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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think visitors shouldnt just decide to sit in the garden?

38 replies

familyfun · 01/07/2011 20:14

had a busy day today with dd2, had to take her on school run as normal, also had to take her to bank, then back to school for social event, then to deliver a present so by 6 she hadnt napped all day and was lying on her playmat chilling after her dinner for half hour before bath and bed. she is 7 months.

aibu to think that if family come round unexpectedly and say arnt you sitting out its lovely, and i reply no because dd1 is reading happily inside and dd2 is playing and i dont want to sit outside holding her, that they shouldnt say well we are going out and go and sit in the garden. so then tea has to be took out for them, dd1 migrates outside and gets a bit hyper and i feel obliged to go and sit out holding dd2.

iabu and petty and having a good old moan tonight but its my house andif they wanted to sit outside why didnt they stop t home?

moan moan moan

OP posts:

eurochick · 01/07/2011 20:16

I think YABU. It's a lovely day and it's healthy for kids to be outside.

Nowtspecial · 01/07/2011 20:16

That would wind me up too, it's inconsiderate.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 01/07/2011 20:16

Who are these pushy visitors, bossing you around? And why did you take tea out to them if that's not what you wanted? Repeat to yourself 'it's my home.. my rules' on a daily basis. Stick up for yourself a bit more.

worraliberty · 01/07/2011 20:17

Well they wouldn't have got bloody tea brought out to them if it was my garden!

usualsuspect · 01/07/2011 20:19

My family would make their own tea

thisisyesterday · 01/07/2011 20:21

depends.

if i;m at my mums house and iw anted to sit outside i blimmin well would. and if she was over here and fancied going outside she would as well.
i think my best friend would be the same.

if it was someone i didn't know quite so well i would find it a bit odd though for sure

thelittlefriend · 01/07/2011 20:22

I don't get this thing for sitting outside just because it's a lovely day. If my dd is happier inside then I let her stay there whatever the weather! It might be healthy to play outside, but it's not unhealthy to be inside for a bit!

Original poster

familyfun · 01/07/2011 20:22

it is a lovely day but dd1 has playe out at nursery and then danced outside at scool social and been outside while deliveing present so was relaxing reading before bed and dd2 cant sit yet so has to be held outside.
my mom would make her own tea,noone else would.
dp took the tea out, i would have left them thirsty tbh

OP posts:

GoggleEyed · 01/07/2011 20:22

What would they have done if you had asked them to come in? Or said no? Cheeky gits.

Original poster

familyfun · 01/07/2011 20:24

they actually said oh the back door is locked and i said yes thats because we arent going back out again tonight and they still went out, cheek imo, they are close family but its our house not theirs.

OP posts:

diggingintheribs · 01/07/2011 20:25

Why does DD2 need to be held? Does she roll around?

If so, we used our paddling pool - put blanket down and then DD's mat and toys - high sides meant she couldn't escape into the flower beds!! We all sat round and she loved the attention!!

diggingintheribs · 01/07/2011 20:26

(sorry - went off topic)

Agree it is rude for guests to persist once explained why you don't want to do something

Original poster

familyfun · 01/07/2011 20:26

she rolls around and eats everything, mainly flowers, passing ants, she is a hungry girl

OP posts:

starfishmummy · 01/07/2011 22:57

As someone who is very fair skinned I get equally fed up when we go to certain relatives houses and they want us to sit outside on their uncomfortable plastic chairs (or even worse when we are all crammed together on the swinging seat thingy). Its not even as if they have a nice garden to look at. Its all paving slabs, stupid plastic ornaments and they have three sheds

Scholes34 · 01/07/2011 23:50

Ooh, I'd love it if my family called by like this - they all live three hours away. I suppose it's a case of the grass is always greener - and if you ventured outside, you'd be able to see exactly how green your grass is.

Therefore I think YABU!

WhereYouLeftIt · 02/07/2011 00:47

So they came to visit your garden, not you?

cjbartlett · 02/07/2011 06:53

Sounds a bit odd! What time did they call? Was it the inlaws by any chance

LoveBeingAbleToNamechange · 02/07/2011 07:15

I would have stayed inside, I have bad hayfever ATM

PaleHandsILoved · 02/07/2011 07:29

I also wish my family could just drop by but they're five hours away! I think you're being a tiny bit UR, really - it's not much more trouble to take tea out to the garden, is it, and it's good for children to be out in the fresh air. I would actually rather have visitors in the garden if having tea and cake etc as the birds will eat any crumbs rather than me having to Hoover! Plus all the flowers are out and I am a garden show-off .

jugglingmug · 02/07/2011 07:40

Well, YANBU to want to choose where visitors sit i your own home.

YABU to not let DD2 roll around in the garden when there's someone to watch her.

SmethwickBelle · 02/07/2011 07:58

I don't think you're being unreasonable, it depends what your garden is like too whether trouping out constantly is practical. Until recently when I had the time energy and money to sort it out our garden was a rubbish place to be with the children (as two toddlers), ostensibly a nice garden, but immense stone steps everywhere, cat shit in all the beds, fox poo on the lawn and I was just permanently rushing about scooping up shit, hosing grass off and on edge to leap to grab them from falling off steps when they were out there so it wasn't remotely relaxing for me as a parent. Of course we would go out, but after a long day I wouldn't be thinking - ah yes, lets soak up some more sunshine, it would feel like a massive chore.

Goblinchild · 02/07/2011 08:26

YANBU, but I agree with usualsuspect.
My family drop around regularly at the weekend, but they'd make tea for themselves and me. If they wanted to sit in the garden, they'd also probably do a bit of weeding and watering.
My parents lack the capacity for sloth, I don't know where I get it from.
If it bothers you, time to set a few clear ground rules to keep relationships happy. Or send them home again.

ENormaSnob · 02/07/2011 08:50

Yanbu

I think it's quite rude.

feelforcedout · 02/07/2011 08:53

yabu - i hate this - on a "nice day" my parents come round and go stright in our garden and set up camp een though i cant sit outside a great deal ecause i suffer with hayfever so bad it sets me off straght away so they visit and i end up sitting in withthe patio door open delivering coffee to them why they sit out - my dad generally says to mother its not fair you know shes not well being outside but she just says im a miserable fecker and stays out - nice like that!

feelforcedout · 02/07/2011 08:54

Lol sorry YANBU i got that wrong! couldnt see the keys for the snot runnign down my face/ watery eyes because dh has the windows open and neighbours mowing lawn!

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