! your dh did the right thing and (like i did) the parent should ask for him to be thanked properly and the collegue should get a bollocking for their attitude to child safety!

ChaoticAngelinLimbo · 02/07/2011 11:45

I suspect the "rabid feminists" have more respect for men than to assume they are all paedo rapists Hmm

OP Your DH did the right thing.

JambalayaCodfishPie · 02/07/2011 11:50

I have been in this position years ago - when i worked for a chain of family restaurants.

I was coming in to start my shift, and a toddler came running out of the open door. The door leads straight out onto the busiest road in Manchester. I swooped down, picked her up, saying 'oh no you dont' or something along those lines and carried her back into the restaurant.

Got waves of praise and thank you's from parent (flustered mum of three) and an absolute bollocking from the manager. Shouldnt have touched her/picked her up, etc. RIDICULOUS